Winter
Two months.
Two months had passed by and Winter had not seen her Ma or read a letter from her. Carol had gotten four letters from her Ma so far. Winter had gotten none. She knew why even if she had not yet admitted it to herself.
Her Ma hated her.
And rightfully so, Winter thought. If she had not been born, if she had not been a hybrid, the soldiers would not have come, her Pa would not have died and Ava would still be humming around the market square in their small town, Dwinsdale in the city of Aralor.
But they were no longer in Dwinsdale or Aralor.
Winter and her Aunt, Carol were in a village now, miles away from Aralor. Winter did not know the name of the village or the roads they took to get there. All she knew was that they were there to meet friends of the rebellion and begin Winter's training and initiation.
A month after her Pa's death and Ava's sacrifice, her Ma had still not returned from wherever she went off to and so Aunt Carol decided that it was a good time to leave Dwinsdale for a few months or more. At least until Winter's Ma returned to care for her.
Another month had gone by since then and still, her Ma had not returned.
Winter pushed out her bottom lip, playing with the small orange fish in the wooden bowl. Early that morning, Aunt Carol had brought the fish home. Dropped it in a water-filled bowl on a table in the kitchen.
Then, she had turned to Winter and said. "It's called a palow fish. Don't touch it,". And then she left and had not returned since. Winter was growing bored and lonely. She missed her Ma and as caring as Aunt Carol was, she was cold and distant most of the time.
Winter missed her Ma's warm embrace, her long silky black hair that smelled like coconuts but most importantly, Winter missed her laughter.
She missed the way her Ma doubled over from laughing, the way her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink with joy. She missed it all. Winter's cheeks got wet as she thought about her Ma and then her Pa and finally her older sister, Ava. Before she knew it, she was crying with snot running down her nose.
"I hope you're not crying," Aunt Carol drawled, entering the kitchen.
Winter startled, wiping her face and smearing the snot all over her hands. She had not heard Aunt Carol come in and now, she knew she was in for a good scolding.
"What did I tell you?" Aunt Carol questioned, walking up to the kitchen table. She sneered at the fish in the bowl.
"You said not to touch the fish," Winter sniffled, hiding her wet hands behind her back and bowing her head.
"Chin up!" Aunt Carol snapped, slamming her open palm against the table. "You never, ever bow your head. Have you learnt nothing from your lessons these past few weeks?"
Winter flinched. Aunt Carol was angry. She had every right to be because one of the first lessons she had drilled into Winter was to never bow her head no matter the circumstance. Winter lifted her chin, biting her lip to distract herself from crying like she wanted to.
"What was your second lesson?" Aunt Carol asked, her voice was much calmer now.
"To set fire to my emotions," Winter answered, her voice barely a whisper.
Aunt Carol's eyes narrowed, her gaze icy and unyielding. "Exactly. Emotions are a weapon aimed at your heart. They make you vulnerable, weak. Out there, having any emotion whatsoever is like bleeding in a sea full of sharks. You must learn to mask every feeling, to be a fortress that no one can breach."
Winter felt a shiver run down her spine as she met Aunt Carol's piercing blue gaze. "Yes, Aunt Carol," she replied, her voice trembling slightly.
Aunt Carol's expression softened for a brief moment. "Emotions are fleeting," she whispered, taking the fish out of the bowl of water.
It wiggled and squirmed in her hands but she did not hesitate, she did not falter.
Winter watched with wide eyes as the palow fish was placed on the table, struggling for water.
"Did you like the fish?" Aunt Carol asked.
"Yes," Winter gasped, nodding her head eagerly. The fish was beautiful and it glowed a bright golden colour which Winter loved.
Aunt Carol looked at the fish, lifted a knife high up and cut it in half.
It stopped moving. It was dead.
Winter choked back a scream, tears filled her eyes but she blinked them back.
"Initially, I was going to teach you to be a master of emotions, to hide them, bury them. But the scary truth about buried things is that they can always be found and when the soil washes away, they come to the surface. But if you set your emotions ablaze, there'll be nothing but ash left. Only then will you survive,"
"So….so…you…you don't have emotions?" Winter squeaked, eyeing the dead fish. She had really wanted to keep the fish.
"I was born without them. I've never felt a thing in my life but I know how to imitate emotions. The only emotions I genuinely feel are anger, disgust and hatred," Aunt Carol answered. "Soon, you'll feel the same way too,"
Winter swallowed, nodding her head.
"Are you hesitating?" Aunt Carol demanded, her gaze hardened as she set her eyes on Winter.
Winter shifted uncomfortably under her aunt's cruel watch. She had not changed her mind about paying the king back. She was scared. She was scared of Aun Carol.
"The king killed your father and your sister. You should not hesitate," Aunt Carol snapped, looking disgustedly at Winter.
Her aunt's words sunk into her soul, into her very being.
Winter thought about it. That awful night.
Her heart sped faster as hot blinding rage swept over her vision, filling her up until she felt like she would explode. The king should be afraid of her. She had the power. It was why he was hunting people like her down because they were powerful.
Winter saw a flash of hatred in her Ma's eyes on that night and her anger burned hotter. The king made her Ma hate her. He made her Ma leave.
Something snapped inside of her.
She met her Aunt's cold gaze, Winter's once bright blue eyes had dimmed significantly.
"The king will learn to fear me. I will fear nothing but me," Winter drawled.
She felt nothing.
Perhaps, her mother hated her long before her father and Ava died. Perhaps, her Ma saw what others did not when they looked at Winter.
A monster.