Chereads / Falling in love with the nanny / Chapter 9 - CHAPTER NINE Forbidden Desires

Chapter 9 - CHAPTER NINE Forbidden Desires

I woke up the following day with a jolt, my heart racing as memories of last night flooded my mind. The kiss with Brian lingered on my lips, its taste etched into my very being. The touch of his fingertips on my cheek sent shivers down my spine, awakening a deep longing within me.

As I got out of bed and went about my morning routine, my thoughts remained consumed by the moment we had shared. It replayed in my mind like a broken record, and each detail was etched vividly in my memory. The intensity of that kiss, the way time seemed to stand still, the electric connection between us—it was a moment I couldn't shake off.

I hurriedly prepared the children for school, my hands trembling slightly as I tried to focus on the task at hand. But my mind kept drifting back to Brian, wondering if he was thinking about our secret encounter as well. I longed to see him, to catch a glimpse of that familiar gaze that held a mixture of desire and restraint.

However, I was disappointed when I learned that Brian had already left for work. The driver informed me that he would be dropping off the children at school, leaving me alone in the grand mansion that had become my second home. The absence of his presence weighed heavily on my heart, intensifying the yearning that had taken root within me.

I went about my daily task and didn't stop thinking of last night. The kids arrived at noon, and I helped them with their homework. We played hide and seek after. After dinner, I tucked them into bed and noticed Brian wasn't home yet. "Maybe, he's running late today." I thought to myself.

I couldn't help but wait, hoping that Brian would return soon. The hours ticked by slowly, the silence of the house echoing the emptiness I felt inside. I paced back and forth, stealing glances at the clock, willing time to move faster.

Exhaustion took hold of me, and despite my efforts to stay awake, sleep eventually claimed me. As I drifted off into slumber, my dreams were filled with fragments of our stolen kiss, a bittersweet reminder of the forbidden desires that consumed us both.

The days stretched into a long, agonizing week, and I found myself consumed by worry and unanswered questions. Brian's absence weighed heavily on my heart, filling me with confusion, frustration, and an undeniable longing. Each passing day only deepened the uncertainty, and I couldn't help but wonder what could have possibly gone wrong.

I replayed our last moments together in my mind, searching for any hint or clue that could explain his sudden disappearance. Had I said or done something to push him away? Was he avoiding me intentionally, or was he simply caught up in the demands of his work? Was it because of the kiss? The nagging doubts gnawed at my thoughts, casting a shadow of doubt on our shared connection.

The loneliness and emptiness enveloped me as the days dragged on, and I couldn't shake off the feeling of longing that consumed me. Brian's absence left a void in my heart and the lives of the children. They, too, had noticed his prolonged absence, their innocent eyes filled with questions I struggled to answer.

My anxiety grew with each failed attempt to reach him through phone calls. His number remained perpetually unreachable, intensifying my worries and fueling my imagination with worst-case scenarios. What could have happened to him? Was he in trouble? The uncertainty played tricks on my mind, and my emotions swung between fear, frustration, and profound sadness.

This particular night, unable to bear the weight of the unknown any longer, I decided to wait up for him. I retreated to the comfort of the parlor after I had tucked the children to bed. The warmth of the crackling fireplace offered solace amidst the flickering shadows. Clutching one of my favorite books, I hoped to find distraction in its familiar pages while remaining ever-vigilant for Brian's arrival.

As the minutes ticked by, I tried to lose myself in the words printed on the pages before me, but my mind kept drifting back to thoughts of Brian. The crackling fire mirrored the turbulence within me, its dancing flames reflecting the uncertainty and longing that consumed my heart.

Silence enveloped the house, broken only by the occasional creaking of the floorboards and the gentle whisper of the wind outside. My eyes darted to the clock, its hands marking the passing of time, each tick echoing with a hollow ache.

With every passing moment, anticipation mingled with apprehension, creating a swirling mix of emotions that tugged at my heartstrings.

And so, I waited in the stillness of the night, my thoughts a tangled web of worry and longing. The dancing flames cast fleeting shadows across the room as if mimicking the uncertainty that enveloped my heart. It felt as if the world had been put on hold, suspended in time until Brian's return.

As the night wore on, exhaustion weighed heavily on my eyelids, and my grip on the book loosened. I fought against the urge to succumb to sleep, my determination to see Brian's face once again fueling my resistance. But the weariness proved to be stronger, and eventually, my eyes grew heavy, the book slipping from my grasp as sleep claimed me.

"Daphne… Daphne...?"

 Brian's voice penetrated my dreams, jolting me awake from my slumber. My eyes blinked open, adjusting to the soft glow of the dimly lit room, as I turned my gaze towards Brian, who stood in the doorway with surprise and concern on his face.

"Brian?" I mumbled, my voice still heavy with sleep. "What time is it?" I reached for my phone on the nearby table and saw it was well past midnight.

Brian glanced at his watch and let out a sigh. "It's late, Daphne. Why aren't you in your bed? What are you doing?"

My heart skipped a beat at his questions. I knew I had to be honest with him, despite the vulnerability it would expose. Sitting up straighter, I mustered the courage to speak. "I haven't seen or heard from you in a week, Brian. I was worried. The children kept asking of you. I didn't know what had happened or if something had gone wrong. So, I decided to wait up tonight."

His features softened briefly, but he quickly regained his composure, his expression returning to its usual aloofness. "You shouldn't have bothered, Daphne. It's none of your business whether I'm here or not. Don't make a habit out of waiting up for me."

His words hit me like a cold shower, dousing my hopes and shattering the fragile connection we had started to build. I felt a lump form in my throat, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I had hoped for a different reaction, a hint of concern or regret, but Brian's words stung with a harsh indifference.

Without a word, I turned away, not wanting him to see the tears that threatened to betray my emotions. I quietly made my way out of the parlor and headed towards my room, and my footsteps were muffled by the weight of disappointment that hung in the air. Brian's dismissal hurt more than I had anticipated, and I couldn't find the strength to respond.

The tears finally spilled freely down my cheeks as I closed the door to my room behind me. The emotions I had held in check over the past week surged to the surface, overwhelming me with a sense of sadness and longing. I had allowed myself to hope, to believe that our connection meant something more, but Brian's cold response shattered those illusions.

Lying on my bed, I wiped away the tears, silently vowing to protect my heart from further pain. I realized then that the line between us, drawn by society's expectations and the weight of our respective roles, had grown thicker and more impenetrable.

As I drifted off to sleep once more, the echoes of Brian's words lingered in my mind. I knew that this setback would not dampen my spirit entirely. I would continue to care for the children, to be the reliable and loving presence they needed.

Brian stood in the parlor on the other side of the closed bedroom door, his mind consumed by a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. He had indeed been busy with work, but he couldn't deny the nagging feeling that he had been purposefully avoiding me. He had also not spoken to his kids in a week, though he snuck every night to see them while they slept. The realization hit him like a punch to the gut, and guilt washed over him, threatening to drown him in its waves.

As he replayed the conversation in his mind, Brian couldn't shake the image of my tear-filled eyes and the hurt that had flashed across my face. He had lashed out at me, scolding me for caring, for being there when he had shut me out. It hadn't been fair, and he knew it. But the walls he had built around himself, guarding his heart and protecting his family's memory, had become impenetrable fortresses that even my warmth struggled to breach.

"Why do I feel this way about her?" Brian's thoughts whispered in the silence of the room. He knew the answer, deep down. It was the same reason he had been drawn to me from the beginning—the spark of connection, the way I cared for his children, the way I saw him beyond the stoic facade he presented to the world. But he couldn't allow himself to entertain those feelings. They were forbidden, dangerous, and could only lead to heartache.

"I can't feel this way about her," Brian muttered to himself, his voice barely above a whisper. He clenched his fists as if trying to hold back the tide of emotions threatening to break through. He couldn't afford to let his guard down, to allow himself to be vulnerable again. The pain of loss was still fresh in his heart, and he couldn't bear the thought of opening himself up to it once more.

But despite his resolve, Brian couldn't deny the magnetic pull he felt toward me. My caring nature, selflessness, and how I brought life and laughter into his home. They tugged at his heartstrings, demanding to be acknowledged. And in that moment, as he stood alone in the quiet parlor, Brian made a silent promise to himself. He would make it up to the kids for his absence. He would take them to the park, create moments of joy, and create memories with them.

Lost in his thoughts, Brian knew he had a long way to go. He had to confront the demons that haunted him, to unravel the tangled web of guilt, grief, and desire that threatened to ensnare him. But one thing was clear—he couldn't ignore the impact I had made on his life and the lives of his children. And as the flickering flames of the fireplace danced before him, Brian sat there and drifted off to sleep.

The following day, I woke up to the sound of voices and laughter downstairs. I walked in to see the bright faces of the children and Brian talking to them, apologizing for being absent and asking questions.

"I'm sorry, Elena, Simon, for being absent."

"It's fine, Daddy. Daphne said you were busy with work and always called to check up. She said you promised to be around by the weekend, and here you are." Elena's eyes lit up as she hugged her dad.

"I've missed you, Daddy."

"I've missed you too, pumpkin."

Simon also joined in the hug.

As I entered the room, a smile tugged at the corners of my lips. "Good morning, kids," I greeted, savoring the joyful chaos surrounding me.

"Daddy, Daphne's here!" Elena exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

 

Brian turned towards me.

"Good morning, Mr. Michaels."

"Good morning, Daphne."

I watched as Elena and Simon rushed towards me, their small arms wrapping around my waist.

"Good morning, my little sunshine and adventurous explorer," I said, tousling Elena's hair and ruffling Simon's playfully.

Brian's voice broke the sweet moment, drawing my attention back to him. "I'll be taking the kids out this morning. Please prepare them; we'll be going to the park."

Elena's eyes widened with excitement, and Simon's face lit up with a wide grin. They eagerly embraced the idea of spending quality time with their father. But before Brian could finish his sentence, Simon interrupted, his eyes shining with anticipation. "Can Daphne come too?"

Before Brian could respond, I interjected with a gentle smile. "No, I can't join you today, Simon. I have some things to take care of."

Brian glanced at me, understanding and disappointment in his eyes. He then turned to the kids,

"Elena, Simon, go and have breakfast. I'll join you shortly."

I turned to follow the kids but was stopped by Brian.

"Daphne..." he started, his voice trailing off.

I paused, turning to face him fully. "Yes, Mr. Michaels?"

A brief silence hung between us, charged with unspoken emotions. I could see the struggle in his eyes, the weight of his thoughts. He cleared his throat and found his voice. "Thank you, Daphne. Thank you for being there for my children, for keeping them safe and loved. I appreciate it more than words can express."

"You're welcome, Mr. Michaels. Taking care of them is a privilege and a joy for me. They mean a lot to me."

Brian nodded, his gaze lingering on me for a moment longer…

"Daphne," Brian's voice was gentle yet filled with a hint of hesitation, beckoning me to stay a moment longer.

"Yes, Mr. Michaels?"

"I wanted to apologize to you, too," he began, his voice laced with sincerity. "I shouldn't have shouted at you last night. I was wrong."

I looked into his eyes, seeing regret and vulnerability. It was a side of Brian that he rarely revealed, and it tugged at my heartstrings.

"I appreciate your apology, Mr. Michaels. I know you've been going through a lot, and I understand you needed space. But remember, I'm here for you, for the kids. We're a team."

Brian nodded, his gaze lingering on mine for a moment before he spoke again. "I know, Daphne. And I'm grateful for your support. Sometimes, I struggle to let people in, to rely on others. But I want you to know that I trust you and appreciate everything you do for Elena and Simon."

We stood there for a moment, connected by an unspoken understanding.

I felt the electricity in the air as Brian stepped closer, his presence enveloping me. The room seemed to shrink, and my heart raced in anticipation. There was an unspoken desire between us, a longing that had grown stronger with each lingering touch.

But just as the distance between us closed, Brian hesitated. His lips, so close to mine, stopped midway, and a conflicted expression replaced the yearning in his eyes. The intensity of the moment was palpable, yet he held himself back.

"I don't know why I feel this way," he confessed, his voice barely a whisper, filled with confusion and frustration. His admission hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions.

I remained still. I could see the battle within Brian, torn between his desires and the weight of his responsibilities. It was a struggle he had been fighting all along, a conflict between his guarded nature and the forbidden desires that had taken root within us.

 

Silently, Brian stepped back, turning away from me. I watched as he retreated, his posture stiff and expression clouded with longing and self-restraint. It was as if he had built an impenetrable wall around himself, shielding his emotions from the world and me.

In that moment, I realized that Brian's guarded nature went more profound than I had imagined. His reluctance to give in to his feelings stemmed from a place of fear and self-preservation. The pain of losing his late wife still lingered within him, and the guilt of moving on threatened to consume him.

As much as I yearned for his touch and the intimacy we had shared in stolen moments, I understood that there were battles he needed to face on his own. I couldn't force him to break down the walls he had built or to let go of his reservations.

So, I took a step back as well, giving him the space he needed to navigate the complexities of his emotions. It was a bittersweet realization, knowing that our desires were entangled yet unattainable for the time being.

As the sound of the children's laughter echoed from the dining room, Brian moved further, but his gaze remained locked with mine. "Let's make today a good day for them, Daphne. They deserve it."

I nodded, "Yes, Brian. Let's make it a day filled with joy and memories."

With that, we joined the children in the dining room, ready to embark on a day at the park, leaving behind the weight of the past and embracing the present moment.

He turned his attention to the children. "Alright, let's go have some fun at the park, shall we?"

The kids cheered in response, their eagerness infectious. As we settled around the table, I couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope. The morning brought a renewed sense of possibility—a chance to bridge the gap between us and explore the unspoken desires that simmered beneath the surface.

As we sat together, savoring the shared moments and the laughter that filled the room, I couldn't help but believe that perhaps, just perhaps, our forbidden desires could find a way to coexist with the love and connection we had discovered. Only time would tell, but for now, we embraced the warmth of the present.