My face is filled with black colors. Black hair, black eyebrows, black eyelashes, only my skin is different with its bright brown color. But there is one other color that appears on my face, it is a minority color that is visible on my face, which is gray.
My eyes are gray, just like how I see the world now. The world that should be colorful has been mixed with gray color, making all the colors in my life look dim.
I know that the problem is not with my eyesight. It's just a matter of how I perceive the world at the moment. I understand many things even when I was still young. I understood too many things that made me have many strange questions that normal people should never think about when they were young. I often questioned the meaning of my existence in this world.
If someone asks how it feels to have a lot of knowledge, then I would define it with one sentence.
"Knowledge is a curse."
The more you know, the more you question in order to find out more. And that is not what normal people should do when they are young.
That's why sometimes I feel envious of someone who enjoys their life without knowing anything around them.
"I envy the foolish and ignorant."
Those words fit me perfectly right now. Because I always see foolish people around me smiling and feeling happy every day.
Therefore, if I could be reborn one day, maybe I would choose to be someone without talent, at least that way I have a limitation to know something.
"Hey Will... I'm sorry, today was chaotic."
"You don't need to apologize to me, you're not the one who should apologize to me."
"But... I involved you..."
"If you feel very guilty about it, then you just have to do something to make up for it."
"What is it?"
"Accept my invitation next time, when you're feeling better."
"Yes... Definitely... I promise..."
After that last conversation with Beatrice in front of her mansion-like house, Beatrice smiled at me before she entered the gate.
Meanwhile, her father came out and met me, immediately bowed his head and said, "I'm sorry! I didn't expect that to happen."
"So that's it... It seems my hunch was right."
"Eh?"
"So... Has that person been caught?"
Beatrice's father suddenly smiled and replied, "Unfortunately, no...
How did you know...?"
"Of course I understand, a well-known wealthy family like yours would not let their precious child out without a guard, right?"
"Hahaha... You're so much like your father."
"What do you mean by that? And why are you friends with my father?"
"We've already explained before that your father and I used to be rivals."
"Rivals?"
"Yeah... Rivals..."
"Hmm... Alright then... I'll go home now," I started to move away.
"Ehhh? Are you leaving just like that? Don't you want to know about the incident today? At least have a meal at my house! Hey!"
"No need..."
"Huft... You're really stubborn. Thank you for today, Will!"
I turned back briefly and nodded before walking away.
Honestly, I don't deserve that gratitude. I even chose to stay silent and do nothing, entrusting it to Beatrice's guards who silently followed Beatrice and me at that time.
But honestly, it seems that Beatrice's guards today are quite amateur. Because they are very easy to recognize. Their eyes that often glanced at Beatrice made me notice them.
They shouldn't have been caught if they did it discreetly. But their prolonged eye movements towards Beatrice made me slightly uneasy.
Honestly, I felt a little relieved when I realized that the conversation I wanted to have with Beatrice today failed. I was afraid that there would be amateur guards who would suddenly attack me just because I made Beatrice cry with my words.
But my goal today failed, I will surely think about today and reflect on it for a few days.
My goal today was only one. Which is to prevent misunderstandings between me and Beatrice.
Beatrice slowly started to fall in love with me. But I don't know if it's pure love or love that grows out of guilt. If that love grows out of guilt for what she did to me in the past, I will never be able to accept that kind of love.
That's why today I wanted to straighten things out with Beatrice. But it failed because of the incident that suddenly happened to us.
What I fear is when I don't know the truth behind Beatrice's feelings but she has already confessed her love to me. I am sure that at that moment I would be very hesitant with the decision I would make. I don't even know what to say if that were to happen.
And when it happens, my silence at that time might hurt Beatrice. This is the one of thing I don't want to happen in the relationship between Beatrice and me.
I have already made Beatrice hope for too long. And when I realize that there is a possibility that I hurt her heart every day, I am afraid I will hate myself when that happens.
That's why... I have to clarify Beatrice's feelings before it all happens.
"Huft... Do it another time...," I thought as I returned to visit an old man under the bridge.
White beard, hair, and mustache that made him look old. And he also looked like he lived in a pile of cardboard boxes that he called his home.
"Hey... Old man, I'm visiting again."
"Ohh! William!" He greeted me while grilling fish by the river right under the bridge.
"Just call me Will, old man."
"What makes you think of coming here again, Will? Didn't you visit me this morning?"
"This morning I just brought you bread. This time I brought you a canned drink."
"Huft... I told you don't have to do this. Since yesterday you have visited me 4 times, and this is the fifth time you come. What makes you think of helping someone like me?"
"Helping?" I asked as I started to sit down and opened one of the canned drinks and drank it.
"Eh? Why do you look confused?"
"No... It seems you misunderstood something."
"What?"
"I'm doing all this not to help you. Why would I help someone who wears fake hair, mustache, and beard?"
After I said that, the old man smiled at me.
"You... are quite interesting."
"Really? I'm more interested in what you're doing. Actually, what have you been doing for the past week. What's are you doing... Old man?"