The view stretched endlessly before us, a breathtaking horizon that seemed to go on forever. We were sitting on a bench on top of the mountain, the cool breeze carrying the scent of pine and wildflowers. The sun was setting, casting a golden glow across everything. It felt like we were on top of the world, yet, deep inside me, there was a storm brewing—one that had nothing to do with the serene landscape around us.
I looked at Christopher, sitting right next to me. He was laughing at something, his head tilted slightly, the sun highlighting the sharp edges of his jawline and the soft curves of his smile. He looked perfect, like he always did. But while he seemed calm, content even, I couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of fear gripping my chest. My wedding was in a week. One week. And in that week, my entire life would change forever.
How had things shifted so dramatically, so quickly? I was a mess not too long ago. Depressed, sad, drowning in my own thoughts, my own darkness. There were days when I didn't want to get out of bed. Days when the thought of living another moment felt unbearable. But now, suddenly, everything was different. It was like life had done a complete 180 in a matter of months. I was no longer that hopeless, suicidal maniac I used to be. Now, I was sitting on a mountain top, about to marry the man of my dreams.
I should have been ecstatic, but instead, a wave of anxiety washed over me. What if this was all too good to be true? What if it all slipped away just as fast as it came? My heart clenched at the thought. I turned my head slightly, looking at Christopher. He must've sensed something because his laughter faded, and he turned toward me, his eyes locking with mine.
His gaze softened as he studied my face. "What's going on in that head of yours, Eve?" he asked, his voice low and gentle.
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on me. "I… I don't know, Cris. It's just… everything is happening so fast, and I'm scared." My voice wavered as I spoke, the fear lacing my words. "What if I lose everything? What if this is all just a dream? What if—" I stopped, unable to finish the sentence. The thought was too terrifying.
Christopher didn't respond right away. Instead, he shifted closer to me, taking my hands in his. His grip was firm, steadying. He brought my hands up to his lips and gently kissed them, his warm breath sending a shiver down my spine.
"Eve," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Don't be scared." He kissed my hands again, his lips lingering a little longer this time. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
I looked into his eyes, and for a moment, the fear subsided. His words wrapped around me like a blanket, comforting me, but the knot in my stomach didn't fully go away. "I know, Cris," I said, my voice soft. "But it's just… so much. I was in such a dark place not too long ago, and now, here I am. Everything feels like a dream. I'm just scared that I'll wake up, and it'll all be gone."
He squeezed my hands tighter, his eyes never leaving mine. "Eve, listen to me," he said, his voice filled with sincerity. "This is real. We are real. You're not going to lose anything. Not me, not us. You've been through hell, I know that. But you made it through, and now you deserve to be happy. We deserve to be happy." He paused, his thumb gently caressing the back of my hand. "And I'll be damned if I let anything take that away from us."
His words should've been enough to calm my racing heart, but the fear still lingered. I looked down at our intertwined hands, trying to steady my breath. "I can't believe we're getting married," I whispered, almost to myself.
Christopher smiled softly, tilting my chin up so that I was looking at him. "I can't imagine how godly beautiful you're going to look in your wedding gown," he said, his voice filled with awe. His eyes held mine, a warmth radiating from him that made my heart flutter.
I managed a small smile, but I couldn't shake the nervousness in my voice. "I can't believe it, Cris. I can't believe we're getting married," I repeated, this time louder. The fear was creeping back in, and I hated it. Why couldn't I just let myself be happy?
Christopher's expression softened. He leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. "Don't be scared," he whispered against my skin. "I'm right here. I'll always be right here."
The sincerity in his voice made my heart swell, and for a moment, I let myself believe him. I let myself believe that everything would be okay. I rested my head on his shoulder, taking comfort in his presence. The sun was setting now, casting a beautiful array of colors across the sky. It was a perfect moment, but my mind couldn't help but wander back to the what-ifs.
"What if something happens, Cris?" I asked softly, my voice barely audible.
He sighed, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me closer. "Nothing's going to happen, Eve," he said firmly. "We've got this. You and me. We're strong together. We'll face whatever comes our way, just like we always have." He kissed the top of my head, and I could feel the steady beat of his heart against my cheek.
I wanted to believe him. I really did. But the fear was still there, lurking in the back of my mind. What if something went wrong? What if I wasn't enough? What if this happiness was just a fleeting moment, and soon I'd be back in the darkness?
Christopher must've sensed my thoughts because he tilted my chin up again, forcing me to look at him. "Eve, stop overthinking," he said gently. "You've been through so much, and now it's time for you to let yourself be happy. You deserve this. We deserve this."
I nodded, trying to push the doubts away. "You're right," I whispered, though I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him or myself.
He smiled softly, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that I hadn't realized had fallen. "I know it's a lot to take in," he said, "but we're going to be okay. You're going to be okay."
I leaned into him, letting his words wash over me. He was right. I had been through so much, and now I had this incredible man by my side who loved me more than I could have ever imagined. I had to let go of the fear and embrace the happiness that was right in front of me.
As we sat there, watching the last rays of the sun disappear behind the mountains, I felt a sense of peace begin to settle over me. Maybe, just maybe, everything really would be okay.