When Zheng Nianru woke up, she was still the Commandery Princess of Nanzheng State.
Just a second before, a cold blade had pierced her chest, but that wasn't what caused her the most pain. What followed was the relentless stuffing of various elixirs and bizarre spells by Ju Nanyi that prevented her from dying but left her alive with torment so intense it felt like her heart was being gouged out. She would have rather died swiftly.
But how could Ju Nanyi let her die? After all the hardships she endured to elevate Ju Nanyi to a position second only to none, and knowing that she had intended to harm him, he certainly wouldn't want to. To him, watching her, his "wife" of many years, suffer agonizingly without any intervention must have been very satisfying.
Still, Zheng Nianru believed that Ju Nanyi inherently possessed a narrow-minded nature, regardless of the high position he held. He could only see sentimental family ties and trivial matters of the household.
After enduring agony akin to being burnt in fierce fires, Zheng Nianru was convinced she must have died.
Yet, upon awakening, the crisp and tender chirping of larks outside the window, the light gauze brushing over her shoulders and cheeks, and the uniquely warm, soft touch of the Dark Cloud Gauze made her wonder if she had only experienced a nightmare.
Zheng Nianru sat up, contemplating everything in front of her. Beyond the curtain, the nearly imperceptible, orderly footsteps were those of her former female servant who now respectfully waited with the washing utensils.
Those dust-covered memories surged forth in a familiar environment. This was her boudoir, the Qishun Building in the sub-hall of Xingqing Hall—Nanzheng State.
To call it a sub-hall was already quite generous. Xingqing Hall had a thousand doors open during the daytime and occupied a vast area. The Qishun Building, where she resided, was a secluded corner outside of those thousand doors, nearly squeezed out by the golden eaves of Xingqing Hall.
The Empress Dowager held the least regard for her, believing that her father, Prince Duan's revolt was incited by her mother. After giving birth to her, she was confined in this sub-hall for sixteen excruciating years.
"The Commandery Princess is awake—" The voice behind the curtain was authoritative and solemn, its deliberately modulated tone carried a pretense of fortitude, like the bristles of a porcupine standing on end.
Zheng Nianru gave a distracted smile, Nanny Yun, her wet nurse, and a loyal servant who had been with her since childhood.
"Commandery Princess—" The curtain was slowly lifted, gathering softly at the foot of the bed like a blooming flower.
Nanny Yun was dressed in a dusk-blue imperial robe, with a sky-blue trim from the neckline to the hem, and a light blue silk ribbon around her waist formed a five-petal lotus, with tassels of the same color hanging down firmly securing the skirt.
"Did the Commandery Princess have a nightmare?" Nanny Yun personally took the towel from the female servant's hand and carefully wiped the sweat from the princess's forehead. It seemed it was a nightmare, as the Commandery Princess was sweating profusely from her neck down her back.
Zheng Nianru turned her head and saw the same hairstyle on Nanny Yun, who always had a unique charm compared to others. Zheng Nianru faintly recalled her mother was a princess who came from the Nanmen State to marry into Nanzheng State, bringing only Nanny Yun with her. Nanny Yun had grown up with her mother and was her mother's most trusted companion. From then on, throughout her life, Nanny Yun devoted all her heart and energy to her.
"Attend to the Commandery Princess for washing—" Nanny Yun briskly gave orders to the female servant, then personally brought a box of pastries to her.
"Commandery Princess, these Blood Glutinous Hibiscus Cakes were sent by Prince Duan yesterday." Nanny Yun said somewhat sadly, as the Commandery Princess was snatched back to the palace by Empress Dowager Yan Ping right after being born, to be used as a pawn to balance against Prince Duan.
Zheng Nianru remembered, today was her birthday, her mother's memorial day. It was the only day her father would send the Blood Glutinous Cake, her mother's favorite pastry, and suddenly it all made sense. Nanny Yun, who usually favored bright clothes, was dressed quite modestly today.
Nian Ru was somewhat unaccustomed to this title. In the years that followed, she frequently heard herself referred to as "Empress Dowager," a designation she had become thoroughly accustomed to, whether it was presented with compliments, flattery, disdain, or sarcasm.
"Has Father sent anyone with a message today?" Nian Ru picked up a piece of Blood Glutinous Cake as her female servant carefully gathered her braided hair at the back of her head, fashioning it into an elegant and youthful updo.
Her father, Prince Duan- once the King of Nanzheng State's own brother, and the most prestigious prince, had been a crowd favorite for the role of Crown Prince. Yet, he fell for her mother, embroiled in a secret affair with his brother's woman, leading to a feud that turned the brothers into enemies; Prince Duan's attempt at rebellion failed, and he nearly became a prisoner.
Nian Ru was the consequence of that conflict; her birth became the shackle that imprisoned Prince Duan for life. As soon as she was born, she was taken to Xingqing Hall by Empress Dowager Yan Ping, ostensibly to be raised by her, but in reality, it was to tighten the noose around Prince Duan's neck, much like pulling the strings attached to the top of a puppet's head. For her, his father had given up his power and now, he had become the most ineffectual prince in Nanzheng State.
"Prince Duan sent Lin Zhi with a message early this morning; he's still waiting in the usual place," Nanny Yun said with a smile, glancing around, "The old nanny dealt with yesterday, we've checked her background thoroughly. She was a worker in the Cold Palace, probably just lost her way and wandered in." After ensuring that the surrounding female servants were reliably discrete as always, she whispered.
Nian Ru nodded, irrespective of the background, whether it was intentional or accidental, none of these mattered anymore; compared to her later ruthlessness and brutality, these were insignificant.
"Commandery Princess, our carriage is by the East Side Gate of the Crown Prince's Mansion," Nanny Yun suddenly added, "Commandery Princess, we should find an opportunity to discuss this matter with the Crown Prince. The Empress Dowager might not tolerate us any longer."
Nian Ru blinked, ah, she remembered now- it was her mother's death anniversary, and to be able to leave the palace, she had early requested the Crown Prince open the East Side Gate of the Crown Prince's Mansion, leaving from the secluded back door of Qishun Building, leading straight into the mansion.
Qishun Building was so secluded that even older palace maids barely recognized it, yet it was only a wall away from the neighboring Crown Prince's Mansion.
"There's no rush for this matter," Nian Ru said calmly, choosing a Gold Thread Wound Peach Blossom hairpin with Fu Dong's help. The same design in her peach blossom earrings suited a young girl's tender and vibrant age. In the mirror, her youthful face looked both familiar and distant, and in the fading memories, there was the Crown Prince, who had once filled all her memories.
Nian Ru had thought more than once, if it hadn't been the Crown Prince who had saved her from the Ice Lake, if someone else in the palace could have protected her all these years, would that have spared her the exhausting decades to come? Then perhaps she wouldn't have betrayed him and taken his throne- or at least, not with such guilt.
Indeed, did she have a choice? If she remembered correctly, at this moment, she was in a state half alive and half dead, struggling to survive without regard for dignity, unmindful of the means being noble or base.
"Commandery Princess—" Nanny Yun felt that today's commandery princess was a bit odd, yet she couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was.
Nian Ru gathered her thoughts, and the female servant unfolded a series of garments shimmering with light, all in the latest fashion of Nanzheng State. Nian Ru pointed to the second piece, a light pink silk gauze with golden embroidery of butterflies on the upper garment and a smoke-grey gauze covering jacket suppressing the lightness of pink, with intricately embroidered butterflies on the collar and chest, lifelike and diverse.
Even if she lived another twenty years, Nian Ru felt her taste at this moment was exceptional, each piece created by the most skilled embroidery girls. They even destroyed and remade one just because a butterfly didn't meet her expectations. It took three attempts before it caught her eye.
"Commandery Princess, please start your morning meal," Nanny Yun said, looking at the princess as delicate as a blooming flower, a touch of solace arising from within. Logically, today being the Princess Consort's death anniversary, the commandery princess should wear plainer clothes; however, the prince rarely saw his daughter, although recently, due to the Crown Prince, their meetings had increased, but her desire to please Prince Duan couldn't be mistaken.
Yet, Nian Ru knew this outfit was worn to reassure Prince Duan and more so for the Crown Prince to see.
Indeed, it was only under her training that the embroidery girls in the Crown Prince's Mansion could achieve such fine work.