As the door closed behind Sebastian, the cold and dampness of the basement seeped into my bones.
The small mat on the ground was the only comfort in this stark cell. I sat down, drawing my knees to my chest, and tried to keep this damn stomach from acting down.
"Sigh….."
I couldn't help but sigh, remembering the faces of Father and Mother. I closed my eyes, trying to push away the memories, but they kept resurfacing like a relentless tide.
"….Not letting me go, aren't you."
Their expressions were understandable. I could understand why they had such faces. The situation our family was now in must look like a hard tide.
But it still hurt. Seeing such faces from the people who once looked at me with warmth and love. It was as if a knot appeared right in my heart, tightening with each thought.
After all, it is not like I am a machine. And this week, things have been a lot more hectic. Not even a minute of sleep had passed without nightmares.
The food I had eaten was stone hard and was not for my stomach. After all the time that I had eaten the food of nobles, how could I easily adapt?
The cold floor was unfamiliar as well. This was the first time I had experienced all those things at the same time.
The sense of cold, the sense of feeling like my body was out of power. They were all first. Even now, I feel like I don't even have the strength to move around my body.
'No, Lucavion, don't. Don't give up.'
However, I still must not stop right now. If everything is explained, I am sure someone will understand at least.
If that happens, maybe things can be solved.
'Isn't that right, Goddess Veridion?'
I clasped my hands together. After all, this world. Wasn't there justice here? I didn't do anything wrong. Wouldn't it be god's job to ensure fairness? Is it wrong for me to believe?
CREAK!
As if to let me give the opportunity, the door opened, and someone entered. The presence, the steps taken, everything felt familiar. The scent and other things.
I looked up, and the person revealed herself. It was my mother, Eleanor Thorne, with her hands clasped on her dress. Her expression was as stern as before, but there was a hint of something else in her eyes—something that gave me a glimmer of hope.
"Mother," I whispered, my voice barely audible.
She stepped closer, her eyes never leaving mine. For a moment, the stern mask she wore seemed to falter, and I saw a flicker of the gentleness I remembered from my childhood.
"Lucavion," she said softly, her voice steady but tinged with sadness. "I came to see you."
"..."
At first, I couldn't open my mouth since it had been a while.
It had been a while since someone treated me like normal.
At least now, after all that time, I could see someone familiar. Now, that was the expression of the mother I know.
"Speak."
She looked into my eyes.
I knew I would hardly have such a chance ever again.
I struggled to my feet, my body protesting with every movement. "Mother, please, you have to believe me. I didn't do anything wrong. I don't know how I ended up in this situation, but I swear I am innocent."
She looked at me, her eyes searching my face for a long moment. Yet she didn't say anything, as if to let me explain.
"Mother, it was Isolde. I overheard her talking about it. She planned everything. She and Adrian—" I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "They orchestrated the entire thing. I was set up. I would never do anything to bring shame to our family. You know me, Mother. You know I would never—"
She remained silent, her eyes locked onto mine, absorbing every word I said. I could feel the desperation in my voice, the need for her to believe me, to understand that I was telling the truth.
For the first time in a long while, I could finally open up to someone. Finally, speak to someone to make them understand.
I felt like a dam burst open inside me as if everything I had been holding in finally spilled.
"I overheard Isolde talking about how they needed to get rid of me and how this was the only way to secure their positions. She wanted to bring Elara down, to take everything for herself. I'm not lying, Mother. I'm telling you the truth. Please, you have to believe me."
"I would never do anything to harm our family. You have to know that. I don't know why this is happening, but I swear to you, I'm inno-"
Just as I was about to speak further, suddenly, she raised her hand. "Stop." The voice that left her mouth was cold.
SHIVER!
And I shivered.
Since I can remember.
I felt afraid to raise my head and see the expression on that face.
But I knew I had to.
And as I raised, I saw it.
The look of disappointment.
"After everything that has happened, how can you still blame an innocent young girl? After everything you have done, how can you stand here and accuse her?"
I blinked, taken aback by her words.
"Wh-"
"No, Lucavion," she interrupted her voice firm. "It is you who doesn't understand. Isolde is a frail, sickly girl who has been nothing but kind and gentle. To accuse her of such treachery is beyond reprehensible. I came here hoping to hear remorse, to see some sign of repentance, but instead, you spin wild tales and point fingers."
"Bu-" I tried to protest, but she held up a hand to silence me.
"Enough," she said sharply. "You will have your chance to speak at the trial. For now, I suggest you reflect on your actions and consider the gravity of your situation. This is your last chance to show some honor and take responsibility."
"Why don't you believe me?" I asked, my voice trembling.
She looked deep into my eyes, her gaze piercing through me. "Nobody ever believes the words of a disappointment."
The moment I heard this, my eyes widened. It felt like the world started spinning. My vision blurred, most likely from the tears that my eyes were releasing. It was hard to breathe, let alone say anything. I just lowered my head, looking down.
"Mother..."
But there was no response. The sound of her footsteps echoed as she turned and walked away, leaving me alone in the cold, damp cell. The door closed behind her with a resounding thud, sealing my fate once more.
The tears flowed freely now, hot and unchecked, mingling with the dust and dirt on the floor. The words she had spoken echoed in my mind, a cruel reminder of how I had been perceived.
"Nobody ever believes the words of a disappointment."
That same phrase repeated constantly, not letting me hear anything.
The disappointment of my family, the betrayal of my fiancée, and the looming trial—all of it pressed down on me, suffocating any remaining hope.
I curled up on the small mat, trying to find some semblance of comfort in the harsh reality of my situation.
'Is this it? After everything? Just to hear those words?'
When faced with such words, what would a normal person think? Would they think of what they have done for the things they did?
I am not sure.
But I do, at least.
The things that I did when I was a child.
The amount of time I had spent trying to perfect my mana.
'These hands…'
Even now, there are many calluses on my hands. All of them stemming from the training.
DRIP!
I heard something dripping on the ground.
It was probably my tears.
DRIP! DRIP! DRIP!
Yet it continued to drop, one by one.
Drop by drop.
After a while, I felt like the thing that was dropping was not tears, as they became dry at some point. And it was also hard to breathe from my nose. As I opened my eyes, I realized the thing that was dropping down was not my tears but instead was blood.
It was my nose bleeding.
The sight of the blood made my head start spinning, and then my body fell to the side. The world grew darker and darker until there was nothing but blackness.
Yet, in the darkness, I felt like I had seen a figure appearing.
"Y…..ng...M…..st...L…..c…..io..."
It felt like they were speaking, but I couldn't understand it.
'Not that it matters…..Right…..Can I finally rest a little now….'
I wanted to forget everything, not remember any of these events happening. But was that possible?
Most likely, it wouldn't.
After all, I am sure those moments will still haunt me, even in my sleep.
But, still, is there something wrong with wanting a little bit of a piece?
'I hope not.'
With that, I closed my eyes.
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