Chapter 99 - Anna's Inner God
"It was the night I was drugged at the inn..."
Anna stared into the fire, resting her head on her knees. That situation had been tense for her too.
"I had gone downstairs for dinner. I was feeling strange; earlier that day, I had been resting in bed. It was hard to get up, almost as if the bed had sapped my will to move. All I felt while lying there was an overwhelming sense of exhaustion, telling me that I would be fine if I just slept. It was as if the bed was alive, holding me down. My mind was fading, wanting to relax; my mind wanted to stay there, peaceful. The temptation to stay in bed was too strong for me to get up. I felt so good just lying there, doing nothing. I was giving in to that comfort... but I wanted to get up. It was as if a small part of me was uneasy. Maybe it's because I have healing powers? Maybe... perhaps I have some slight resistance? I don't know, but something inside me just gave me a little nudge to get out of bed."
She sighed and paused for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she continued speaking.
"After that, I went to Luke's room to see if he... was okay. Since Alice was asleep, I wanted to check if it was just me who felt something off. I talked to him and saw he was fine, so I figured it was just me. Then I went downstairs for dinner."
Anna gazed into the flames with distant eyes.
"When I walked down the stairs, I was surprised to see the woman at the reception. She was smiling, but I could see her eyes watching and reading me. Her head turned as I walked toward the inn's dining room. When I sat at the table, the voice of a child... a boy came from the hallway. He said, 'Dinner will be ready soon.' When I heard that, I just nodded and waited. A few minutes later, the woman came with a smile, but I could see fear in her eyes. She said, 'Forgive my son, he's a bit impatient.' I smiled and told her it was fine; I even said I could see him later to play with him. Since I have younger siblings, I know that children can get a bit excited when they see new people. The woman smiled at me while I ate, then she said to me... in a strange voice, an old voice... like she was an old woman with a worn-out throat, 'He also wants to play with you.'"
Alice and Luke remained silent.
"It was very strange. I was eating, and she just stood there, staring at me. I... was too embarrassed to ask her to stop. But she kept staring at me as I ate, so I just sped up to finish and get out of there. But then, a drowsiness came over me, and my vision started to darken. Eventually, I just rested my head and closed my eyes. But I didn't sleep... I didn't have the strength to do anything, but I was still trying to stay awake. A warm breath reached my ears, and I could feel as if a horse or some other animal was huffing and staring at me. I felt that animal standing right there, its face close to my head... a coldness took over the room, and a sadness settled in. I heard many footsteps, as if many people were arriving in the room. There were several steps that stopped around me, I could tell by the sound of them walking and then stopping in a circle around me."
She pressed her head a bit harder against her knees.
"Suddenly, everything went silent, but I knew they were still there... just standing, watching me. I could hear their irregular breathing... I couldn't open my eyes or move, but even so, the fear was so overwhelming that I wanted to stay as still as possible, hoping my existence would be forgotten. I didn't dare do anything, not even think. Low voices began whispering in another language. Then I realized I was facing the Whispers. The fear inside me grew, but I couldn't do anything. Then, laughter echoed, and it didn't stop. They kept mocking me. They seemed to understand the exact moment I realized my situation. Only one thought came to my mind: 'I'm going to die.'"
She took a breath.
"Then the woman said, 'Dinner is almost ready'... repeating the exact words that the boy's voice had said from the hallway. In that moment, I understood... I understood everything: I was the dinner to be served, and the boy... he was impatient with me. After that, my mind finally let go, and I accepted death. I thought a little about my father, my mother... my two annoying younger brothers... my baby brother. I made sure to picture them in my mind before finally accepting that I was going to die... and then I slept... I slept with the certainty that I would never open my eyes again."
Luke could see tears rolling down Anna's cheeks.
"In the darkness of my mind... as I felt I was about to die, a gentle voice appeared and said, 'It's okay, Anna.' As soon as I heard that, the darkness I was in faded away. I was in a different place, somewhere strangely comforting. In that place, I felt such a warm sense of security, I can't even explain the feeling. Standing in a cozy room was a very beautiful woman, sitting at a wooden table eating cake. When she saw me, she gave me a charming smile and patted her lap, inviting me to sit with her. As I took a step, I realized that I was small... not like this, Luke. I was really small... I was a child again. I looked at my hands, which were even smaller than they are now, and I felt confused. She said to me, 'You'll always be a little girl to me, no matter how old you get... come here, sweetheart.' Her voice was so gentle, like a stream in a beautiful place. I walked towards her, enchanted by how beautiful she was. Her hair was like mine, but darker. On her back, I could see two wings that retracted a bit when she noticed I was staring. She wore a white dress with golden details, a style of dress I had never seen before. She also had gold accessories, but they were so bright... I had never seen anything as radiant as that gold. When I got closer, she picked me up and placed me on her lap. She kissed my head and kept telling me that everything would be okay. She stroked my hair, even played with my fingers. She gave me some cake and hugged me, warming me, making me feel so loved. She talked to me for a while; I told her about my fears, my worries... I told her that I wanted to go home and see my family. I told her I was so scared of dying and never seeing them again. She listened patiently, all the while holding me close. She told me everything would be okay, to be strong, to be a good girl for my parents... to be a little less harsh with my brothers... and to take care of my baby brother. She praised how strong I was becoming and told me that I had made good friends. She said that having a true friendship in the world is rare, that the word 'friend' shouldn't be given to just anyone... then a drowsiness came over me, and I woke up. Safe, far from that terrifying place in the inn."
Anna took a bite of the fish.
"I felt so silly for not recognizing that it was my own Inner Goddess. It was the same gentle woman who had been with me during my initiation. But I think she did it on purpose, not letting my mind process that it was her. I think she wanted to talk to me as a friend, not as a Goddess... that's how I understood it."