Maturing is realizing is that I was never had fun in my life.My parents ask me if I am happy at school or with friends.Well guess what not really because I never felt happiness with them. It's just my feeling that didn't let me I always wanted to help someone but when I help someone with a little bit of problem. They look at me and say "You are annoying ". Or when I am try to find my self happiness they call "your smile disgusted me, get out of our face " well that type of complaint make me sad and break my heart. I want to cry but I can't. cause if I cry here I might get attention and they will complain me more. So I never help someone or love someone. I swear myself that I will never give attention to anyone and I will stay myself like those mob character like everyone else. Now I am 22 years old now. And I am jobless and no money. Because I am socially awkward and never been to talk to anyone lately. Whenever I open my eyes I see my fans up on the wall the swinging like fast. It make me "wanna kill myself" because why am I like this well either way I might die sooner or later. Then I wake up and brush my teeth and washed my face off and eat my breakfast I tell myself this time "I am gonna get a job and make friends "that is my today's goals. As I walk outside the sun is fucking hot it makes me puke and I go around and find jobs. Still no they reject me bcs I only talk less. Fuck bcs I don't want to stay talk less either so I sigh and get a water and supermarket and find job again. I keep finding jobs but still I can't get any and didn't realize it's already noon. "Sigh" I need to get home. And then I go to home. I cook the noodle I have left and eat it. Well it was the taste of wanted to kill myself so I didn't really care. And so I was searching through social meadia finding about jobs. As I was searching I got a notification " it said want to play a games " well first I thought it was some ads so I cancel it. Then I stood up and clean myself and go to bed.As I almost fall asleep I noticed that my phone notification got ring again. This it still say "want to play a game?," well, I don't know what to do anymore and I accepted it. Well it didn't go well. As I woke up at tmr, my phone got virus and black screened so it make life more worse. Then suddenly there was a knock. I peep through the hole and saw two men standing with black suits and wearing a mask.So I thought it was some dudes showing of their company brands. As I open the door,and ask "How can I help you"they asked me "Are you James Oliver"they asked. And so I answered "yes,I am James Oliver "" what seems to be a problem" I asked and they watch each other and they rush at me and one pull me and another one put vaccines on me I don't know what that vaccine was but it makes my body dead. Well I feel like dead but it doesn't hurt. As I was almost fell asleep they look at me and tell me "good night".
When I wake up I saw many people lying near I thought they were dead but no they were just sleeping. And when I look up it looks like I am in a room with full of people I don't know. And I saw there were 5 people from the up window I really see what were they look like they were wearing masks and they were discussing something. I said to myself "what the hell am I get into?"