Blood Pill Great Medicine.
Hearing these words and the mysterious voice's prediction, An Jing felt his breathing become somewhat rapid, his vision blurry, and his once steady steps falter, his lips bitten so hard they bled.
Then, he laughed.
"Ha, haha... Is this what the Vice Envoy of Medicine wanted me to see?"
An Jing murmured to himself as he raised his head, surveying the dozens of 'medicinal vats'.
The numbers don't match. Perhaps not all the eliminated become 'medicine', with a considerable number becoming riders and servants, but... is there any essential difference?
"Manor Master, oh Manor Master…"
An Jing instead calmed down, "What do you think my reaction would be?"
"Indifference? Anger? Hatred? Or... fear?"
He searched his soul, then found an answer.
——Of course it's fear, An Jing. Do you think you have no fear?
——Have you not overlooked those possibilities, for the sake of survival, to avoid suspicion, living in feigned ignorance? Have you not pretended not to see those clues, unconsciously averting your gaze?
——You comfort yourself, saying that those people might not die. You are different from them, you are a genius, even if you are truly consumed, it definitely won't be you who's eaten. You are the one who feasts heartily, you are a class above them.
——As long as you are still frightened, as long as you fear death, you will gradually degrade, persuading yourself.
——The Demon Sect has already seen through you, it doesn't matter whether you are affectionate and righteous, or heartless and ruthless. As long as you're afraid, they are not.
"I... am not afraid of death!"
Taking a deep breath, An Jing intended to argue back, but he suddenly felt a chill.
Because just now, he had understood — he himself might indeed not fear death, but he feared much more the death of those around him.
Like a man who can face his own sacrifice without fear, but when he thinks of the elderly parents at home, of family and relatives, of close friends and acquaintances, he hesitates.
It's not for lack of courage, but for having a soft spot.
Within Hanging Fate Manor, he still has two friends who are alive, Gu Yeqi and Cang Linzu are still breathing. Besides, there are more than a hundred children who call him Eldest Senior.
He cannot act rashly.
If he were a heartless True Demon Leader, already covertly transformed by the Demon Sect, then he wouldn't rebel against this scene before him; rather, he would choose to integrate with them, to become one of them, to become the person who could decide 'who to sacrifice'.
To become the next Master of the Medicine Manor, or even the higher-ranking Northern Patrol Envoy.
If, however, he were a kind person of deep feelings, even upon discovering all this, he still wouldn't turn against the Demon Sect for the sake of his two living friends. Not to mention, the Demon Sect ultimately provided the medicine that saved his mother; if he were truly a purely good person, he would be timid and hesitant due to this 'debt of gratitude', choosing to become a member of the Demon Sect.
Ultimately assimilated.
He cannot have it both ways, to have his friends safe and sound and to rebel against the Demon Sect.
He cannot be ungrateful, nor unfaithful to his friends, and certainly not untrue to his heart.
Because he who wants it all is either the most foolish of the common, or a monster that transcends all rationale.
He is neither.
And the saddest part is that An Jing discovered something.
"My thinking has truly begun to slowly twist towards that of the Demon Sect... I really believe it's just some children who should have died in natural disasters, given a lifeline by the Demon Sect, and should not complain if they die after being eliminated, after all, the Demon Sect allowed them to live a while longer, took good care of them for a time."
"But even so, even if their lives were bought by others, when faced with death, can they not resist?"
He gazed at the skull: "I..."
——What should I do?
[Young man, steady your mind]
The mysterious voice spoke, "This is what the Demon Sect wants—when consumed by great sorrow and great anger, and your mind wavers, your heart will make choices that you simply cannot on ordinary days."
"I understand," An Jing replied.
He took a deep look at the skull, scraped clean to a snow-white finish, and reached out to wipe his face.
It was the feel of rain, mixed with the taste of tears.
He replaced the stone lid and shifted his now clear vision away from the water vat courtyard: "I understand better than anyone."
"What do you plan to do now?"
The mysterious voice spoke, "Do you plan to flee, or to seek revenge? Or perhaps..."
"Do you intend to ignore these people who have nothing to do with you and continue to be the Eldest Senior here?"
An Jing closed his eyes. He thought of the refugees, of the flesh and blood that was cooked, of the children who were eaten.
He had wanted to believe that there really was a group of people in this world willing to pay the price to teach children, to instruct them in martial arts, to train and then to become one of them. That was his ideal of a Martial Arts sect.
He had such illusions, hoping that the world would be that simple and peaceful, that he could be at ease, be the Eldest Senior, gradually let go, and in the end fight for the Hanging Fate Manor.
But all illusions had shattered.
At this moment, what An Jing felt in his heart was not a blazing fury, but a cold, bone-chilling realization that made him shiver.
—So, is it that no matter where one is, they can be eaten?
—To not be eaten, does one have to consume others?
This world, this land under the heavens…
I…
Will not be as you wish!
When he opened his eyes again, the brightness had returned to An Jing's eyes.
Within those eyes, tiny flames ignited: "I once told my mother, if evil demons purchase my life, I would seek an opportunity to escape, never to associate with them in corruption."
"But now, I need to do more, I want it all."
"I want to escape with my companions."
"I don't want to eat people, nor do I want to be eaten! Whenever I see it, I will surely resist!"
He almost ground his teeth: "Even if it's impossible, I will try, even if it means death."
—Like a rabbit whose life has already been purchased, like a crab trapped in a cage, I too would kick them, pinch them!
"Very good,"
That voice, crisp and sonorous, laughing like the sound of a sword, with the taste of iron warriors: "I indeed did not misjudge you."
"These minions of the Demon Sect think they have you in their grasp, that you cannot escape their palm, so they let you do as you will—they are mistaken, because I am here, because they have not seen through your true nature."
"An Jing, your thinking is indeed not wrong, to want both, it's either the most foolish of fools or a monster surpassing all logic, and although you are a true genius, you are not a monster that can surpass it all."
"But I will give you a chance to become a monster that surpasses all logic. However, whether you can succeed in the end, it's all up to you."
"Now, first suppress the demonic thoughts in your heart, I will impart to you a Thought Preservation Technique, which is the foundation of all Dharma Gates..."
Before the voice even ceased, a Verse of Instruction and the Thought Preservation Technique entered An Jing's mind.
"The spirit is born from the way, and the way is tranquil, hence the spirit is of innate tranquility..."
"The spirit is like a mirror, if it's dull, polish it with thought and it shall shine. The spirit is like water, if it's disturbed and murky, settle it with the mind and it shall become clear. The spirit is like a sword, if it rusts, sharpen it with conviction and it will become sharp, this is what it means to be pure and lucid..."
Tranquil Sword Manual