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The Heavily Armed Exorcist in America

Flying Milk
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Synopsis
Traditional exorcism: holy water, a priest's useless babble, and the need to know the demon's true name—it's just too much hassle. The innovated exorcism: ["You demon spawn, eat my laser weapon!"] ["Flagship, do you see that demon?"] ["Main star-annihilating cannon, charge up!"] ["Fire the cannon, and let it blast the hell out of them!"] "Oh? Who said all Exorcists were pushovers?"]
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1 The Radiance Superbrain

"What... what is this place?" Chen Yu opened his eyes in bewilderment, looking around with confusion.

Just moments before, he had been calmly accepting his death on the battlefield, and the next, he suddenly found himself in this unfamiliar place.

The dim alley was filled with an unknown scent of burnt herbs in the air, and the pitter-patter of light rain fell on Chen Yu, making him shiver subconsciously.

[Radiance has detected an excessive amount of THC residue in your body, diminished function of multiple organs, slight atrophy of brain tissue, slight muscle wastage, and a 41% chance of heart stoppage.]

A cold voice suddenly echoed in Chen Yu's mind, causing him to pause for a moment.

This voice seemed to be...

"Radiance super-brain?" Chen Yu asked in his mind.

[Captain Chen Yu, Radiance at your service.]

Upon hearing this, Chen Yu couldn't help but cough a few times. He slowly got up off the ground, using the wall for support. Just these few movements made him feel dizzy and even gave him a sense of impending death.

Chen Yu frowned and looked down at his hands: pale skin, bulging veins, almost skin and bones.

There was also a lingering taste of greasy lard in his mouth.

This wasn't his body; his body wasn't this worn out.

"Radiance, scan the surrounding space and find a way to leave the illusion." Chen Yu coughed twice, damn demons—had they trapped him in an illusion?

Did they think they could keep him contained like this? Once he got out, he swore to shove the Super Magnetic Rifle into the mouth of that demon and saw the bastard in half!

[Radiance has not detected any abnormal energy fluctuations and cannot establish contact with the main ship. Initiating automatic acquisition of local intelligence.]

Chen Yu slightly raised his eyebrows; no abnormal energy fluctuations? Could it be a Duke-level demon dealing with him personally? Was it necessary?

[Radiance has detected a primary internet connection, attempting to break through to acquire intelligence, parsing language, a large amount of intelligence has been gathered.]

[Radiance reports your current location is in the Milky Way galaxy - Solar System - Blue Planet - America - New York's Flushing district, the time is....]

Hearing Radiance's update, Chen Yu was completely stunned. Ignoring the weakness of his body, he quickly leaned on the wall and made his way to the street, where he saw the long-missed city streets, streetlights along the curb, and the English on the road signs...

Have I traveled back in time?

This was the only thought in Chen Yu's mind.

In the past, he was just an ordinary salaryman on Blue Planet, enjoying the "blessings" of a 996 work schedule, until one day he died suddenly from overwork, and the next thing he knew, he found himself in another world.

A universe occupied by demons, for which he joined the Radiant Federation, formed by humans and other aliens, and became a demon hunting soldier, and then clawed his way up to the rank of captain.

And now, after being ambushed by demons during a mission, unexpectedly, he had traveled back?

Moreover, it seemed he had gone back a lot earlier in time, back to when the first iPhone was released.

"This is really interesting... cough, cough..." Chen Yu couldn't help coughing again, feeling an itch in his throat.

He hadn't expected that such a strange escort mission would lead to an ambush by demons. He had thought he would die under their assault, but instead, he had unexpectedly traveled back in time.

But what was that black light he had seen before? What on earth was he escorting?

"Cough, cough, cough... This body is in rough shape..." Chen Yu couldn't help but break into a violent coughing fit, feeling as if he was about to cough out his lungs.

Poison addict, it seems the body he had crossed into was once that of an addict, which was really too bad. Although Chen Yu was aware that in this state known as the beacon of freedom, having addicts wasn't something unusual.

But he never thought he'd be an addict himself.

"Radiance, check if there's a way to fix the current problems with my body." Chen Yu coughed again and couldn't help but hug his arms and rub them together.

It was too cold, and moreover, it was night. If he kept this up, to freeze to death on the streets would be downright laughable.

[Common item storage lost, military item storage lost, medical item storage lost, Radiance is searching for a solution, please wait.]

Chen Yu had made his way to the entrance of a shop by now. His reflection was cast on the glass, allowing him to finally see his own appearance.

"Hmm... It's not that different from when I was on Blue Star, just too skinny, obviously up to no good," Chen Yu touched his face.

The good news was, his face and height were the same as before—did he cross into a parallel version of himself?

Then how had his Super Brain come back with him?

The bad news was that he had no idea who this body belonged to and had none of the body's memories.

But judging by the shabbiness of the clothes, he might be a homeless man, yet where would a homeless man get the money to buy an excessive amount of marijuana?

That stuff isn't cheap.

[All storages lost, unable to... unable to resol...zzzzt]

A wave of dizziness spread from Chen Yu's mind, causing him pain as he clutched his head. What was happening? Was there a problem with his Radiance Super Brain?

The next moment, Chen Yu fainted to the ground, and in the cold rainy night, his head began to emit heat, quickly evaporating the rainwater that fell upon it.

When Chen Yu opened his eyes once more, dawn hadn't broken yet, but he felt the weakness in his body had lessened somewhat.

[Captain Chen Yu, Radiance at your service]

A familiar voice.

"Radiance, what just happened?" Chen Yu struggled to understand as he picked himself up from the ground, uncertain of how long he had been unconscious.

[Radiance has loaded a new function chip, generating high temperatures during the process, which caused the captain to faint. Backup energy is low, please provide an energy supply as soon as possible.]

Chen Yu rubbed his face, wondering how he could have acquired this new function chip if he was unable to contact the mothership.

Just as he was about to inquire more about the situation, a car suddenly drove up and stopped next to Chen Yu.

Chen Yu watched the car warily—it wasn't some pharmaceutical company, was it?

The car door opened, and two muscular black men jumped out. They wore trench coats with a conspicuous tattoo on their necks.

"Fuckin' bastard! Took our Blood Gang's stuff and thought you could run?" The two black men cursed as they closed in, and one of them threw a punch. Chen Yu instinctively tried to retaliate, but the body was too frail to keep up with his reaction.

"I had no plans to run," Chen Yu wiped the fresh blood from the corner of his mouth and then turned to look at the two black men in front of him.

[Template has loaded, plane wormhole function activated, please inject demonic energy.]