Thursday, 12th July 2018
12:32 PM
There was darkness at every angle. Each of the five senses didn't exist here. It was just the darkness. Ashley didn't exist anymore and it was lonely here but at the same time it was peaceful. No expectations, no people, no responsibilities. But Ashley wasn't here to stay long. Her potential had only just begun.
There was a sudden gasp that echoed in the air surrounding Ashely from all directions.
It was Ashley's own voice, but how? What happened to the darkness and the peace? The moment Ashley felt capable, she forced her eyes open. It was too bright to comprehend anything. With each second that went by, her senses were returning.
Ashley opened her eyes for the second time and was shocked by what she saw. A girl stood before her. One with blonde hair, freckles and blue eyes. It was her. She was staring into a mirror. There was the sink, the cubicles, the blue tiled floor. But, this doesn't make any sense… where was the bus? The water? The other students? Ashley began to be aware of her breathing. It felt relieving to draw air into her lungs. Her throat no longer burned and her vision had returned to normal. What the hell had just happened? The driver of the bus must have swerved to miss the car but in doing so, it broke the bridge barrier and landed into the water. It sunk so quickly. Did she die? Was this some weird afterlife scenario? Only then did Ashley realize she was holding something in her left hand. She looked down to notice she was clutching the orange pill container firmly. What?
'You should expect the following symptoms; tiredness, dizziness, mild confusion and nausea.' the doctor's words surfaced in her mind.
Mild confusion? That was not "mild confusion". That was an extremely severe hallucination, or something like that. Ashley tipped one of the blue pills into her hand and paused for a second before tipping two more. Well, one didn't seem to work. Maybe three will keep it at bay. Ashley wondered who she could tell about the experience she'd just endured. Mum was out of the equation, her depression seemed to be winning the battle lately. Ashley knew it was because of her father's death. Ashley's brother Dylan could potentially be a reliable person to confined in. Last to consider, were Ashley's only friends Sam and Nathan.
The sound of the bell rung loudly. Loud enough to snap Ashley from her deep thoughts.
'Now don't forget, the assignment is due by Friday, no late submissions.' Mr. Maple said.
Ashley felt a severe case of déjà vu envelope her. Hadn't he said that exact same sentence one before? Ashley couldn't get that "hallucination" out of her head. It just felt too real. The burning sensation of the water going down her throat. Her vision darkening. The acceptance of death.
'World to Ashley?' Mr. Maple clicked his fingers Infront of Ashley's face. 'Lunch time.'
His clicking startled Ashley. She looked up at him with the best casual smile she could conjure in this present moment. She wanted to avoid explaining to him what had happened to her. Not that she really knew how to begin explaining.
The moment Ashley sat down at one of the cafeteria tables Sam threw her a worrying look.
'You okay Ash?' He said.
'Yeah, I'm all good, just feeling a little-'
Ashley was still sitting on the fence about telling the two of them.
'You had the vaccine today didn't you?' Sam asked.
'Yeah, I did.' Ashley nodded. 'I thought I already told you that.'
'That must be why you look like complete shit.' Nathan laughed, ignoring her statement.
'What do you mean?' She began feeling self-conscious.
'You're all pale and sweaty.' Nathan said.
'Did it hurt?' Sam questioned.
Ashley was only half listening to her friends. How could she pay attention when she just hallucinated her own death?
'Because mine hurt like a bitch.' Sam exclaimed.
Ashley snapped her head toward Sam. That's what he said in her hallucination.
'So, what do you guys want to do this weekend?' Nathan asked.
As was that…
'Hey Sam?' Ash said shakily. 'Did you experience any side effects?'
'Sure, I felt a little dizzy, but that was all. Why? Are you?'
Screw it, someone needs to know and who better than them?
'Yeah I am. Guys…' Ashley leaned in and lowered her voice. 'I saw my own death.'
The two of them glanced at each other with puzzled expressions before resting their gaze on Ashley.
'What do you mean?' Nathan asked.
How could she explain without sounding like a complete mental case?
'I mean, I saw the school bus crash into the river. I was on it. I was stuck inside and I drowned. The water tasted of mud and it hurt when I tried to breathe.' Her words were coming across as a shaky whisper.
Nathan laughed loudly. 'Man, you are tripping hardcore!'
Sam didn't laugh. He looked sincerely concerned for Ashley's wellbeing.
'It's not funny.' Ash spat. 'I died.'
Sam grabbed hold of her hand dragging her attention away from Nathan and onto him.
'Look,' Sam said calmly 'that wasn't real, it's just the confusion that the doctor mentioned. I think you need to see the school nurse.'
Ashley knew he was right but she couldn't shake the idea of what it might feel like to die. She knew that whatever she said, the two of them would never believe that she actually did die and had somehow come back to life. So she decided to drop it and go about her day as though the hallucination never happened.
With a deep level of sadness, Ashley said 'You're right. It wasn't real but I'll be okay. I don't need to see the nurse.'
The end of the day was approaching slowly and Ashley stood by the bus bay wondering whether to get on the bus or not. It's just the confusion, Ash kept repeating in her head as she tried to calm her panicking mind. Her stomach churned, she was sweaty and her mouth was dry. This is madness.
The moment that familiar white school bus made its way into Ashley's sight, her feelings only amplified. She thought she could literally feel no worse. Stop! You're being ridiculous. The bus pulled into the bay and the door opened with a quiet 'pshh'. Ashley swallowed hard and boarded the bus, shakily, took her seat at the end of the bus and tried to appear calm. That wasn't going so well, numerous students were giving her sideways glances.
'What about this one?' a squeaky voice questioned.
Ashley's attention snapped forwards. She looked ahead at brunette girl, Jewels, who was showing Cindy her phone.
No.
Cindy turned her head and looked at the screen.
'No, look, That chunk of hair isn't tucked behind my ear.'
'Oh, yeah, of course, you're right.' Jewels stuttered.
No. Ashley knew what would happen next so she directed her gaze to the couple of boys laughing. The one with the blonde hair, stuck a piece of gum under the seat.
'NO!' Ashley screamed.
Everyone on the bus, jerked their heads and stared at Ashley in shock. Heat rushed to Ashley's face, turning it red. She left her schoolbag behind and rushed down the aisle.
'STOP THE BUS!' she repeated three times.
The driver pulled over with the same shocked expression everyone else had.
'What is it?' he asked abruptly, as though she were an inconvenience.
'Let me off.' Ashley begged. 'Please!'
She could hear other students whispering and laughing at her. They were muttering things like "freak" and "mental case". Usually that would have made her self-conscious, but right now, that seemed to be the last of her worries. Maybe if she got off now she would live. Maybe everyone else would live too.
The driver opened the door with that same 'pshh'. That sound. That wonderful, beautiful sound that set Ashley free. She stumbled off the bus and inhaled the fresh air then exhaled feeling instantly better. She didn't know whether that bus was really going to crash or not but she decided walking home was the safest option. Only now did she remember her schoolbag which had her phone inside. Damn it. Hopefully someone would put it in the school's lost and found. The bus door shut and it pulled out onto the road, gave way to a red ford and headed toward that nightmare of a bridge. Maybe Ashley was being irrational but she was free from that coffin. The so called "coffin" made its way halfway across the bridge before a loud crash scared Ashley, making her jump. The bus had jerked to the left to dodge an oncoming car. Crap! It was happening. That white, horrid, coffin burst through the barrier and crashed into the murky water below.
"Shit!" Ashley screamed covering her mouth.
Her first instinct was to run. Run toward the bridge and see the damage. Within a minute she had made it and she peered over the side. Others were doing the same. They had pulled over and everyone was panicking.
'Someone call triple zero!' a man wearing a suit ordered.
'I'm onto it!' a larger woman yelled.
Tears were running down Ashley's face. She was in shock. Her hands were shaking and her mind was racing.
'I thought I would have stopped it.' She muttered under her breath. 'Why didn't I stop it? Could I have stopped it?'
Nobody was paying any attention to her. Everyone was busy trying to better the situation. The woman was on the phone, the man in the suit had taken off his jacket and was swimming out into the water toward the sinking bus. Others were just bystanders not knowing what else to do. Just like Ashley. Immense guilt surfaced inside her. She could have saved them. She should have done something to stop this from happening. Ashley began to get light headed. Her rapid breathing was making it worse. She was sweating even harder than before she boarded the bus. Her head began to spin and throb then something warm touched her upper lip. Instinctively, Ashley reached her hand to touch it and when she pulled away to look at what it was, she realized that, it was blood.
It appeared red at first but then it lost its colour, as did everything else around her. Ashley could barely hold her own weight any longer, her knees buckled and she fell sideway. Her head collided with the cement, then everything was black, again. But this time, it felt different. There was no acceptance, just the will to fight.
A rhythmic beeping was quietly playing its tune in the distance. The sound was drawing Ashley closer to it, drawing her in. like too many times recently, she forced open her eyes. White. Everything appeared white. The detail of the scene around her began becoming clearer. A window, to her left was cracked open a little. The walls and floor were white. Ashley glanced down at her arms and was startled by what she saw. There were tubes connected to needles taped to her wrists. Without realistically thinking things through, she grabbed at the tubes and needles and began pulling them out from her veins.
'No!'
Ashley continued pulling at the needles, not hearing his demand.
'Ashley! Stop!'
She continued until strong warm hands grabbed each arm to prevent her from accidently hurting herself by pulling the drips out. Only now did Ashley realized that the voice was familiar. She followed the arm with her eyes until they met his face. Nathan's face.
'Where..? How?' Ashley's voice was shaky.
'You're okay Ash. You're in the hospital.' His voice was calm and serious which was weird considering everything seemed to be a joke to him.
'I couldn't stop it!' tears began forming in her eyes. 'It was too late. I knew it was going to happen and I, the bus, so many, was it real? How many survive the crash?'
'Ash, you couldn't have stopped it. There's no way you could have known-' Nathan was no longer grasping her arms.
'But I did know!'
Only now did Ashley notice that Sam was also in the room 'Ashley, things are going to be… a little confusing. See, you hit your head pretty hard in the accident and-'
Hit my head in the accident? That's not right.
'No,' She shook her head furiously. 'I saw it! And I wasn't on the bus!'
Nathen pinched at his nose as though he had a headache then looked over his shoulder at Sam.
'How many of them…?' Ashley questioned.
The two of them remained silent.
'How many survived?' she asked again, sternly.
Sam approached the hospital bed Ashley was laying in 'Ash…'
Frustration was building inside Ashley. The two of them weren't listening or answering her questions directly.
'What…? Tell me!' Ashley said through her teeth whilst holding back the urge to either shout, curse or cry. Maybe even all of the above.
Sam could see the desperation on her face and hear it in her voice.
'Ash… there are no other survivors… you are the only one.'
The only one…? The only one… I was the only survivor.