"Oh, don't give me that bullshite. We weren't a couple because of you."
To my dismay, he halted the car on the sidewalk of the road and tuned his full attention to me, "Would you have confessed to me, like you did to Hayes, if you knew that it was me that you fell for?" His eyes burned with something I did not want to name it. "Would you? Would you have been with me?"
"I guess we'll never know."
"Don't give me that," he snapped, grabbing me by my neck when I tried to look away from him, making it impossible for me to look away. "If you claim that we weren't a couple because of me, you have to give a clear answer. Would you have been with me, had I been honest and you knew it was me?"
Would I? "Maybe. I don't know. You'd go to Harvard, I'd to Oxford and,"
"I would have come to Oxford for you, had I had any indication that you would be with me, if you knew that it was me. All that you showed me, was that you hated me, Ruby, me, as myself, you hated me. You never gave me reason to think differently, to even believe you would have wanted me."
I clenched my jaw, "You do understand that I fell for you, right? I didn't fall for Hayes, in fact, I only loved Hayes when he wasn't himself. I couldn't stand him, that's why I was in such denial that I had fall for him, for the parts of him that I thought he was hiding from others and showing me. But it wasn't him, it was you, wasn't it? You're the one who bathed before my classes. You tried to take his place, for whatever the bloody reason, but even then, you couldn't be as unlikable as him, could you?" I held the arm he held me on a chokehold with.
"The person I confessed to, was the one I fell for, not Hayes, but you. Had you stepped in and come to me when he rejected me, and told me the truth, it would have been different, Rhys. Maybe we would have been together, maybe we would've tried and not worked out, maybe many things could have been avoided. I didn't know it was you, it never came to my mind, because I thought you hated me, I never imagined you would do that, switch places with him and be with me. It was you that I fell for, Rhys, not your brother, but I thought it was because you lied to me and made me think you were him."
"But it's too late now, the damage is done, the consequences are settled, the wounds don't bleed no more, and our son is ten years old," forcing him to loosen his grip on my neck, I pushed his arm away. "Wondering what could've happened had we both done things differently won't take us anywhere, it won't change the actual course that our actions took, or what our decisions cause. You chose to remain silent about the fact that it was you that I had been with, you chose to let me believe it was Hayes and that he had rejected me, hence, I was pregnant of a boy who didn't even want me, who couldn't even own that he had been with me, because I was nothing to him, nothing but a body to be used."
"No, Ruby," he tried.
"This," I leaned back, "is what you made me believe, Rhys. This, is all I could think of, when I looked at my son, who's the bloody spitting image of you, when I wondered about his father, because you made me think Hayes was the one. That is what angers me the most, you know, you could've done it differently, none of this needed to happen, but you chose to be a coward and refrain from telling the truth. And now I feel even more stupid, because I couldn't even tell you apart from Hayes, and it hurts, because apparently, I was the only who couldn't, because I didn't even knew you as you, you for you, I knew you for how you pretended to be your brother, and I fell for it."
"I wasn't pretending, Ruby. Everything, was me."
"I... don't trust you, Rhys. You say you're being serious right now, but I can't find it in me to believe you, to believe that you're not lying to me again, that you are not pretending again, just to fool me like you did then. Because if you did it once, it'll be easy to do it one more time, especially when you didn't even give a bloody fuck about how I felt. Or did you really think I was in love with Hayes?"
His eyes darkened, "Everyone loved him, Ruby, everyone. Why wouldn't you?"
I halted, "You can't be fucking serious. Who loved him aside from my brother? He was the most annoying human being existent, even more than arse-Cole, which was a given on its own. You should have talked to me, even if you needed to pretend to be your brother for that to happen. Had you asked me, I would have told you, which parts of him... you, I fell for. In fact, I used to think he had a personality disorder or some shite, and was very damn near asking him to only act like the one I fell for when he was near me."
To my shock, Rhys' tanned cheeks flushed, "You told me it was a mistake,"
"I thought I lost my virginity with Hayes Crowther, that was a mistake! He fucked so many girls that I thought I could get a DST," that made the clown in the backseat bark a laugh behind us, and the reminder that we weren't alone made me retract myself, adding even more distance between me and Rhys. "It doesn't matter now, our past is long gone and the only thing remaining of it, is Rhett. You thought I hated you, I thought you hated me, you decided not to tell me the truth and actually pretend it hadn't happened, we went in different ways and that brought us here."
"Is it petty of me to ask if you've been in any relationship after... us?"
"No, but it's petty to call what we had, a relationship," I scoffed, avoiding his eyes and turning my gaze back to the window. "I haven't, I never had time for it, I had to study, and to take care of my son and my mum, later I had to work and take care of him, and I'm still in this phase. I don't have time, patience, nor the availability to date, or to even attempt to. I didn't want to give my son a stepdad."
"Wise choice, or he would be a very dead men right now," Rhys groaned.
I rolled my eyes, "How overbearing."
"So, Princess, not to interrupt you again, but, what do you work with?"
Why is he still talking? "I'm a writer."
"Oh? So, you really did go through with what you wanted?"
"How do you even know what I wanted?" I frowned, eyes still on the window.
"You were a very... constant topic back in Harvard," he chuckled. "I've heard so much about you, now meeting you feels like meeting a celebrity."
"Is he always this dramatic, or is he putting some effort to it?" He's annoying.
"Always this dramatic," Rhys mocked.
"I see," I mumbled softly, feeling my eyes heavy, struggling to stay awake.
My body relaxed on the seat, and as I heavy breathed, my consciousness withered away.