Jeremiah knew something is wrong as soon as the knights came back to the Black Fawne Headquarters and when asked if she still desired to still train, Zayn politely turns Jeremiah down.
Was he looking forward to it—Jeremiah is a truthful man, and he's enjoyed their one-on-one sessions: Zayn is a bubble young girl who tries her uttermost best, even when the results are extremely poor. Jeremiah hasn't met anyone like Zayn—she is odd and unique—but in a good way, and always seems to know nothing about the world at all, but continues to seek out said world for answers.
So Jeremiah, hoping he isn't breaking any boundaries yet believes he must do it to make sure she's okay, calls Zayn to his office after the knights return from their mission, and although she wears a fully armor bodysuit, she surprisingly seems to show her emotions on her sleeve at the same time— fascinating.
"Knight Zayn," Jeremiah said, eyeing the mountains of paper work that piled up in less than 24 hours on his desk, "may we talk?"
"Yes-I-of course, C-Captain!" Zayn said, fidgeting in her spot. "What seems to be the problem?" She asked.
"Well, you seemed eager to train when I got back," Jeremiah said, "and I also heard that you did fairly well in combat today—yet you do not seem happy, the complete opposite, actually."
Zayn silently stands in her spot, surprising Jeremiah, before she clears her throat, finally finding the courage to respond.
"I aimed for the Vera's head," Zayn said, "and after all of our training, I was successful."
"That is correct," Jeremiah said, "which is why I congratulated you, but you do not seem happy."
"I am not," Zayn said, "because I killed someone, and that makes me very, very sad."
There's a soft sniff, before a louder sniff, and Jeremiah, shocked and surprised, stands up from his seat, watching as water leaks from Zayn's armor.
"Z-Z-Zayn?" Jermeiah said, not knowing at all what to do. "Why do you cry?"
"Because I have killed another being." Zayn cries, sniffing with her face in her hands, "and this makes me so, so sad."
Jeremiah gulps, stuttering and trying to find his words. "Vera are half beast-."
"B-but are they not also human?" Zayn asked.
"Well, yes-." Jeremiah said.
"Then they are human beings too," Zayn said, "and I do not want to kill another being. I do not want that."
Jeremiah is at loss for words as he towers over Zayn, just his desk between their bodies as he peers down at her as she softly weeps, saddened over a Vera—are they not half beast? Don't they pierce fear and anger into humans hearts, just like himself, as he is also a half beast-.
Jeremiah stops, watching Zayn cry with a warm feeling in his chest, and he's not sure what it is, but it makes his body ache seeing her in tears.
"Oh Captain-." Zayn sobs. "Oh, I'm sorry-."
"It's okay, Knight Zayn." Jeremiah said, clearing his throat, "it's not like you've ever experience war or fighting before. I should have been more mindful-."
"Oh, it's not your fault." Zayn exclaims, shaking her head, "b-but I-I'm sorry if this makes me a failure as a hero, but-but if we must continue and must train, please train me to protect everyone, not to kill. I do not want to kill anyone. No one deserves such."
Surprised and flabbergasted, Jeremiah nods his head, watching as Zayn sniffles one last time and bows her head.
"I shall take my lead then, Captain." Zayn said, keeping her head low. "I apologize again, Captain."
Jeremiah watches his door softly close, realizing that the hulk of metal that left his office may be this country's hero, but she's also a sweet young girl who just happens to be given a holy weapon and is thrown into a unforgiven world.
…
Zayn knows she's feeling depressed—she even skips her dinner—(and Zayn never skips meals, so Amur and Chase meet Zayn in her and Amur's room to comfort her and eat with her as she sulks in her bed.) she still gets up early and heads to her usual training spot to surprisingly find Jeremiah already there, staring up at the sky.
"Well good morning, Captain." Zayn said, sitting next to Jeremiah and watching the sun rise. "You beat me today it seems."
"Good morning." Jeremiah said, sparing Zayn a glance or two before he faces the sun again. "How are you…feeling?"
Zayn smiles, but it doesn't reflect in her voice. "I-I mean better but, I guess this whole war and fighting thing is a lot more than I thought. I'm sorry, Captain. For the trouble and-."
"You asked last time we were here if me and my family still flew in the sky." Jeremiah said, turning to Zayn. "My father died in war, and my mother died of a broken heart—due to her soul mate dying. And I cannot fly, since I have not reached my form yet due to being a half." Jeremiah said, and he clears his throat. "So no, not anymore."
Zayn blinks, reaching a hand and softly rubbing Jeremiah's shoulder. Shocked and slightly embarrassed, Jeremiah watches her through heavy eyelashes, but doesn't move away from her touch.
"I say that because," Jeremiah said, meeting Zayn's eyes, "even I forgot how it feels to be more than a half beast. So it touches me. How you think no matter the race, they are still important. And that is what I'd want in a hero."
Jeremiah stands up, offering his hand, "so I will teach you how to protect," Jeremiah said, "not kill, but to protect. I will do what you ask of me."
Zayn takes his hand and squeezes it tightly, causing Jeremiah to flinch back, his cheeks flushed, and his heart a bit hammered.
…
Zayn joins Amur and Chase to the mess hall, this time with a little chirp in her step.
"So I'm assuming that little talks with oaf ol' boy went well." Amur said, raising an eyebrow at Zayn's happier demeanor.
"Well I am a bit depressed still about hurting another life," Zayn said, "but I'd like to now repent by choosing to train to protect instead of to kill! And Captain is so accepting of it! He's amazing Amur-!"
"Urgh, enough of that guy." Amur grumbles. "One more good review and I just might puke!"
Chase just shrugs, patting Zayn's shoulder before he stops, looking over across the room to see Ramon, who's on the ground, a menacing Sierna with a group of girls crowd around her as one of the girls throws their tray of food at Ramon's face. Ramon doesn't dodge, but glares at the girls through her dark bangs as food spills to the ground from the top of her head.
"So you and that farm boy decide to play with my horse to embarrass me," Sierna said, "and that farm boy, short stack, and tin can are getting favor for what? Being the best? Please! Tell me the truth—who's sleeping with the Captain? Tell me, huh?"
"My money's on tin can," a girl said from within the crowd, and by the way Zayn and Chase look down at Amur, Amur has just about lost it as Amur picks up a random tray from an abandoned table and throws it at the back of Sierna's head.
"Holy freak! Ow!" Sierna said, turning her head to meet eyes with Amur.
"Why don't you ask those questions to our face?" Amur asked—her blue eyes glowing in rage and Zayn looks to Chase, and his light black eyes are matching in tenor.
"Gods," Zayn said, sighing under her breath, "I'm so going to break something."