Proud to be a Sheep
Act II: Chapter 8
"Is he okay?"
"I don't know, he's been sick for a while now… But he was just fine two days ago though?"
"He could just be lazy."
"C'mon, don't say that, he looks so… dead."
The voices from outside the door wouldn't stop. They were at it from earlier this morning, Woke me the fuck up. I just wanted to be left alone…
"You know what, fuck it." *BANG*
The bang from Ember's foot kicking my door down reminded me of the time they raided the MCM Hospital, oh good times—
"Listen, kid. You're gonna have to talk to us if we're gonna help you." Said Ember, with a clear, concerned look on her face. One that was genuine, one that felt natural to their nature as an individual.
"I'm fine."
Echo then walks in, "Clearly you're not. You lay in bed all day yesterday, and now it's past 2 pm. You've been in bed for nearly 39 hours, Etsuko. 39!" Another voice that doesn't need acting to show their genuine concern. Oh, how I envy you. But at the same time, I don't.
The world outside my room felt distant, unreal, as if I were trapped in a suffocating fog that blurred the edges of reality. Every sound, every flicker of light, seemed amplified, yet meaningless, as I lay there paralyzed.
Finally, Tan, whose voice didn't bother changing its tone, but that made him all the more sincere (whether or not he was concerned, I didn't really care).
"What did you even do the previous night you left?" Tan asked, the question made my heart drop. A heavy, oppressive weight pressed down on me, suffocating me from the throat down. My thoughts looped endlessly, replaying that night in grotesque detail, each memory a fresh wound that bled into my consciousness. I felt contaminated, as if the evil I had committed had fused with my very being, and no amount of reasoning or justification could wash it away (I've been trying for the past 39 hours).
Why am I like this? He's not dead, I'm sure of it. Unless they failed to call the ambulance in time, I'm sure he'd have survived that. Even with his powers taken away, all they had to do was give him his power back and he would've healed perfectly fine. His brother was the owner of everything in the Tavern, wasn't he..?
My bed, once a place of rest, had become a prison, a tomb where I was entombed with my own monstrous thoughts. The guilt gnawed at me relentlessly, a silent tormentor that robbed me of any semblance of comfort. I killed a man— No. No. No no no no. He was no man. The people around me right now kill them on a regular basis. They're monsters.
But so are you.
I was a hollow shell, crushed by the unbearable weight of my own actions, suffocating under the realization that I could never escape the shadow of my own guilt.
I NEED THE SYRINGE.
"Hello?"
I looked up, startling Ember. I can see Tan's facial expression, darkening, his eyebrows frowning, his lip grinning. Why? Does she know? A cold panic gripped me, clawing at my chest and tightening around my throat. Every glance in my direction felt loaded with suspicion, every word spoken seemed a veiled accusation. I couldn't think straight— my mind raced, spiraling into dark corners where every possibility ended in my exposure. I saw disappointment in every concerned look, betrayal in each smile, condemnation in every silence.
FUCK OFF.
The walls seemed to close in around me, and my thoughts were a tangled mess of fear and desperation. I was drowning in paranoia, certain that at any moment, the fragile mask I wore would shatter, and the truth—my horrible, damning truth—would be laid bare for all to see.
"Kid, you need to talk to us." Said Echo.
"You know what, fuck this." Ember grabbed my arm and pulled me out of bed. "If you're not gonna train today either, then let's just go out!"
"Huh—?"
"You came from the past, right? I'm sure there'd be a bunch of stuff you'd find awesome here in the future!" Ember exclaimed. Bright as the sun, her smile is. The windows, originally shut by the curtains, flew up with Ember's strong pull, making the bright sunlight reflect through her red hair. She really was beautiful, but still, no butterflies. Just guilt and knots.
She managed to bring a smile out of me. She was so ridiculous that I managed to pull one off: a weak, but genuine smile. She smiled back, seemingly happy at the positive effect she managed to give me. "You look better when you smile. More handsome." She said, as she tilted her said towards my direction, emphasizing her pretty eyes. Her flirtatious attempts were all in vain, however. I knew it wasn't anything serious, it was all just to make me laugh, to cheer me up. I actually wondered how her "boyfriend" would react to all of this.
We walked around the streets of the city. Echo and Ember were trying to get me to try all sorts of things, from foods to arcade game consoles, that were pretty much the same as the ones I had back then. Tan didn't join us, saying he had more important stuff to do. Does he no longer trust me? Is he looking into what happened last night? Fuck… I shouldn't have done that. I should've taken the risk and just gone outside city walls. Who cares about being stranded or dying to a random freakishly strong monster? At least I'd die an idiot instead of living as a criminal.
"Hey! Check this out!" Said Ember. She led me and Echo to an arcade console that had Tekken 8 running on it. I was surprised, I didn't expect to see a game I was familiar with. I thought they'd have new franchises, or at least newer versions of the game, but no, it was the exact same Tekken 8 I used to play with my best friend.
"Wanna bet?" Echo said in a smug 'I'll kick your ass' tone.
"HAH! Last time we played, you didn't score a single round against me!"
"Well, it'd be different this time! Plus, even if I lose to you, I think I can still win against the old timer here." They both looked at me, both with obvious confidence they could beat me. Echo was looking down at me, while Ember was smirking. I didn't bother telling them I was familiar with the game; that would only make my loss (if I were to lose) more pathetic, and it might come off as an acceptance of the challenge.
I let out a laugh and just said, "I mean, let's see, I guess."
A few games passed, and I've come to quickly learn something about both this game and myself. Tekken is a very realistic game, not in the sense of powers and supernatural entities… Never mind, it's quite a realistic game now. The fighting stances, the techniques, the strikes, the combos, most of them are actually legit (except for the part that once you're in the air, they can just treat you like a ragdoll with the right combo). If the player I'm fighting against isn't well equipped with any combos and is just playing with instinct (and slight button mashing), it's actually quite easy to not only react quickly, but also predict their movements. Did I also manage to do this during my fight with Ayson? Or am I giving myself too much credit?
"Fucking hell, man, you're too good!" Said Echo, who is currently on a 13-loss streak against me.
"Yeah!" Ember exclaimed with excitement, "Where'd you learn combos like that?"
"Well, I mean, other than learning what kind of strike the button does, it's only a matter of predicting where you'll end up or how you'll act. I just respond depending on the situation." I always lost against my old friend. He knew all the combos of not only strikers, but also grapplers. He was insane with King but deadly on Dragunov. The only times I could beat him was either when I got lucky, or he got bored and distracted by something else. I could've learned the game more like he did, but I didn't like learning about combos. I loved flashy strike oriented characters, so I always opted for Hwoarang and Victor, but occasionally, I also used Lars and Yoshi. On Tekken 7, however, I always go for my king, Noctis, who, even right now, I wish is on Tekken 8.
"Ohhhh so you have observant eyes? You'll make a good boyfriend." She teases, "Were you popular with the girls?" I wonder if Ember is targeting me with her flirts because she thinks I'm easy, or if it's because I'm younger than her. But to answer her question,
"No, not really. I was the quiet kid in the corner."
"Boooo! Boring answer." Teased Echo, to which Ember agreed. They both shared a laugh while I gave a chuckle, my chest still heavy and swirling with dread. I think the two noticed it, as they cut their laughs short, looked at each other, and then back to me. Ember then said, "Hey—"
"HEY!" A kid from the distance shouted. "It's the blood guy!"
The kid rushed towards us, followed by his group of friends. They were no longer wearing the same ragged, ruined clothes. They had plain shirts and shorts now, and one of them was even holding a console. That eased the pain in my chest a bit.
"Thanks again, mister! We promised to pay you back, now we're here!" The kids surrounded me one by one, the same way the squad once did. Except they didn't interrogate me, they didn't scare me, their eyes so filled with joy and gratitude made mine almost fill up with tears. They each held out a sack of copper coins from their backs and handed them to me. I didn't accept them, I couldn't. They needed it a lot more than I did, so why are they giving it back to someone like me? A criminal. Oh how I wonder how they'd react if only they knew what I did…
"Uhhhh, excuse me," Said Ember, "sorry to interrupt but, how do you guys know each other?" I find it both funny and admirable how Ember talks to a kid with just as much respect as she would an adult. Yet somehow less respect towards me, who's older than these punks.
"Oh, mister gave us a roof!" Said one of the kids. Oh God, please don't talk about this while I'm here…
"A roof?" Echo asked, confused.
"I just helped them out a bit. Set up a little hut for them to do business on. Look, it's not a big deal. Let's just—"
"I wanna see," said Ember, "That roof you're talking about, and the business. I wanna see them."
"Me too." Fuck, now even Echo is on it too.
"You guys can go ahead, I think my headache is acting up." Fucking hell, man, as much as I like my kindness being seen and appreciated, don't do it in front of me. Not only is it embarrassing, it's also awkward as hell. Like, what the hell am I supposed to say??? "Yeah, I'm an angel who fell from heaven, and I've come to save you're pitiful souls—" FUCK NO.
After leaving the tease duo with the kids, I went on back to the motel, and laid in bed. Back to my prison, which didn't feel as horrible as it once did. The kids helped, Ember and Echo also helped, but my mind doesn't like the fact that I'm feeling better after basically torturing a man. I don't deserve to be fine, I told myself. But regardless of what I said, I still was improving (I think).
I fell to my bed, face first. Turning around to face the ceiling when I heard, "Back so soon?" It was a familiar voice. A big, beefy, juicy man was standing outside my repaired door. With the sun setting from behind his back, I could see his shadowy figure standing in front of the red sunset.
"Zaddy?"
"Dumbass. Are you drunk or something?" Tan asked. It sounded like a joke, but his monotonous tone made it seem like he meant some of it. "How're you feeling?"
"Better, still somewhat sick. I should be able to train tomorrow, though." I planned on sneaking out again tonight. This time, I'm storing some of the Yellow liquid from the syringe.
"Well, that's good. It'll be hard to train with a preoccupied mind." Seems like Tan knows that it's more than physical sickness, but for some reason, I was too tired to feel the paranoia. He took a seat opposite me, "Here," he tossed something.
It landed straight to my stomach, "Is this…?" The ring glowed in a beautiful shade of gold. Not only did it remind me of the syringe, but it also resembled the yellow vision I had. Both when I woke up, and while fighting Ayson. I felt the fear once more, the gore of stabbing Ayson's eye was far worse than walking alone in the hospital. Terror was wallowing up and gathering inside me. Shivers ran down my spine, and I liked that. The more fear I felt, the more guilt it covered up. The more scared I was, the better. I deserved the dread.
"Remember the ring I used to summon your backpack?" Tan asked, to which I nodded. "Rings, when crafted correctly with the right materials, has the capacity to not only make a spell stone be castable multiple times, it could also improve the spell."
"So, it's like alchemy?"
"Exactly. There are also artifacts dedicated for it, we call them Arcane Artifacts. Normally, mages with their Arcanes collaborate with blacksmiths with their Artysans to create these rings. That way, the ring could turn out the best it could."
"I see," I said, emptily. I didn't have the capacity to feel bad for not reacting excitedly, so I just asked whatever was on my mind. "What can this ring do? Or spellstone rather."
"That is a Flicker. It has the ability to teleport you to wherever you want within your vision. Be careful with the mana consumption though, don't overdo it." Isn't this what they were supposed to use for the raid against Tago? I can't ask him that, now can I? I might trigger an unpleasant memory, so I just kept my mouth shut.
"You'll practice with it tomorrow morning. I'm not sure what happened to you but, whatever it is, get it sorted out. That Flicker could be what saves your life." Foreshadowing?
"Okay, I'll make sure to train tomorrow." My reply was more of a wish than a promise. Tan got up from his seat, but I had to say it before he could leave, "Thanks. For everything."
He smiled at me, and closed the door as he left.