"Why did you act the gentleman last night? Why didn't you take my virginity?" Qin Yucen reached out to stop him from moving away, her eyes brimming with tears as she pleaded, "I regret it now... Can we turn back time?"
Her voice was filled with infinite sadness and agony, a sparkling light twinkling in the corner of her eyes, piercing his own.
The air was still, a wave of sorrow swirling through it, as though the bitterness of the sea was creeping in.
Huo Jingtang's gaze darkened a few shades, "Tell me, what exactly happened?"
"Don't ask..." Qin Yucen bit her lip hard, how could she begin to speak of such a private and embarrassing matter? She didn't want to relive that heart-wrenching pain, nor did she want him to pity her, "Huo Jingtang, I'd rather have given myself to you than to be humiliated by him and endure such pain."
His humiliation? Could it be her husband? What kind of problems existed in their marriage that made her so vulnerable and out of control, seeking warmth on his body, seeking solace for her wounds?
"I'm really not dirty." Qin Yucen vehemently defended herself, "Do you believe me?"
Huo Jingtang stared into her eyes in the darkness, obscured as if by a thin mist, reminiscent of a wounded doe, evoking sympathy.
"I believe you," he said, the words emerging from his cool lips.
Upon hearing such words, Qin Yucen's tightly wound heart relaxed instantly, and the corners of her soft lips lifted unconsciously into a beautiful curve. She smiled radiantly, like the bright stars twinkling in the depths of night.
"As long as one person believes in me, that's enough," Qin Yucen murmured, her lips tight, the pain inside her seemingly eased a bit.
"Is it because he doesn't trust you that you want to indulge yourself with me?" He seemed to see through her abnormal behavior that day, "But in trying to get back at someone else, you only hurt yourself. If others hurt you, do you also stop caring about yourself? Is this really what you want?"
Feeling guilty, Qin Yucen lowered her lashes and avoided his gaze, biting her lip before finally gathering up the courage to say, "No... this isn't what I want."
"Then be true to yourself, and don't care about what others think!" Huo Jingtang withdrew his hand from her loosened grip, giving her the space to cool down, and then he left.
Qin Yucen lay on the bed, slowly closing her eyes, Huo Jingtang's last words echoing in her mind. She also questioned herself internally, was this really what she wanted?
She slowly curled up, shrinking into a ball akin to the fragile pose of a newborn, the scent of the aloof man at her nose, lulling her into drowsiness, bringing her peaceful sleep.
In the middle of the night, Qin Yucen was awakened by the cold, as the room's heater wasn't turned on. Because of the alcohol, her throat felt as though it had been scraped with a knife, painfully dry.
She looked around the room, both strange and familiar, filled with the scent of its male owner. Clutching her hair, she once again tackled Huo Jingtang, how could she demean herself so much in front of him.
She dressed quickly, hurried out of the room, down the stairs, and saw the living room floor lamp still emitting a faint yellow light. It gently illuminated the man's face, softening his stern features.
Huo Jingtang lay sprawled out on the sofa, dressed in the usual white shirt and dark trousers. Simple, yet strikingly handsome.
His left hand cushioned his neck while his right covered his eyes, shielding them from the light. His breathing was light and even, his sleep serene but tinged with an aloof frostiness.
She didn't linger, heading towards the front door. As her hand touched the doorknob, she turned back to look at the living room. Bowing her head, she took a deep breath, released the doorknob, and walked back. She went upstairs, fetched a wool blanket, and covered him with it.
As she picked up her purse and was about to step away, she felt her wrist caught in a firm grip.
She turned around to meet a pair of dark, cold eyes that stared directly at her, sharp and calm yet causing her heart to tremble and disrupt its rhythm.
She tried to withdraw her hand silently, but he tightened his hold on her, "It's so late, and it's snowing outside. Where do you think you're going?"
Her eyes widened in shock. He had seen every move she made; he hadn't been sleeping at all, "Going home."
"Do you really want to go back to that home?" Huo Jingtang stared into her eyes, but she lowered her lashes, unwilling to be seen through, "If you don't want to go back to that home... then stay. There are plenty of rooms here; one more person won't make a difference."
He had made his point so clear, was it not a hint?
Huo Jingtang was sitting; she stood, his hand holding hers, his fingertips gently brushing the back of her hand as if sending electric currents rushing from her fingertips straight to her heart, making it skip a beat.
She felt the back of her hand burning, wanted to shake off his grip, but he held on even more tightly, as if he had no intention of ever letting go.
And she, ultimately unable to keep her composure, blushed, her ears warming as a peony's national beauty and heavenly fragrance spread across her snow-white skin, utterly enchanting. Any normal man would have been helpless to resist such temptation.
They gazed at each other in silence, their fiery stares igniting the air between them.
"Mr. Huo, I appreciate your kind offer. But as you said, I'm already married, and I cannot afford to play the game of infidelity, nor do I wish to. You are the distinguished Huo Jingtang, and I'm the lowly Qin Yucen. There should be a distance between us. I am truly sorry for any inconvenience I've caused you these past few times. Mr. Huo, if I've given you the wrong impression, I sincerely apologize," she said earnestly and clearly, "I won't make such a mistake again. I'm sorry..."
She couldn't even decide her own life, so why invite romantic troubles? Doing so would only add to her sorrow and pain. Already unfortunate, she didn't need to extend misfortune to others. Besides, she had no desire to entertain such thoughts right now, so this was for the best. At least she wouldn't be heartbroken.
If these words didn't convey a message of rejection, then Huo Jingtang would be a fool.
His eyes were as dark as this snowy winter night, "You've spoken well."
"Mr. Huo... I..." Qin Yucen bit her lip. She had to stay rational now, not be moved by every word he said, "You've helped me a lot, and all I can say is thank you. I truly appreciate it, and I'll always remember your kindness. But I don't want to trouble you anymore. Like you said, I need to be brave and be myself. So I should go back now..."