Chapter 16
I'm not keen on recalling my own sexual experiences. I've had two girls, classmates from college, and another I met at a bar, an ABC lady of Chinese descent. The innocent and the glamorous—women, in the end, are just so, and all ended without any illness or issue. In my eyes, there is only Fu Mingfang. To love someone to such an extent, it's no surprise that someone like me could also harbor hatred.
I don't want her to be happy; I wish she shared my misery. I don't want her to smile; I wish she was as cold as ice, like me. I don't want her wedding to be successful, with guests filling the seats; I wish for a little, just right disaster during the ceremony, turning the garden into an isolated island, leaving only me and Fu Mingfang behind.
But at the luxurious and warm wedding of Fu Mingfang and Zhou Nan, the beautiful bride was all smiles as she greeted the attending guests. The sky was clear, without a cloud in sight, and the grassy garden was filled with the scent of perfumed lilies. The long tables were arranged in a horseshoe shape, symbolizing good luck. Gentlemen and ladies, in their finest apparel and with the faint whisper of conversations, greetings, and best wishes, mingled with the rustle of quality frocks and silk rubbing against each other.
I drank some champagne, and finally, Fu Mingfang and Zhou Nan came to me. I presented the gift selected by my mother, then took both of their hands, beaming with excitement, and with all my heart, I said, "I wish you happiness and a harmonious marriage."
"Thank you, thank you," they said together, truly in harmony.
The banquet began. It wasn't a buffet. Western delicacies were served one after another, the dishes quite ordinary, but the wine was exquisite, and I drank a lot. I heard Mr. Liu, sitting diagonally across, comment, "Jiayang really can hold his liquor."
"The wine is good, appropriate for drowning sorrows?" said the girl beside me.
I turned to look at her, her face unfamiliar yet strangely familiar.
The napkin on the girl's lap had fallen. I picked it up for her. She was dressed in a white silk dress, placing the napkin back on her lap, but it slipped off again. Picking it up once more, the girl gave a slight smile, "That's the poise of a diplomat."
I felt dispirited, unwilling to engage in small talk.
Eventually, as some guests started to leave, I quickly followed suit, ready to depart. Mingfang had changed into a light purple dress and had her hair up, revealing a beautiful neck. She was greeting guests at a corner of the garden.
I felt a surge of pride, looking at her, just looking at her, then stormed over in a few quick strides, grabbed her hand, and fixed my gaze on her deep, watery eyes. Why did I have to pretend to be a modest gentleman? Why couldn't I just be myself? I said loudly, "Mingfang, I love you. I want you to be with me."
Then she started to cry, throwing herself into my arms, whispering, "Jiayang, how long I've waited to hear those words from you."
Then we left everything behind and flew away together.
But in the bright light of day, no fairy tale chose to unfold here. I remained hidden in my own opulent false armor, walked over, shook Zhou Nan's hand, hugged Mingfang, and whispered in her ear, "It's very important to me that you are happy."
I don't know if anyone was moved. When I left the wedding venue, my eyes were moist. I called Xu Dong, who promised to send me an entrancing gift tonight. I said, "I want it, right now."
"Now? In broad daylight?" Xu Dong laughed softly on the other end of the phone, "You really have a taste for the finer things."
One Sunday in June, an auspicious day on the zodiac, suitable for all endeavors.
(End of Chapter)
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