Earl

Is it normal nowadays to confess your feelings on the rooftop of a building? But why here, when there are so many other places available? You could do it in a park, in a classroom, or by sending messages. Why am I even complaining? Because I am witnessing it firsthand.

It's normal for me to go to the rooftop and play my guitar during breaktime; it's like this place is my second home. How can it be right? You can see the beautiful skies and feel the strong, calming breeze of the wind. The view of the school is equally stunning.

I'll describe my school later, now I have a problem, how can I escape in this situation!? I'm stuck in this rooftop and it will be weird if I just show myself and walk out as if nothing happened here. 

It's foolish of me to come here after school; I thought I could relax until 7:00 p.m. I didn't want to get scolded by Nay, so I came here after school to relax until 7:00 p.m. I was so focused on playing my guitar that I didn't even notice those two entering the rooftop and making a confession in this place.

"Do you like me too, Alexei?" 

Yoru Maeda was an exchange student from Japan when I was in 7th grade. She's famous, you see. She's beautiful and charismatic, and her short hair suits her perfectly. People call her a goddess because she also has a great personality. Combined with her stunning figure, there's nothing more to say. However, there are rumors that she's a bully since many people are scared to mess with her and even her friends. If I walk out now, I'm done for, but it can't be true, right?

"Uh I'm speechless Yoru I just don't believe this, but you knew already right? I like your friend Sandra, I even confessed to her. No, actually, we are dating now."

Alexei Romanov, a Serbian guy, nothing much to say he's handsome but has rotten attitude. All I can say is he is hated by everyone in our school, even I hate him. Look he's being jerk now.

"I know, but I don't care. I want you and I'll make you mine no matter what."

"Please don't pursue me. There are many better men out there. I'm fully committed to Sandra, and I hope you understand Yoru."

"Why can't you love me like you love Sandra? We've been together since childhood, back when we were in Japan. Aren't those memories enough for you to consider me your lover, Alexei?"

"Yoru, I just can't. There's nothing unlikable about you, it's just... I can't. I'm sorry," Alexei said with a smile.

How can he say it with a smile? What a jerk.

"I see, you think I'm playing with you. You always treat everything like a game! How can you still smile while saying such painful things and knowing that you've hurt my feelings?" Yoru said, tears welling up in her eyes as she looked at Alexei.

"So now you're blaming me? It was your idea to confess your feelings, and all I did was respond honestly. I never expected you to confess to me in the first place."

This is getting really uncomfortable. I can't stand listening to them argue, raising their voices and airing their private issues that shouldn't be heard in public. It's like they're acting as if they're still lovers or maybe kids fighting over toys—what a strange comparison. I need to get out of this situation before it gets any worse.

After a minute or two of their endless argument, all I can hear now is Yoru sobbing on the rooftop floor. Alexei storms out, slamming the door so hard that it hurts my eardrums. It's getting dark, so I think it's time for me to leave. Ugh, I'm going to be in big trouble when I get home—there will be frying pans and flip-flops flying at my face. What a mess. I grab my things, stand up, and walk slowly towards the doorknob. But just as I reach for it, I feel someone grabbing my uniform.

"C...Ca...Play...me song?"

Man, I'm dead 😰

She's crying, really crying, and I can almost feel the weight of her emotions just by watching her. It's sad to see her so vulnerable as if all the light and joy she usually radiates have vanished in an instant. She seems so empty inside, and it's hard to see this profound sadness with the bright lively person I know her to be. I can't help but feel a deep sense of disbelief and sympathy for her, wondering how someone so full of life can be overwhelmed by such profound sorrow.

"You're... Earling Stan Gonzaga, right? The Filipino guy from our room? Can you keep this... a secret?" she asked, her gaze fixed on the floor.

"Y-Yeah, I'm not really well-known at our school. I'm actually disliked because I'm Asian, so there's no chance I'd spread what happened here," I said, scratching the back of my head and forcing a chuckle.

Yoru looked up, her eyes meeting mine with relief. She nodded, taking a deep breath as she tried to compose herself. "Thanks, Earling. I just didn't expect today to turn out like this."

Man I thought I can go home now. Damn that Alexei, I'm stuck now with this girl, he could've just offered her to send her home. 

I offered a small, awkward smile. "Yeah, sometimes things just... spiral out of control. If you want, I can walk with you to wherever you need to go. It's getting dark, and it might be better not to be alone."

Yoru seemed to consider this for a moment before nodding. "I guess that would be nice, but could you play me a song? Something that might help me cry it all out."

"I guess, but I only play Filipino songs. Is that okay?"

"I know a bit of Filipino my personal maid is a Filipina so I learned some from her." she said, walking towards the bench

She sat on a bench near the edge of the rooftop, and I followed her, taking out my guitar. As I settled down beside her, I began to think about what song might suit the situation. 

"Kung Wala Ka" by Hale came to mind. But then a concern crossed my mind: would she even understand the song? It's in Filipino, after all. It would be counterproductive if she couldn't grasp the lyrics and ended up more frustrated than comforted.

I chuckled to myself at the thought. "Imagine if she ends up crying not because of the song's emotion but because she can't understand a word of it," I mused. 

Despite the potential language barrier, I decided to go ahead with the song. Sometimes, music transcends words and can still convey feelings even if the listener doesn't fully understand the lyrics. If nothing else, the melody might still provide some solace. Plus, it would be a chance to show that even though we're not close, I'm willing to make an effort to help.

With a deep breath, I strummed the first few chords of the song, hoping that the music would bridge any gap left by the language and offer Yoru some comfort.

"Natapos na ang lahat (It's all over)

Nandito pa rin ako (But I'm still here)

Hetong nakatulala (Here, staring blankly)

Sa mundo, sa mundo (In the world, in the world)"

I glanced at Yoru and was taken aback to see her crying. Her tears flowed freely, and she seemed profoundly moved by the song. I was surprised—perhaps she recognized the lyrics, or maybe the melody touched something deep within her.

Feeling a renewed sense of purpose, I continued singing the song, pouring all my emotions into each strum of the guitar. Every chord, every note, was infused with the pure emotions that I have that I hoped would resonate with Yoru. I gave it everything I had, letting her feel with the music, striving to deliver the emotional impact she had asked for.

As I sang, I noticed Yoru's expression change subtly. Her eyes were closed, and she was listening intently, absorbed in the music. It felt like a dance between my performance and her reaction a typical relation of musician and audience after all it's my goal was to offer her the song that will make her cry.

This was my first time playing a song in front of someone, and I could feel my nervousness blending with my determination. I'd never performed for an audience before, let alone for someone in such a vulnerable state. But I knew that Yoru had asked for this, and it was my job to deliver.

As I finished the song, I looked up to see Yoru still listening intently, her eyes are filled with tears. She wiped them away gently and let out a soft chuckle, her mood shifting from intense sadness to a more reflective state.

"Of all songs," she said with a small, surprised smile, "'Kung Wala Ka' was your choice? I have no problem with it, really. I never thought this would be the song you'd play." She paused for a moment, her gaze softening. "Thank you, Earling."

Being thanked felt weird to me. No one at school ever really reached out for help or engaged with me on a personal level. I was often seen as an outcast, considered useless, and generally ignored. The rare moments of acknowledgment or casual conversation were practically non-existent, so being thanked felt like an unexpected honor.

I gave a humble nod, the sense of fulfillment mingling with the lingering awkwardness from earlier. "I'm glad it helped," I replied. "I wasn't sure if it would make sense, but I'm really happy it did."

Yoru gave me another soft chuckle and said, "You see, my maid used to sing that song when she was taking a shower or singing karaoke. Because of her, I memorized the lyrics."

A realization hit me—I should have known she would understand! I felt a mix of surprise and relief. At least I didn't have to break down the song's meaning word by word, which would have been such a hassle. I could only imagine the trouble I'd be in if she really didn't understand the lyrics at all.

Seeing Yoru's brightened mood made me feel a bit better. It was clear that the song had managed to lift her spirits, if only a little. The emotional weight she had been carrying seemed a bit lighter now, and I was glad that I could contribute to that shift, even in a small way.

"Let's go home shall we? It's getting dark now." she said flashing a bright smile to me.

"I'll walk you until you reach you house. It's the best I can do as a classmate since it's dark now" I said while packing up my guitar.

"Hoho" Yoru looked a me and smile playfully "I never thought the egoist Earling Stan willl offer me a walk to my house"

Egoist? Me? How am I an egoist?

Yoru looked at me seriously and asked, "Aren't you afraid of being caught up in those rumors again?"

I chuckled softly, recalling the trouble from two years ago. "I've got nothing to lose. All I need to do is endure two more years and graduate, right?" My words were light-hearted, but they carried a hint of resolve.

Yoru's lips curved into a warm smile, and she gave a slight bow of her head. "I knew you were kind, Earling. Thank you."

Her gratitude was genuine, and it was comforting to see her mood lifted. We both stood up, and as we walked towards the stairs leading down from the rooftop, the city below began to reveal itself.

The streets were bathed in the dim glow of streetlights, casting long shadows and giving the night an almost serene quality. Despite the darkness, there was a sense of calm as we descended. The silence between us felt peaceful, a welcome contrast to the emotional whirlwind we'd just experienced.

The cool night air was refreshing, and it seemed to carry away some of the heaviness that had lingered. As we made our way down, I couldn't help but feel a sense of quiet contentment. It wasn't often that moments like these occurred—simple acts of kindness and connection amidst the backdrop of my usual isolation.

We walk onto the street, and the quiet hum of the city filled the space between us. It was a reminder that even I being an outcast, there could still have meaningful interactions and moments of understanding with other people. 

Yoru's home is not too far from our house, its only three streets away from us. Her maid thanked me for walking her home safely, turns out she lied of going to the library and study for the upcoming examination. Of course I didn't told everything to her maid, after that I walked straight to our house and guess what? I'm damn nervous now because my Nay will be so soooo mad to me.

I opened the gate of our house since no one is outside, the lights are out because duh its 8:00 p.m. and my Nay is saving electricity to have lesser bill. I looked left and right to see if she's hiding there with a flipflops or a hanger so that I can dodge it.

"May lakas ka pa ng loob na umuwi P**%@g ina ka (You motherf%$#er, you still have guts to come home huh)"

Ahh I'm dead.