Remus held in his flinch and closed his eyes; Moony has been more active in the last 24 hours than he had ever been before. Seeing his reaction, Harry moved closer and offered Remus a half hug. "Mine were bad," Harry said, "we can swap one for one."
Remus pulled Harry into the hug and breathed in his scent to calm his wolf. Harry stiffened slightly at the contact. He hadn't been hugged by an adult like this, not in this life and not in his last. Every hug back then had a motive; this one was purely for them.
"The test said that the compulsions started back when I was eleven," Remus said. "He wanted me to be submissive, to keep my wolf down and to trust him - always."
"He wanted me to be just like my dad - he even placed a glamour on me. He wanted somebody he could mould and manipulate."
"I had a slow acting poison in my system. I would have died," Remus admitted.
"I think that's what he wanted me to do. He wants me for something, all year he was hinting at something…" Harry said, making sure his voice sounded confused.
Remus smelt the emotions. Harry didn't smell confused; he wasn't lying, but there was a slight scent of deception.
After a few minutes, Remus released Harry from the half hug. "What are we going to do about him? What if he's done this to everybody? If it's been going on for 20 years why not longer?"
Harry sighed. He didn't want to talk about everything yet, so he settled with, "Then we will deal with it, but first we need to help Sirius. He's innocent and without him, I haven't got a chance at getting away from Dumbledore or the Dursleys."
"They hurt you," Remus said, the low growl in his voice alerting Harry to how much anger he felt.
"I'm okay, Remmy, I will never go back to them - not without a fight," Harry said.
"How bad?" he asked faintly.
"A few scars, broken bones, missed meals," Harry said.
"Never again," Remus promised. "Even if we have to run, I will never let you go through that again."
Harry smiled at the softly spoken vow. He believed the wolf; his sincerity. For the first time in both lives, Harry fully believed.
.....
The next few days leading up to the trial, Harry distracted Remus by having him make plans for Sirius' trial and then demanding the wolf borrow some money to buy some new clothes for himself and Sirius.
Harry, however, was distracted himself by his search; he hadn't interacted with Quirrellmort all year. Excluding their Defence lessons, he had avoided the man. He didn't want to be around him, not when he was still so… scattered . The parasite he was while attached to Quirrell wasn't Tom or even the Voldemort he knew; he was a small, insane part of him.
Sure, Harry had felt the slight pull, but he had been able to ignore it. He had thought about him, but Harry didn't want to meet the person who he now knew was his soulmate for the first time on the back of his Defence teacher's head.
Instead, Harry used his time in the Leaky Cauldron to visit Knockturn Alley in secret. The shadowy alley offered more in terms of the obscure, as well as the illegal, which suited Harry's needs as he had yet to find something with potential, let alone conclusive results.
After spending the afternoon hidden in the aisles of a less than commendable back alley shop, Harry sighed in defeat. He had promised Remus he would be back early so they could go through everything again, before tomorrow. The wolf was anxious and believed Sirius would never forgive him.
Walking out of the shop after leaving a few coins on the counter for the shopkeeper - to show his appreciation in secrecy - Harry walked out with his hood up and head down.
"Buy any books today?" Remus asked when Harry entered the room.
Harry smiled slightly. "No, they didn't have what I was looking for," he said. He had told Remus he was searching Diagon Alley for books, saying he liked ritual magic and found it interesting.
"Well, I am always willing to look around for you," Remus offered.
"Thank you, but I think it will be one of those 'know it when I see it' books," Harry said.
Remus laughed lightly at how put out Harry managed to sound. "I still can't believe Prongs produced a little raven, he was adamant you would be a lion," Remus said. He had been more willing to talk about Harry's parents as the week had gone on, opening up to Harry more than he had in his last life. "But your mother, she would have loved this. James would have as well, after he had gotten over the shock."
"Do you want to get food here or downstairs?" Harry said after a few moments.
Remus considered for a few minutes before he smiled. "How about we go out to muggle London? I know a nice Chinese place. Have you ever had Chinese?" he asked.
Harry shook his head. "No. The Dursleys would have it occasionally, but I've never tried it." He thought it was strange that this was actually true; he was 18 years old mentally and he had never tried a lot of things.
....
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