It was a quiet August night, the kind where the world feels hushed under a blanket of darkness. The only sounds breaking the silence were the soft pings of messages being exchanged between two people.
"So, can you still not tell me about your goal in life?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me once again.
"No, I can't," she replied.
"Sad. I've really wanted to know about it for a long time," I typed back, trying to coax an answer out of her.
"I really want to keep this to myself," she insisted, her tone firm yet gentle.
"Instead of saying it, I want to show it to you," she added after a pause.
"Then, I guess I'll just have to wait and watch," I responded, accepting her decision.
"Though sometimes I wonder if I can actually achieve it," she confessed.
"I'm sure you can, and no matter what or where it is, I'll always support you," I replied, sending a bunch of happy emotes to lighten the mood.
The conversation went on and then,
"I really wish these moments could last forever," she sent, almost wistfully.
"I want to keep texting you forever," she added, her words hanging in the air, making the night feel even more intimate.
"I feel the same, but just being friends might not be enough to keep us together forever," I typed, a hint of worry creeping into my thoughts.
"Things will change," I added, knowing that time has a way of shifting everything.
"I don't want that change," she responded, almost pleadingly.
"But it still will…" I replied, my message trailing off as the weight of reality settled in.
The next morning, I woke up to the blaring sound of my alarm, still groggy and reluctant to leave the comfort of my bed. Half-asleep, I fumbled around for my phone, finally grabbing it and turning on the screen. A smile crept across my face as I saw a good morning text from Tsula.
I giggled to myself and quickly typed a reply, wishing her a good morning back. Her simple texts always had a way of lifting my spirits.
I dragged myself out of bed, washed up, and got ready for college. I'd been wearing the same clothes every day since I came here, not that I had much choice. Honestly, I didn't like how I looked in my other clothes—they made me look too skinny, even skinnier than I already was.
Come to think of it, college week was coming up soon. Maybe it was high time I bought some new clothes. Jee might be up for some shopping with me again. I definitely needed the help—I had zero sense of fashion, and my sense of direction was just as bad.
Man, sometimes my own uselessness baffles me.
I pulled on my usual casual clothes and headed out for college. As I reached the campus just in time, I quickly took a seat in the classroom. The teachers were busy arranging our seating, explaining that we could sit wherever we liked during theory classes, but for practical sessions, we'd have assigned seats. No surprise there—I found myself next to Rena. I couldn't help but wonder if this was the teachers' doing.
The first lecture went by, and we moved on to the practical class. Feeling the weight of my sleepless night, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay awake. Tsula and I had texted until 1 a.m., and even after that, sleep had eluded me. I kept replaying our conversation, regretting what I had said: "Just being friends would not be enough to keep us together forever."
Why did I say that? It felt so harsh, and I couldn't even figure out what I meant by it. Was I hinting that I wanted something more, or was I just trying to be realistic? I couldn't tell, but I knew I shouldn't have said it.
Lost in these thoughts, I dozed off during the practical class, right next to Rena.
I woke up when my friend Maun nudged me awake. That nap had been surprisingly refreshing. I looked around but didn't see Rena—she must have left. I had meant to talk to her about the class representative thing. Oh well, I'll probably run into her later.
I joined my friends at the cafeteria, just chilling and having fun. Days passed by, and I kept forgetting to talk to Rena. Every time during practicals, I was either sleeping or on my phone.
After class, I was asked to stay back for a meeting. It was boring, but I didn't have much of a choice. Once the meeting ended, I caught up with Rena on our way home.
"Hey, Rena, wait up," I called out.
She glanced back and stopped, "Oh, Ashan."
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about something."
"What could that be?" she asked, curious.
"Would you want to change roles?" I asked.
"You mean?" she raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, do you want to be the class representative? After the first semester, we have the option to switch if we want to."
"So, you'd take my place then?" she inquired.
"Well, I was actually thinking you could take over as class representative," I clarified.
"Why are you asking me that? You could just step down and let whoever wants the role take it," she replied, a bit puzzled.
"Well, to be honest, I can feel the death glares every time I fall asleep in practical class. I'm sure you've wondered how a class representative could be so careless."
"So, you slept despite knowing what I was thinking?" she asked, her tone slightly incredulous.
"Yeah… at first, I thought it was just an assumption, but in the end, it didn't really matter to me," I admitted with a shrug.
"What do you mean by that?" she asked, clearly intrigued.
"I don't really care what others think of me. As long as the people I'm close to like me, the rest of the world's opinion doesn't bother me. Do you think that's rude?" I asked, half-jokingly.
"It is, especially when you say it like that to my face, but it's fine," she responded with a small smile. "I don't agree with you on that, so it doesn't matter."
"Exactly," I nodded.
"So, what does this have to do with you wanting me to be the class rep?" she asked, getting back to the point.
"Well, I know how much you value the position and that you really want it. Honestly, I think you're a better fit for the role than I am," I confessed.
There was a brief silence between us.
"Is that so?" she finally said.
"Yup. I'd feel better if you took over, and you'd be the final class rep, too," I added with a grin.
"Sure, I can do that," she agreed. "But before that, you've still got a semester left, so you better do the work—or at least some of it."
"Sounds like a pain, but I guess I can't avoid it. Please help me out with this stuff, though—I really have no clue what I'm doing," I admitted, half-seriously.
"Of course, that's what being an ACR is all about," she said, giving me a reassuring nod.
We parted ways after that, heading in our separate directions. I felt like we'd broken a little ice that day, something subtle but significant.
After that, every day during practicals, I try to catch some sleep, but Rena always scolds me for dozing off. She even threatens not to help me with any after-class work if I keep it up. I start to feel a little regret for casually promising that I'd fulfill my responsibilities as class representative...
Days passed by smoothly. I come back home by 3 PM, and the first thing I do is text Tsula. My thoughts during class and on my way home are often about what she's doing or what she's up to. Texting her has long since become a necessity for me. I still find time to play games with my friends—it's more fun when played together—and I watch a lot of anime. I really wish Tsula would watch anime someday too. That would give us even more to talk about.
As for the situation around my PG, things are going fine. There's this rumor going around that our warden sees visions in her dreams, and whatever she sees comes true. The funny thing is, once she dreamed of one of our ex-hostel mates running around naked, and it actually happened! Apparently, that guy drank for the first time in his life, got so drunk that he stripped and passed out. When the warden saw his clothes on the floor the next morning, she knew it was just like her dream, and she gave him a good scolding.
But that's not all. The warden's had other visions too and warned others about them. Another rumor says that everyone who stays in this hostel experiences a ghost sighting or sleep paralysis at least once. So far, everyone who's stayed here has had one, and I can't help but wonder if I will too, though I hope I never do.
One time at the hostel, I almost got into a fight with one of my mates. I'd just come back from college, and when I got to my room, one of them asked if I wanted tea. Jokingly, I said, "If you're willing to give, sure, I'll take it." He got mad, saying I didn't respect him and that I always talked to him rudely. I thought he was just joking at first, but he was really upset. Things escalated, and it almost turned into a confrontation, but thankfully, the others stepped in to calm him down.
Later, he came back and apologized. I don't hold any grudge against him—he's a good guy who always looks out for everyone, so there's no way I could hate him. But it got me thinking. I asked others if I come across as rude, and they said yes, I do. I realized I don't know how to talk to people properly. I thought I was just joking around like guys do, but I guess I was doing it wrong or at the wrong time. I still struggle with understanding boundaries, but I hope I can improve on that.
Thinking about it, I remember all the times I played mean pranks on Tsula and made jokes at her expense. She always laughed it off, but I wonder if she was ever really hurt and just didn't show it. Still, I'm grateful she's stayed by my side despite everything. Even though I once said that being just friends wouldn't be enough for us to stay together, I genuinely wish from the bottom of my heart that her company is the only one I have for eternity.