I closed my eyes tightly and swallowed hard before biting my lips and trying to control the nervous feeling in my chest, my heartbeat was pounding and getting ahead of me. This was happening. There was no turning back now. I could do this. Not like I planned to turn back. I wouldn't. I couldn't. I made up my mind. This was my last chance to make my father's pack proud, to prove to my father having a girl wasn't the biggest mistake of his life.
Get it together, Blaire.
"Aren't you just the cutest thing?" the older woman, Emilia, stated as she put the last braid down my hair, forming a decent amount of braids on my dark hair. When she was satisfied with how lovely it looked and fitted my face, she began to put the hair mousse and vanilla fragrance conditioner into my hair strategically arranging my braids and laying my baby hairs into edges. "You'll get picked for sure." Deep breaths, Blaire. This is what you want. You want to be picked.
I licked my dry lips, "I hope you're right."
Emilia placed a hand on my shoulder. "Oh, sweet, of course, I am, look at you! And this dress! It has to be the best one out there tonight."
I looked down at the white petals and pearls dress I was wearing. It was the best gown I had ever worn in my entire life, the only thing I could afford at the first-class store that would work for this occasion. I could only hope they looked past my father's name and looked at this lovely dress and saw me for what I was.
Desperate and frustrated.
I was frustrated. I was desperate. Which is why I applied for the Bind and Pack match without my father's knowledge. I needed out from under his hold, I needed freedom, and I needed the validation that my life mattered so much more than my father believed. I needed the assurance that I am so much more than what anyone could have thought of me.
"Have they explained how this works? Once payment is submitted, there is no turning back. You made the pact and paid for it," Emilia elaborated.
"I understand." I understood completely that once their money hit my account, I was considered my new husband's goods. I had to abide by their house rules and live the life they chose for me. Not like that was any different than the life I was forced to live inside the walls of my father's house.
Someone knocked on the door of the room alerting us it was time, and all the surrounding girls giggled nervously as they chattered about what their future husband might be like and sent up wishes and prayers for a handsome new husband who knew how to take them to bed well. I wanted to roll my eyes at the ideocracy and stupidity of it all. I just wanted my freedom and space m while all these women could think about was their future husband's cock.
After lining up, we were led to a stage with lights so bright I had to shut my eyes. After my eyes adjusted, I stared out into the room full of men standing below, looking at the woman on stage with hungry, lustful eyes and possessive gleams.
You can do this, Blaire. You've come too far to back down now.
Come far, I meant the money I secretly saved to pay the fees for the application form required to be accepted into the Pack Match. Not to mention the deception and breaking of house law to my family, the sneaking out during the dark and leaving them nothing they could use to find me. They couldn't find me, at least not until everything was official and my father couldn't use his power in his pack to control me.