Julia sat cross-legged on the bed, her arms crossed and her face flushed with frustration. The room was dimly lit, with the only source of light coming from a small lamp on the bedside table. Hima and Olive sat on either side of her, their expressions a mix of concern and amusement.
"Julia, you couldn't confess your feelings after all?" Hima asked, her voice teasing yet sympathetic.
"I couldn't help it," Julia replied, her voice tinged with irritation. Her cheeks puffed slightly as she pouted, a mix of embarrassment and frustration showing on her face.
Hima sighed, shaking her head. "That's pathetic," she said bluntly.
"B-But I tried my best," Julia protested, her voice wavering slightly. "Even after I got interrupted, I tried to find the right moment again..."
Hima raised an eyebrow. "If you were serious about confessing your feelings, you should have proposed despite the interruptions. Even if someone bit your hand to stop you, you should have kept going. Aren't you secretly glad you couldn't confess?"
Julia winced at the directness of Hima's words. It felt like a punch to the gut. Despite the disappointment of not confessing, there was indeed a small part of her that felt relieved. The thought of rejection had always loomed large in her mind.
"I... I don't know," Julia mumbled, her eyes downcast.
Hima leaned in closer, her tone softening slightly. "Julia, why didn't you confess back in school?"
Julia's gaze shifted to the floor, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. "Well... back then, I was rebelling against my father's arranged marriages and trying to become an adventurer. I thought it would be a burden to confess my feelings to Lucan when I wasn't even sure about my own future."
"And what about the five years after graduation without any contact?" Hima pressed. "You've made up with your family, haven't you?"
"I-I thought I should become a full-fledged adventurer first, to secure my livelihood and income..." Julia's voice grew quieter, as if the excuses she was making were losing their strength even in her own mind.
"And when you reunited in this town, you didn't even make a proper approach, let alone confess?" Hima's eyes narrowed in disbelief.
Julia bit her lip, her frustration mounting. "Because the white fox was always around... it kept interrupting every moment we had together."
"Sure, that white fox has interfered in various ways, but what about day you and he go out together? At that time there was no interruptions," Hima voice was voice firm but not unkind. "If you were determined, you could have done something, right?"
Julia groaned and turned her face away, unable to meet Hima's gaze. The words stung because they were true.
"Coward," Olive murmured from the other side of the bed, her voice quiet but cutting through the silence like a knife.
Julia slumped further, her shoulders drooping as both Hima and Olive hit the nail on the head. She had been looking for excuses, hiding behind them to avoid facing her true feelings.
"But... if I confess and get rejected, it would ruin our current relationship, and I wouldn't be able to face him anymore," Julia admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
"And you've been silent for five years? Which mouth is saying that now?" Hima retorted, her tone exasperated.
"Coward," Olive said again, her expression impassive, but her words were like tiny daggers, piercing through Julia's defenses.
"B-But... I act all tough and rude when I see him. I think he hates me..." Julia's voice trembled as she spoke, her usual bravado crumbling.
"He may not hate you, but you haven't made any progress either!" Hima pointed out, her patience wearing thin. "You're just stuck in this endless loop of indecision."
"Coward," Olive repeated, her one-word commentary driving the point home.
Julia's eyes filled with tears as she realized the truth in their words. She had been hiding, using her own fears and insecurities as a shield.
Lucan wasn't getting any younger; he was likely considering his future. What if he found someone else? What if she lost her chance forever?
"Julia," Hima said gently, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Are you okay with Lucan ending up with someone else?"
"No way," Julia whispered, her voice cracking as she admitted the thought that had haunted her for so long.
"Then you understand, right?" Hima's voice was kind but firm, urging her friend to take action.
Julia bit her lip, her heart racing as she stood up. "Alright... I'll propose to Lucan!" she declared, her voice shaking but determined.
"That's the spirit!" Hima cheered, a smile finally breaking through her serious expression.
"Next year!" Julia continued, her voice growing more confident. "I'll polish myself as a woman, work hard, save up for the wedding... and next year, I'll definitely confess and propose!"
Hima's smile froze, her face twitching as she realized Julia's plan was to procrastinate even further. "Next year?" she echoed, her voice incredulous.
"Coward," Olive said for the final time, her voice barely above a whisper, but it carried the weight of truth.
Julia, realizing what she had just said, slumped back onto the bed, her face buried in her hands. She had resolved to take action but had immediately fallen back into old habits.