Author Note: We are back to the normal order, sorry for the previous mistake.
And like always, remember if you want to read up to 42 chapters ahead go to https://www.patreón.com/cornbringer
I'm currently updating the novel 1 or 2 chapter a day in patreeeeon. On chapter 104 right now.
Discord invite: https://discord.gg/XHduApz
Enjoy you sexy bastards.
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[Arata Takeshi - POV.]
I returned to the Tower, waiting for my team at the designated meeting point. Itachi was the first one to arrive, calmly asking me if I had really executed over twenty people. After explaining why and how that had come to happen, he seemed mostly curious as to why Suna was targeting me, of all people.
Which was honestly, a good question.
As far as the world knew, I had no kekkei genkai, no special ability other than my natural talent, so killing me made… no sense, from a military point of view. If they really wanted to weaken the village, and the reason behind them targeting me was such, their targets should've been Itachi or Shisui, not me.
Then again, there was the second possibility, that they weren't targeting me for the sake of hurting the village, but for revenge. But considering I hadn't done a thing to Suna until today, that meant that my parents must have wronged them in some way, killing someone important or something similar.
"By the way," Itachi began, turning to look at me. "Did Mito put a stuffed animal in your weapon's pouch as well, or was it just with me?"
Smiling, my hand instinctively went to my weapon pouch, and, reaching inside, my fingers brushed against the small teddy bear. "She did… she put Mr. Teddy in my pouch. What about you?"
Itachi's lips curled up into an amused smile. "She gave me Mr. Cat and Mr. Dog with a note that said to give Mr. Dog to Shisui."
"Did you give Mr. Dog to Shisui?" I chuckled.
"Of course," Itachi responded, nodding as if I was crazy to expect otherwise. "Mito would have been upset if I hadn't."
I laughed, shaking my head. "I realized Mr. Teddy was with me a few hours ago… I hadn't really used my kunais until then."
"You threw Mr. Teddy at someone, didn't you?" Itachi asked, his onyx eyes glinting with mirth.
"How can you ask that?! I would never!" I was about to deny further, but the sly grin on Itachi's face stopped me. "Alright, I did… in my defense, Mr. Teddy should've been a kunai," I chuckled. "So it was unintentional!"
Itachi chuckled. "I can imagine their surprise, seeing a teddy bear flying at them instead of a kunai."
"They were very confused," I laughed, feeling Shisui's chakra approaching from the distance.
"Speaking of confusion," Itachi mused, letting out a sigh, "We might need to have a word with Mito about her new habit."
"Agreed." I laughed lightly. As adorable as this little event had been, it also brought a few concerns to my mind. Mito was far too young to be messing around with our weapons without supervision. We had explosive tags in our pouches, and many other dangerous things.
The explosive tags alone required only a bit of chakra to be activated… meaning she could activate the tags by just brushing against them without even knowing. We couldn't ignore this situation any longer; we had to take measures to keep her safe.
"Hello~" Shisui appeared from the shadows of a nearby tree, a goofy grin lighting his face. In his hand was a stuffed animal—Mr. Cat—swinging lightly from its tail. "Mr. Cat and the awesome Shisui reporting for duty!"
"You took your time…" I replied, smirking at him. "It seems Itachi and I beat you in the race…"
Shisui scoffed, rolling his eyes at us. "Mediocrity takes no time, my friends, but perfection requires patience." He twirled Mr. Cat by the tail, his grin taking on a cocky edge. "While you two were content with massacring your opponents or defeating them as fast as possible, I took the better approach! The ultimate approach! By hurting them where time alone doesn't heal! Mentally~"
Well… that was slightly creepy.
"Mentally…" Itachi repeated.
"Indeed, Tachi Tachi, after what I did, there isn't a single therapist in the elemental nations capable of dealing with the trauma I gave my victims today," Shisui continued, his voice twisted with a touch of glee that was uncharacteristically dark for him. "They'll never forget the sight of this little fella," he gestured to Mr. Cat with an evil grin, "delivering their defeat, that and the countless pranks I pulled on them for my own amusement."
"Please clean Mr. Cat before returning it to my little sister," Itachi replied, ignoring Shisui's theatrics. "I am very particular about the state of her belongings. And if you used Mr. Cat to fight, it means it's very dirty."
"Aye aye, captain." Shisui saluted, still grinning like a man possessed.
"So, what scrolls do we use?" I asked.
"Does it really matter?" Shisui shrugged. "We have every scroll they handed out, so… just open one of each, and all good."
I nodded, then reached into the bag at my side and withdrew two scrolls, a Heaven scroll and an Earth scroll. Now, all that was left to do was open them both at the same time, and wait for whoever was assigned to us to be summoned before continuing. "Alright then, here goes nothing."
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[Mr. Yamato - POV.]
The moment I was summoned to the tower, I had a pretty good idea of what to expect. After all, I'd already received some interesting reports from the Hokage and the Anbu. But nothing, and I mean nothing, prepared me for the sight of my three little brats standing there with smug looks on their faces.
Itachi, always so calm and collected, with that slight, infuriating smirk. Shisui, looking like he'd just had the time of his life, as if he wasn't the cause of an impending diplomatic incident. And then there was Takeshi, who—oh, for the love of all things holy—was he holding a teddy bear? Wait… they're all holding stuffed animals?!
I stared at them, my eye twitching. I could almost feel my blood pumping into my brain trying to give me an aneurysm. "Are you insane, you little shits?!! WHY DID YOU DEFEAT EVERY TEAM IN THE FOREST?"
Shisui looked at me, shrugging. "Well, Sensei, it seemed like the most efficient way to ensure our victory."
"Haha! Efficient, he says! You annihilated the competition! Literally!" I snapped, throwing my hands up in the air. "You know, there's a fine line between winning, making the village look good, and making it look like Konoha was killing every other participant to undermine the other villages?! Do you even realize what you've done?!"
Itachi blinked, tilting his head, "We just wanted to make sure we advanced, Sensei. There was no point in leaving it to chance. Besides, if the other villages find it hard to believe we did all this, we are more than happy to recreate these results in an environment of their choosing."
"Environment of their… Leaving it to chance? ITACHI! The entire point of the Chunin Exams is for shinobi villages that are on friendly terms to show off the talent of their newest generation! Not to decimate every single one of them before the final round!" I could feel my blood pressure rising with every word. The other Jonins were going to kill me. No, scratch that—I was going to kill me if this kept up.
"And what the hell is that?" I pointed at the teddy bear in Takeshi's hand, my eye twitching uncontrollably.
Takeshi looked down at the teddy bear and then back at me, with the most innocent expression I've ever seen on a kid who'd just defeated an entire forest's worth of ninjas. "Oh, this? The little princess packed it for me. It's my good luck charm."
Good luck charm.
I took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of my nose. "So let me get this straight. You three not only decided to strategically—and I use the word strategically very loosely—eliminate every other team in the Forest of Death, but you all did so… with a stuffed animal as your mascot?"
"Pretty much," Takeshi said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Itachi just nodded, and Shisui gave me a thumbs-up.
I could feel my sanity slowly slipping away. Shisui was supposed to be the crazy one, and these two the salt to his sugar, but… no, they were all crazy. "You three are going to be the death of me…"
Takeshi just shrugged. "I'm sure you'll be fine, Sensei. Besides, we were just following your instructions."
I gaped at them. "My... instructions?" I… was very close to stabbing my little genin, feeling both prideful about his accomplishment today and angry.
"Yeah," Shisui said, a grin still plastered on his face. "You told us to give it our all, so we did."
I opened my mouth to argue, but then just sighed in defeat. "I need a vacation. Or a drink. Or both… No, no, scratch that, I need to retire."