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Chapter 18 - The Price of Letting Go

Charlotte's POV

I left Kimi alone in the hotel room, the door clicking shut behind me as I stepped out into the dimly lit corridor. Clutching my suitcase tightly in one hand, I felt a whirlwind of emotions churning within me. I knew deep down that I was wrong for making this decision. I shouldn't have walked away after that unforgettable, passionate night we had shared. It was a night that had held so much meaning for both of us — a night when she had entrusted me with her virginity. The weight of that moment pressed heavily on my conscience. I was leaving her heartbroken, and the thought of it made my chest ache painfully.

This is life, I reminded myself, though it felt cold and unyielding in this moment. Kimi had to accept the harsh reality that I would only bring her pain and suffering. My mind was flooded with memories as I stumbled down the corridor, my suitcase dragging along behind me as if it were a physical manifestation of my guilt. Each step echoed with the laughter we had shared, the whispers in the early morning light, and the tenderness of her touch. The image of Kimi, vulnerable and heartbroken, haunted me, and I nearly crumpled to the ground under the weight of it.

Falling to my knees in the quiet solitude of the hallway, I clutched my suitcase as if it were an anchor pulling me back from the precipice of emotional despair. Imagining her crying, tears flowing down her cheeks, broke my heart into a thousand irreparable pieces. But in my mind, there was no other choice. I had to protect her from the darkness that surrounded me. If I didn't leave her, if I didn't sever the ties that bound us, I was certain that I would only lead her to more suffering, more anguish. I couldn't bear the thought of being the cause of her pain.

I told myself that she would be better off without me. She was full of light and hope, while I felt like a shadow, dragging her down into my abyss. I could hear the echoes of her laughter, feel the warmth of her embrace, and each memory was a dagger in my heart. I couldn't let her become entangled in the chaos that was my life. So, with a deep breath and a heavy heart, I turned away from what could have been the start of something beautiful and walked into the uncertain path ahead, hoping that she would one day understand why I had to leave.

"I guess you do listen after all," said an annoying voice, dripping with condescension. It was the sort of tone that made my skin crawl, the kind that insinuated I was somehow less than what I should be.

"I've left her, what more do you want, Mom?" I replied, my voice strained, the pain I felt cutting through like a knife. The words hung in the air, heavy with emotion. I could tell that my mother was unwilling to let it go, perhaps hoping to elicit some sort of response that would validate her incessant nagging.

"You are a good girl after all. Now, like a good girl, take your luggage and put it in the trunk," she instructed, her voice flat and devoid of warmth. It felt more like an order than a suggestion, and any hint of compassion in her words had vanished. Reluctantly, I gathered my things, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders as I walked to the back of the car.

I opened the trunk and placed my luggage inside, the sound of the zippers closing echoing the finality of my departure. Climbing into the back seat of the car, I settled in, my eyes fixated on the blur of the world outside the window. Everything felt surreal as the familiar landscape morphed into an unfocused backdrop of memories and unresolved feelings.

With an impassive expression, my mom slid into the driver's seat, flicked the ignition, and with a jolt, the car roared to life. She pulled out of the driveway, and I watched as my childhood home diminished in the distance, swallowed by the shadows of trees and the encroaching clouds. My heart ached, and tears threatened to spill, each drop of sadness burning my eyelids like tiny embers.

"You've become weak," my mother remarked, her words cutting through the silence like a razor. I couldn't bring myself to respond; all I could do was continue staring out the window, a tidal wave of emotions bubbling beneath the surface. I felt as if I were being trapped in a box, suffocated by expectations and judgments that were not mine to bear. The world outside was moving forward, yet inside, I felt frozen, as if I were both there and somewhere else entirely.