Anna's POV:
Pressing my head closely to Edward's, while his arm pressed me protectively against his side, I could hear the disgusting metallic screeching and ripping through the head set of the cell.
So far everything was going according to the plan. My subconscious was relieved but it did make me feel a little uneasy how tense Edward's body felt against my own.
His worried dark pools of gold were rapidly searching the area around us then he would close them reaching out with his thoughts but every time he opened them again the scowl on his marble face darkened which meant one thing; he was not able to make out Victoria's thoughts.
The time ticked slowly away as we sat huddled together on the fallen tree while the morning sun fully rose from behind the mountains and the screeching sounds of Vampire flesh being ripped apart diminished further and further until no battle noises were transmitted over the cell.
Glancing at the expensive looking watch at Edward's wrist I saw that it was quarter to six and there was still no sign of Victoria.
The sinister seeming mist had dissolved and only a few patches of white flocks reminded of the raging snow storm the night before though the tops of the tall trees where glistering and sparkling when a rare sunray hit the snow and ice crystals.
"Where is she?" I whispered feeling anxious and worried. I had no idea if it was a good or a bad sign that she did not show up yet.
"That's what I like to know as well." Jane bit out annoyed as she suddenly appeared in front of Edward and me.
"I don't know." Edward sighed driving his hand through his hair in frustration.
"You said she would be here." Jane pressed.
"She was supposed to." Edward groused.
"Your little psychic….."
"Alice's visions are subjective. She only sees one of many possible ways. When someone changes their mind last minute she is not able to see this." Edward shook his head.
The little Vampire growled at him and her face pinched with rage until her body was vibrating with fury and she looked like she would explode as Edward jumped to his feet and crouched defensively in front of me.
His eyes were trained on her and a warning growl only left his lips whenever her ruby, in rage glowing, pools would stray to me.
"Jane!" Demitri's voice echoed, a second later, warningly among the trees.
Her hands balled to tight fists at her sides and she clenched her jaw before her suddenly coal black eyes glared murderously at her colleague.
Whoa, what a temper! My subconscious shuddered, staring at her in morbid fascination.
"Where is she?" Jane snarled at Alice who had stepped up from behind a thick, old tree together with Jasper who placed himself protectively in front of his wife and Demitri who looked curiously and slightly confused at Edward and me.
"I don't know I can't see her." The pixie defended herself.
"Try harder." The other pixie growled.
"Jane." Demitri gave a stern look as if to remind her not to lose her patience that quickly.
"Victoria did not show up." Edward answered Jasper's questioning look and surely also his thoughts.
"Maybe she sensed the trap and ran for the hills?" I shrugged offering an explanation.
Jane growled and glared furiously at me while Edward tensed beside me, huffing she suddenly punched the tree at her right and blasted a hole into the trunk with her fist.
"One of the newborns is still alive. Maybe she can tell us more about this Victoria." Demitri murmured. Jane hissed at him briefly being highly upset before she took off and disappeared out of my sight.
Edward turned around to face and the second his eyes locked with mine the hard and guarded expression disappeared only to be replaced by a warm and loving smile.
"I did it again, didn't I?" I whispered.
"Yes," he nodded while the smile on his lips turned smug and his amber depths melted into me. They anchored as they shone with pride, warmth, satisfaction, gratefulness and love.
I had no idea why but suddenly my face started to warm and my heart to beat faster under his intense gaze and I averted my eyes away from his. Biting my bottom lip I felt him taking a step closer to me and my eyes snapped back to his as he touched my arm.
"Are you coming?" The tracker raised an eyebrow at Edward, ripping us out of our moment, when we made no move to follow them.
Bobbing his head and sighing in defeat the Vampire next to me pulled me onto his back while Alice went to get the backpack and we all made our way to the battle field near the river.
Already from afar I could hear the ear-piercing screams and wails of an unfortunate soul; alerting me to the fact that Jane was letting her frustration out on whoever had not been lucky enough to be killed yet.
When we arrived in the clearing the screaming intensified and a body arch stiffly into a distorted, unnatural position. Emmett held Rosalie close to him while Esme buried her head in Carlisle's shoulder.
The wind blew strongly into my face as I covered my ears and grit my teeth at the horrible sight in front of me. Edward stepped closer to me. His left arm went around my waist and he pressed me into his side. Angling himself so that he was slightly shielding me with his body from the aggressive, frosty wind.
But there was nothing he could do about the sticky sweet scent of the burning Vampire flesh that caused my stomach to turn and made me want to throw up. I pressed the sleeve of Emmett's jacket over my ski mask clad face trying to filter the air more before taking it in into my body only through my mouth.
"Jane, you are going to fry her brain and you know how damn long it takes for that to heal." Demitri sighed in annoyance.
Shooting him an angry glare she pixie stopped her torture and crossed her arms over her chest waiting impatiently for the poor girl, that was panting, coughing and moaning while she writhed on the ground, to gather herself.
"Where is Victoria?" Jane barked barely containing her fury.
Fearfully the girl looked up at her, confusion clearly written across her face. It was this moment that I saw that the one who had survived was Bree.
Seems like some things are just meant to happen. My subconscious shrugged helplessly and looked sadly at the poor girl on the ground.
My heart squeezed for Bree who would find a brutal end very soon.
"Who?" She cringed, terrified that her ignorance might bring on another round of torture. "I don't know anyone by the name Victoria I'm sorry." She cried out hurriedly and closed her eyes in anticipation of her punishment.
"Wasn't she the one who created you?" Jane sneered at her while a pleased look flashed up in her crimson eyes. She clearly enjoyed being feared.
"I don't know," she said, flinching again. "Riley never said her name. I didn't see that night …. it was so dark, and it hurt. . . ." Bree shuddered. "He didn't want us to be able to think of her. He said that our thoughts weren't safe. . . ."
Jane's eyes flickered to Edward, and then back to the girl.
"Tell me about Riley," Jane said. "Why did he bring you here?"
"Riley told us that we had to destroy the strange yellow-eyes here," Bree babbled quickly and willingly. "He said it would be easy. He said that the city was theirs, and they were coming to get us. He said once they were gone, all the blood would be ours. He gave us her scent."
Bree lifted one hand and stabbed a finger in my direction. Luckily Edward made sure that we stood against the wind so she could not pick up my scent but guess my heartbeat was enough to make her believe I was the target.
"He said we would know that we had the right coven, because she would be with them. He said whoever got to her first could have her." Edward tensed beside me.
"She may wants revenge badly but she clearly is not suicidal and she seems to be smart as well." Demitri pointed out sounding tired. "The human might be right," he glanced quickly at me, "she could have sensed the trap and deemed it not worth the risk."
Trembling in rage Jane looked at the newborn Bree. "Felix, take care of that." She spat.
"We could teach…." Carlisle began but was cut off by a violent glare from the little Miss Volturi.
Her patience definitely had run out. My subconscious noted with a pinched face.
The giant was only too eager to followe her instructions. When he moved closer to the panicked and frightened Bree I closed my eyes, covered my ears and pressed my face into Edward shoulder while he pulled me tightly into his embrace. In vain trying to shield me from was about to happen.
I hated the high-pitched shrieks of pain and the disgusting metallic ripping noises which invaded my ears and announced Bree's death.
"What are we going to do about this Victoria and her minion?" Felix asked after he lit Bree's remains on fire while Jane was glaring at Alice.
"She seemed to know exactly how to outmanoeuvre your visions … how can she posses such an insider knowledge?"
"Because of the third member of their coven. His name was Laurent. He and one of our cousins from Alaska became … serious …. He gathered information about us conveyed it to Victoria and disappeared ever since." Carlisle answered gravely.
"You should seriously reconsider our relations with that coven if they so easily give away any vital information about you." Demitri frowned as he looked at Carlisle.
"It is going to rain in a few minutes her scent will be washed away before we can even find it." Edward responded to something Jane was thinking and obviously she did not like what had told her.
"I hate this wet hell hole." She growled and looked at the heap of lightly burning limbs ahead of her. Purple smoke hung over the entire area. The smaller heaps had already burned out and only ashes was left of the once so powerful but inexperienced and wrongly guided newborn army.
The Cullen's looked confused, unsure and extremely worried as their golden pools switched from one family member to another. No one seemed to have an idea how to proceed from here.
"Well, there is nothing we can do about it now, but she'll come back ….. eventually," Alec spoke up for the first time and then glanced at me, "she wants her dead after all."
Edward's face hardened and he glared at Alec who merely rolled his eyes, amused by Edward's reaction.
"Alec is right," Demitri said looking directly at Jane, "we should get them to Volterra and then the Masters can decide what to do about this Victoria."
She sighed in annoyance but bobbed her head sharply.
(*.*)
"Do you think we will come back?" I asked Carlisle when he parked his black Mercedes in front of Charlie's house. The Chief had requested to talk to either Esme or Carlisle about the trip to Europe when I delivered the news at him on Wednesday.
After a few moments of silence my eyes strayed from the front door of the house where this long, exhausting journey that was nowhere near over yet, had begun to the blond Vampire's serious looking face.
"To be honest I don't know," he sighed, "I can only hope that Aro will understand our reasoning for lying to his people … but…." he trailed off.
Smiling sadly I reached out to squeeze his cool marble hand. His kind amber pools snapped to mine and he smiled back a little.
"Alright let's do this." I said after taking a deep breath and prepared myself to lie straight into the Chief's face.
Needless to say that Jane had not been particularly fond of this trip. After failing to catch Victoria her mood was extremely sour.
Thankfully Demitri took her with him for one final sweep over Seattle, to check out the hiding spots of the newborns to make sure that Victoria was indeed not in the area anymore.
Guess he just hopes for a lucky strike. My subconscious shrugged. Or he does not want to anger his Masters by not doing his job thoroughly.
Getting out of the warm car I shuddered as the cold evening air hit my skin.
"Anna, are you alright?" Carlisle asked as he came up behind me.
"Yeah, I'm just a little worried. I really hope they won't actually find Victoria in Seattle."
"Alice still sees us going to Italy as Aro's guests and not prisoners of the Volturi." He reassured me while I felt a little jumpy about this journey.
Giving myself a mental shake I put a smile on my face and knocked on Charlie's door, thankful that the family stealing witch was still in La Push because I had no mind to deal with her again that soon after our last confrontation.
"Hey kiddo," the Chief greeted me with a smile on his face, "Doctor Cullen," he nodded in greeting, "come in."
"Hey dad, we are ready for the Spanish inquisition." I quipped while I took off my coat.
"Hey, my daughter is leaving the country, what do you expect!" Charlie protested mockingly.
"Hi, Anna nice to see you again," Sue smiled warmly at me as she walked out of Charlie's kitchen.
When she moved closer I could tell that she looked tired and worn but when she saw the Vampire standing next to me her face started to glow in gratitude.
"Doctor Cullen," her voice was chocked with emotions what left me pretty confused as well as the tears that she desperately tried to blink away.
"I just made dinner." She blurted out when she noticed Charlie's curious gaze but suddenly her eyes widened and she threw a worried glance at Carlisle as if she just then remembered what he was.
"You are going to love Sue's meatloaf." Charlie stated ushering us into the kitchen.
Yep, sure he will! My subconscious giggled heartily and then raised her eyebrow at Sue in question.
The good Doctor smiled politely at his predicament, Alice had warned him in advance, but still I caught the defeated sigh when Sue and Charlie weren't looking.
Dinner was amusing and it was quite interesting to watch how Carlisle dodged every single bite on his fork while Sue and I tried our best to keep Charlie distracted. It did not escape my notice that every now and then the Chief would throw a worried glance at Sue.
I had no idea when it happened but at the end of dinner Charlie and Carlisle were absorbed into a conversation about fishing.
"I recently bought the Okuma Guide Select ….." The Chief's voice driffted off when he and a genuinely interested Vampire went to eye up Charlie's collection of fishing rods.
Laughing I shook my head as I gazed after them.
Carlisle seems to like fishing? Who would have thought? My subconscious shrugged.
"Anna." Sue called for my attention when the both men were out of earshot, well at least one of them.
"Yeah," I turned around to look at her.
"I take it, it went well?" She asked a little nervously.
"Yeah, it did though Victoria didn't show up …. We have no idea what happened." I sighed being worried about the unsolved revenge-angle-from-hell situation.
"That is actually the reason why I came here."
Curiously my brows furrowed together.
Sue sighed heavily before she spoke.
"I have no idea what Jake was thinking … actually I do but that does not matter now …..what happened is that he did not take Bella to the old Hanson timber mill where Quil and Embry were waiting for them but instead and without the knowledge of the others he went to a hideout in the opposite direction…"
I blinked dumbly at her.
"This Victoria and the other Vampire," she whispered that word, "found them and by the time the others had arrived Jake was half dead …. If not for the physician Doctor Cullen had organised Jake wouldn't have made it."
I opened and closed my mouth as I stared at her but I was lost for words. Of course I knew that Jacob hated Edward and the Cullen's but I had no idea that it went that far as to risk his and another life just because the lifesaving information was provided by the people he despised.
Oh my that pup. My subcounscious shook her head in sad defeat, having no hope for him any longer.
"I know it's wrong and I feel horrible about it but all I could think when I saw his broken and blood drenched body when he lay there ….. was how thankful I was that that was not Seth or Leah." She sobbed desperately brushing a few tears off her face.
"Sue," I whsiepred taking a step closer to her but she held a hand up letting me know that she needed a minute.
"He is going to be alright?" I questioned carefully after a moment.
Quickly dashing the last stray tear from her cheek she firmly nodded her head.
"The Doctor did a great job ….. it looked critical for a few hours but now he is stable. There is no permanent damage as far as I can tell."
I bobbed my head.
"And Victoria?"
"Sam and the others killed her and the other one." I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face as relief flooded me and I sighed, feeling about the tone lighter.
"I just want you to know how every grateful we are, especially Billy." She said looking at me but I knew that it was directed at Carlisle.
After that silence stretched between us and I nervously bounced on the balls of my feet before I started to clear the table to busy myself while Sue stood in the corner of the kitchen and I could feel her gaze burning a hold into my head.
"Anna," she spoke up when I had started to put the plates into the sink. Cranking my neck I looked curiously at her.
"Jake is really hurt and normally I wouldn't have left his side but I wanted to thank Doctor Cullen personally or as close as I got to do that though t-there is also another reason I'm here," She stuttered the last part and looked disorganised as if she did not know, or was not sure how, or if, she should voice whatever was on her mind.
Briefly glancing at the ground she took a deep breath and looked back up at me. Fire burned in her dark eyes.
"I really don't want to make things harder on you than they already are and … I know that I have no right to….. but ….. Charlie cares a lot about you." Her eyes pleaded with me to understand before she gazed, seemingly lost in thought, at the small kitchen table behind me.
"Charlie does not talk about his feeling or such stuff usually but last week …. We had dinner and suddenly he surprised me by telling me how much it pained him that you had to move out of his house for the both of you to actually talk to each other, to have a real father-daughter relationship." She shook her head as her voice shook with emotions.
"You have no idea what the meals you have together at the diner mean to him and you actually really let him in into your life."
My throat tightened and my heart squeezed painfully in my ribcage as I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at the ground.
"I'm sorry. I know you have more than enough to deal with already and what I am doing here is not fair to you ….. it's just … I know I have no right to ask this of you but if you somehow could please don't cut him out of your life completely."
"Sue," I looked up at her then, "I either die or become a Vampire. There are no other options."
Pain filled her eyes and she smiled sadly at me before she nodded.
"Maybe phone calls or e-mails are possible depending on what cover story we come up with …but I can't promise anything." I shrugged helplessly after a minute, not sure what was the best solution for this predicament.
I had really come to like Charlie and it did hurt to leave him behind. Though I hated Forks, well more like most people who lived here and treated me like crap or worse, and wanted to get away from this rainy town as fast as possible I would miss Charlie and Deb and her family.
Hearing Charlie's and Carlisle's voices coming closer both Sue and I hurried to clean the kitchen and tried our best act normal.
"Are you alright?" Charlie asked after eying her for a moment from the entrance to the kitchen while Carlisle stepped inside and came to stand beside me.
She shook her head and forced a smile on her face.
"Yes, …. It's just Leah had a bad day …. I should go back home now." Turning around she looked directly at the Vampire next to me.
"It was a pleasure meeting you Doctor Cullen." She said, her voice ringing with gratefulness and respect before she hurried out of the kitchen and Charlie went after her.
Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder and gazed questioningly at me but I only smiled at him and shook my head.
"She has been weird ever since she arrived here." The Chief mumbled thoughtfully after returning.
"Guess she and Leah had a little fall out …. But I'm sure everything is going to be OK soon," I lied smoothly and completed my act with a dismissive shrug of my shoulders before I moved closer to Charlie and pulled him into a hug.
His entire body tensed and after a few awkward seconds he patted my back.
"Well see you in a few days Chief." I smiled hugely at him.
Or maybe not. My subconscious reminded me.
"Yeah, just don't spend too much money." He said warningly with a dead serious look on his face.
"I'll keep that in mind." I laughed and soon Carlisle and I were on our way back home.
"At least we don't have to worry about Victoria anymore." I sighed looking out of the car window into the dark starlight lit sky.
"Thankfully," he agreed.
"And that man, the Doctor, you think he is safe?" I asked worriedly.
"Don't worry, Anna, Jenks knows what he does." Carlisle smiled warmly at me.
"And how will Aro react to that?" The words just slipped out of my mind.
It wasn't as if I did not trust the Cullen's to know what they did but my jittery nerves caused me to turn into quite a worrywart.
"Anna," he murmured my name warmly and placed his cool hand over mine before giving it a light squeeze.
"Sorry," I mumbled letting out a huge breath before my body slump into the big, comfy leather seat.
If you don't relax soon your hair will turn grey. My subconscious threatened with her left hand on her hip while shaking her right forefinger at me.
Once we arrived at the brightly lit house deep in the forest that shone like a star in the darkness of the night Edward was already awaiting us at the entrance of the garage.
His expression was serious and his eyes narrowed when he and Carlisle were having a silent conversation. Gritting his teeth he pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before letting go and shaking his head in obvious anger and disapproval.
When the garage door finally moved up Carlisle drove inside and Edward was immediately at my door. While Edward, ever the gentleman, help me out of the car his father already left the garage and the both of us alone.
"Everything alright here?" I smiled slightly at him choosing my words carefully since Felix stayed behind and did not go to Seattle with the others.
The mind reading Vampire sighed and bobbed his head though he was still in a sour mood. Holding his hand up, he grabbed my purse and dug my cell out before quickly typing something.
I would love to strangle that mutt. Has he any idea how bad that could have ended for all of us?
The darkness in his face grew with every second. Biting the inside of my lower lip I took my cell from his hand and typed my respond.
Awww… poor you! I bet you would love to vent out LOUD now! And maybe smash something?
His mouth popped open before his eyes narrowed into a frosty glare while I was eagerly typing.
But the good thing about this is that Victoria and Riley are dealt with. And honestly we have much bigger fishes to fry than an immature, irresponsible puppy that did pay for his stupidity.
Sighing he bobbed his head though he still did not look happy. His eyes were still narrowed though now cast on the ground in front of him and a petulant expression masked his marble face.
After I tugged my mobile safely away a strong cool hand reached for mine and gently enveloped my fingers. His intense golden pools shone into my own before his lips pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead and he pulled me with him out of the garage.
Third Person POV:
Thick droplets of heavy rain littered the old window of the guest room of Sam's and Emily's house. Bella watched the water run down the cool glass as the pale morning sun announced another day while she pondered what to do.
In the middle of the night she sneaked into the room where the injured Quileute boy was with a bowl of cold water and a small towel in hand. Dashing the sweat of his face and pressing the cool fabrics to his forehead she tried to make him as comfortable as possible.
She was struggling with guilt over what had happened to her best friend and the room was filled with quiet whispers of remorse while she cared for Jake.
But once, around the early morning hours, he had fallen into a deeper and peaceful sleep and rain had started to hit softly against the outer surfaces of the little house she was in the brunet's thoughts strayed away from her shape-shifting friend.
She had no idea what to do. Part of her wanted to grab her car keys and drive to the Cullen's to reveal herself to the Volturi guard in hopes of finally becoming a Vampire and getting her happily ever after with Edward in the end.
But there was this little coherent voice left in the back of her mind pointing out to her what a bad idea that was.
Would the Volturi let them both get turned?
Or would one of them have to die while the other got everything?
But what held her back was the fact that she knew that if Edward was presented with the choice he would sacrifice himself. He wouldn't allow either to get hurt.
Time. She mused. The brunet had not given up hope for her happy end with her Vampire. She prayed that after being with the other girl, as much as that hurt Bella, he would realise that he made a mistake and would comeback to her.
Even if it destroyed her heart in the process she would wait for him. This was how she had to atone from her sins.
Blinking her eyes once she lowered her gaze and saw Jacob sleeping soundly in the bed she had spend the night next to. His breathing was even and he even looked a little better than yesterday.
Though the cuts that normally took just a few hours to heal were still visible on his rusty skin. She supposed that the reason for the slow healing was the amount and gravity of the damage his body had to deal with.
Unshed tears prickled in her eyes when she looked at the boy who had risked his life for her while she was fantasising about become his mortal enemy and was crying out for another, though thankfully not out loud.
In moments like this the brunet felt like a monster. Like this horrible, selfish person she did not recognise.
She did care about Jacob and how could she not? Even in her darkest hour he could make her smile. He was and always would be her best friend, her sun… but she could never love him like he wanted to be loved by her.
He could never have her heart because the truth was that her heart was not hers anymore. It was Edward's …even if he did not want it –another slice across the brunet's soul that would leave an ugly scar- she couldn't help how she felt.
The hollow empty wound of loss burned in her chest as soul-shattering pain shook her tired body. Her spirit was significantly less pure, consumed by something dark.
Overwhelmed by pain and anguish familiar ugly emotions and thoughts assaulted her as hatred and jealously were raging wildly in her belly when she thought of the girl she had so badly wronged. Though she felt guilty for what she had done to Anna she couldn't help but hate her for what the female from the other world had taken from her.
First the clumsy girl had believed that the other girl was nice and genuine she had found no indication in the parallel universe to believe otherwise but with time going by and with each new emotional wound deep within, Bella came to think differently.
Having to watch helplessly how the other girl slowly took everyone she loved from her had awakened something dark and ugly inside the brunet and the day Edward ended things for good with Bella for the other girl let something inside her snap.
Edward was her hero, the love her of her life, her soul mate, they were meant for each other, no one could ever love him like the brunet did of that she was sure.
Bella had tried to warn Edward. She told him of her suspicion that the other girl was trying to get back at her, that Anna was calculating and manipulating.
And hadn't Anna succeeded?
Rage was boiling in the clumsy girl's veins.
Anna had Charlie wrapped around her little finger. Once Bella had accidentally overheard a conversation between her father and Sue. The affection and care in the Chief's voice when he talked about his "other daughter" were like cuts with a blazing hot knife to the naked skin.
The brunet felt unloved, neglected and unwanted when she heard him prise the other girl about how caring and thoughtful and sweet and mature she was.
Tears had welled up in her eyes when he told Sue about their fishing trip, their meals together and her heart squeezed painfully in her chest when he confessed that he wished that she could be a little more like her sister.
For Bella it was obvious why Anna had been so friendly to her father she wanted revenge and of course she did not stop there.
Having the benefit of living with the Cullen's she had pulled one after the other on her side and in the end even Edward.
Bella was convinced that Anna had absolutely no honest and genuine feelings for Edward or any of the Cullen's really. Her soul purpose was to hurt the brunet just like she got hurt by her. The brunet was also sure that all the money the Cullen's had as well as immortality and inhumanly beauty were also reasons for Anna to snatch Edward away from her.
A part of Bella, a rather small one, knew that she was wrong with that assessment and that she was being even unfair but the greater part of her did not care about that.
Yes, Bella had destroyed the other girl's life but she was sorry for doing so, she had apologised and she was suffering from the guilt she felt each and every day.
While wallowing in self-pity an unhappy grimace covered the clumsy girl's face as she sniffed and dashed her tears away and her mind switched back to Edward.
Pain tightened her chest when she thought about the events of a few hours ago. Deep within she had hopped that her beloved Edward would come to her to protect her like he always had done in the past but he didn't.
An epiphany struck her then.
All the times when she had been so willing to sacrifice her own life – like running off to Italy, jumping off the cliff, cutting her wrist with three Vampires around ….. – she had only been this brave – or stupid however one wants to look at it – because she knew that one way or another Edward was there to safe her.
She had played with fire. Edward's refusal had made her desperate without her realising it. By walking so closely by the edge somewhere deep within her she had hopped to "accidentally" force his hand.
But without Edward there as a safety-net she was terrified of death or worse eternity without him.
A sob caught in her throat as tears streamed down her flushed cheeks. Trembling she scrambled to her feet and crawled carefully, so not to wake Jacob or disturb him in any way, onto the bed. As gently as possible she lay down beside him, curling against him while trying to stifle her sobs against his hot skin.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She breathed quietly as she wept. "But I can't set you free."
She loved Edward and did not know how to not love him. She needed him like air to breath she was depended on her beloved Vampire and without him by her side she did not know how to function.
She was a broken and hallow and fractured mess. A dysfunctional shell of a person and without her best friend at her side she would simply fall apart. The mind numbing anguish would consume her entirely and end her.
She needed Jacob to hold her together.
She needed her sun to warm her.
She craved his smile because at some days it was the only thing that could throw a little light into her darkness.
She loved him. She truly did but it was not enough. Not then – in the books - and not now. No one would ever compare to Edward.
But Jacob kept her head over water without him she would be drowning. She was well aware of that.
Just as well as she knew that if Edward would want her back she would run into his cool, strong arms without a second thought. She would feel extremely guilty about hurting Jacob like that but she would do it in a heartbeat nonetheless.
For not being strong enough to do the right thing.
For being selfish enough to use the genuine feelings and care of someone in such an ugly way.
For yearning and praying for something that would hurt the one who cared about her so much.
And for knowing that one day, maybe even soon, she would break this wonderful person's heart she cried bitter tears while the boy who had risked everything for her rested peacefully next to her unaware to what was going on in Bella's head.