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Chapter 4 - Chapter 4: Damn it Henry

Entry 6: Im gonna kill him

Fucking Henry, he just had to pull some shit. Why did I ever think that a mentally unstable individual would do anything "normal" with this situation. Allow me to paint a picture here. I was making steady progress in hopes to improve my mental health and my therapist seemed pleased with my progress, especially the glimpses she had of this diary. I was starting to really be alright with everything. I felt that this was it—my closure that I had lacked for years. God, how idiotic I was to trust fucking Henry. He's insane. Why did I think he wouldn't do something stupid with Lorraine's belongings? Fuck. I've been trying to reach him since it's been over a week, and I haven't received anything in the mail, and he hasn't responded to any of my texts or calls. I even asked the police to make a call, but nothing happened. Not a damn thing from him. I have told my husband I'll be taking a flight in the morning to visit him and ensure the items are still with him. I wish to have them to go through and also talk about plans for the funeral with Henry. I truly hope Henry didn't make any truly foolish decision of any kind

Entry 7: Damn Damn Damn

I arrived in the town Henry and Lorraine lived and after I got settled into my hotel I made my way over to Henry's house. There was nothing. No light on, no apparent signs of life. Luckily for me I had my spare key back from my Lorraine lived here and it seemed that Henry didnt change the locks. I explored his house and yikes it was quite a mess, god he's an idiot. I can't believe that he could live like this. Fuck man seeing how much Lorraine effected him hurts. I did also contact the police to see if they can locate him and turned a missing persons report. Sad to say he did also commit a crime by taking Lorraine's items without notice of where he's taking them. Since I'm her next of kin those items belong to me despite my clearance of allowing his peace with them it's still robbery especially since this was through the police. He's clearly mentally unstable and god does his house reek of depression. I didn't find anything to suspicious and while there seemed to be a few boxes belonging to Lorraine I can't say that there was anything of note. It seems my therapist will have a good time with all this when I get back. I just wish Henry made this easier for me. I can't say I don't understand him at all. It's because of that, that I want Lorraine's items back. I just wish things could go back to a simpler time. The realization hit me earlier then I need to start planning Lorraine's funeral. I've come to accept that she's dead, but I'm scared that all the progress I've made up until now with already having to bury my parents and now her it's just to much now. Fuck I need a drink.

Entry 8: Thank God for Alcohol

They found him. Henry was found trying to cross the Canadian border. Being the dumbass he is I can't say I'm surprised, he does have Canadian citizenship and so if the police weren't on the lookout for him he truly could have been almost anywhere in North America. I did get returned Lorraine's book bag after some time and I plan to visit and talk to Henry soon. *Sigh* everything is just to much now, Fuck I can't handle all of this, I know I have my husband but I don't want to dump all of this on him. Maybe my therapist knew that and that's why she's gave me this diary to write in. I just wish all my problems could have solved right now. I am most certainly not getting the amount of sleep I should. Luckily my job is remote/in person when needed, if not I think I would have been fired by now. I do believe this to be the worst I've felt in a while but I do feel that after I talk to Henry things will be a lot easier. I have refrained from reading anything from Lorraine's bag except there was one note written by her that Henry had in his car. It was undamaged besides a few tear stains from who I presume are from Henry and it seemed different from anything else she had. I did read the note and god did it answer some questions I had, but also opened the door for more. I have never felt my shoulders this heavy from her death and disappearence then now. That could possibly be why I never felt much when she first went missing it was because it would all eventually hit now. I truly need a break or even a vacation away from all of this. Why didnt she tell me anything about any of this. What is "them"? What happened to her up in the mountains to have caused that much decay? What truly compelled her to leave her life behind for just a feeling she had for years. Fuck I hate her, but I also miss her so much at the same time. I think I'll leave it here for tonight. I believe I owe myself a drink after all this.