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Monomania

🇦🇼Voortrekkers
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Synopsis
Visceral jolts of electricity course through my veins, sending signals of pain up my arms and even further to the rest of my body, smoking, burning and scorching my upper chest, neck and both of my arms not even giving me a second of rest. With the cold air of the sea gliding over my still smouldering wounds, the stench of burnt flesh invades my nostrils. As my vision starts to blur, my eyes drift towards a flag flying in tangent with the waves, the colours so distinct they still stay with me to this day, a dark crimson, a jet black and frost white being sparingly used.
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: Lust

 January 23rd, 1998

"What is a frame of mind but a fallacy put on by our own perception of reality?"

My wrist halts, my pencil tip has grown blunt.

"Useless" I utter.

I proceed to switch to a deep black fine liner to continue my work, as if undisturbed by the world around me. The chatting of classmates, the almost silent but still grating to the ears sound of the projector, or even the teacher trying to engage with the class.

After I'm done with my work, I begin to fidget with the long sleeves of my hoodie that drape over my arms. I think of her...

Mai was the first person in this school to show me any kindness I admit it, I latched on to that bit of kindness like a cat pouncing upon its prey. Her beauty is unmatched. Every minute of interaction I adore, even if she does not know it, I feel complete if I'm with her an-

"Mr. Andrei-MacCoráth, are you daydreaming?"

I don't even get to finish my thoughts before I realize what my teacher has said to me, my eyes dart up to him.

"My apologies, sir" I respond.

My mind sinks back into thinking of Mai, who's not even in this class as she doesn't take physiology. I wish she did though to an agonizing level.

The clock's hands move slower to reach each hour as every second goes by. I am relieved by the bell and I relax like a soldier finally being told to be at ease by his commanding officer.

After arriving at the bathroom, I enter a stall, finally exhaling a breath of relief. I open my satchel, rummaging for my medication; it sooths my constant pains and needs, and gives me comfort after my sporadic periods of stress.

After taking my medicine, I stand there, head against the wall, debating whether to take more or not. I decide against it, and after rolling down my sleeves and washing, I leave for the cafeteria.

As I open the door to the cafeteria, I see Mai, sitting there with her group of friends eating lunch. Without realizing it, I bump into the back of a random girl. I'm immediately embarrassed. I scramble to the ground to help her up.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where I was going may I-I-I pay for your drink since I caused you to s-spill it?"

I stuttered whilst trying to wipe spilt tea off her pristine light brown blazer.

"Hey, it's alright, you don't have to pay for anything" she reassures me as she takes some tissue.

Recognising her voice makes me embarrassed even more; she's an upperclassman, "I insist, it was my fault" I say whilst opening my wallet to get a coin for the vending machine, motioning for her to pick what she wants, and I hurriedly scuttle away.

I feel a sudden hand on my shoulder. "I never got your name, mines Yuri Hanabishi. What's yours? I think I've seen you in the library a couple of times."

Her aura of confidence overwhelms me for a second.

"Quinn Andrei-MacCoráth," I whispered.

Her smile is soft, so gentle…

I break away from her gaze and go to sit down, hoping she forgets about the whole ordeal. Rummaging again through my bag, I ignore my medicine and bring out my cassette player and headphones, as well as my pitiful lunch.

Before I eat, I say mass, even over this undoubtedly disgusting meal, I put on my headphones and insert my favourite BowNovice cassette into it, grabbing my notebook.

I begin to sketch down the chair opposite me, drawing every detail as to occupy my mind for the time being.

Some time passes before my serenity is interrupted by Yuri, of all the people sitting opposite me in the chair I was sketching. Taking off my headphones, I look at her.

"You seemed lonely, so I came over," Her cheeriness is almost unnerving "I'm fine. I was just trying to relax before biology next period," I say whilst sharpening my pencil.

She hums a tune while I continue to eat my sandwich. We converse for the next couple of minutes, and while we talk, I begin to draw her sitting on the chair. Her cinnamon-coloured hair that flowed down her back over her shoulders, her bright blue eyes, and every detail of the outfit she is wearing. Her eyes follow every bit of movement from my pencil as she talks.

"Is that a drawing of me?" She inquires while smiling.

"Yes I- I-I'm sorry. I needed something to occupy my mind" I look down onto the table, averting eye contact when she spins my notebook around so she's can have a look at it.

Knowing that she is judging it, I fidget under the table with my sleeves again. "I've never had someone draw me before; it's so cool. Thank you so much," she says, still studying the sketch and smiling to herself.

I nod, not wanting to speak out of fear of embarrassing myself more. I turn around and still see Mai sitting there with her friends, looking at one of their phones and giggling. After a second or two of composing myself, I turn around to see Yuri still looking at my sketch.

"Can I keep it or at least take a photo of it?" Her pleading face gets to me. I nod as I carefully tear the paper from my note book and hand it to her.