"Hi, the greatest teacher of all time, Lucifer, here! Today, I'm going to teach these young minds how to become successful devils like me and some basics of torture," Lucifer announced with his usual grandiosity. He stood in front of a group of demon kids, all eager to learn the dark arts.
The classroom, if one could call it that, was a dimly lit cavern with walls adorned with ancient runes and macabre decorations. The air was thick with the scent of sulfur and a hint of burnt flesh—just the way Lucifer liked it. He adjusted his red tie and straightened his horns, confident that he would leave a lasting impression on these young devils.
"First lesson," Lucifer began, "is the art of roasting. Not the kind you do over a fire pit, but the verbal kind. You need to be able to tear your opponent's self-esteem to shreds with just your words. Watch and learn."
He singled out a particularly eager-looking demon child named Damien. "Damien, you look like you got dressed in the dark. Are those your grandmother's robes?"
The class erupted in laughter, and Damien blushed a deep shade of red. Lucifer smirked, feeling proud of his demonstration. "See? That's how it's done. Now, who wants to give it a try?"
A timid hand went up in the back. It was Beelzebub Jr., the smallest of the group. Lucifer rolled his eyes but decided to humor him. "Alright, Beelzebub Jr., give it your best shot."
Beelzebub Jr. stood up, cleared his throat, and said, "Lucifer, your horns are so dull, even a human baby could sharpen them."
The class gasped, then burst into laughter. Lucifer felt a twinge of irritation. "Not bad, kid. Not bad at all," he muttered through gritted teeth.
"Now, onto the basics of torture," Lucifer continued, trying to regain control of the class. "This is where true skill comes in. Anyone can cause pain, but it takes a master to do it creatively."
He demonstrated a few classic techniques, like the 'Eternal Itch' and the 'Inescapable Tickle.' The kids watched in awe, some taking notes, others already plotting their own diabolical variations.
Just as Lucifer was about to show them the 'Screaming Mirror,' a technique he was particularly proud of, the bell rang for recess. The demon children bolted out of the cavern, leaving Lucifer alone with his thoughts.
"These kids have potential," he mused. "But do they have what it takes to be truly evil?"
After recess, the class returned with an unusual enthusiasm. Lucifer sensed something was off, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He decided to continue with the lesson, hoping to channel their energy into something productive.
"Alright, everyone, gather around," Lucifer said, motioning them closer. "I'm going to show you the ultimate torture technique, something that only the most skilled devils can perform."
The children gathered in a semicircle, their eyes gleaming with curiosity. Lucifer began his demonstration, but before he could finish, Damien raised his hand.
"Excuse me, Lucifer," Damien said innocently. "Can you show us how to escape from torture?"
Lucifer frowned. "Escape? Why would you want to know that?"
Damien shrugged. "Just curious."
Lucifer sighed. "Fine, I'll show you. But remember, this is not something you should use lightly."
He demonstrated a few escape techniques, showing them how to break free from various restraints. The kids watched intently, nodding along.
"Now, let's get back to—" Lucifer started, but he was cut off by Beelzebub Jr.
"Can we try it on you, Lucifer?" Beelzebub Jr. asked, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
Lucifer hesitated. "I suppose it could be a good learning experience. Alright, go ahead."
Before he knew it, the kids had swarmed him, tying him up with surprising efficiency. They giggled and whispered to each other as they worked, clearly enjoying themselves.
"Alright, that's enough," Lucifer said, trying to sound authoritative. "Untie me now."
But the kids just laughed. "Escape, Lucifer!" they taunted.
Lucifer struggled against the restraints, but they were surprisingly tight. He tried to use the techniques he had just shown them, but the kids had anticipated his every move. They had taken his lessons to heart—and then some.
"Alright, very funny," Lucifer grumbled. "You've had your fun. Now let me go."
But the kids weren't done. They began to use the very torture techniques he had taught them, combining them in creative and unexpected ways. The 'Eternal Itch' became even more unbearable when paired with the 'Inescapable Tickle.' The 'Screaming Mirror' was downright maddening when placed in front of his face at just the right angle.
Hours passed, or maybe it was just minutes—it was hard to tell. Lucifer was exhausted, humiliated, and utterly defeated. The kids had outdone him at every turn, proving themselves to be truly diabolical.
Finally, as the bell rang to signal the end of the school day, the kids released him. Lucifer stumbled to his feet, his pride shattered. He knew he couldn't face them again—not after this.
He made his way to Satan's office, his head hanging low. When he finally reached the imposing door, he knocked hesitantly.
"Enter," came the booming voice of Satan.
Lucifer pushed the door open and stepped inside. Satan sat behind a massive desk, his eyes glowing with an unholy light. "What is it, Lucifer?"
"I—I can't do this," Lucifer stammered. "These kids are too good. My career as a devil is at risk. Please, don't send me back there."
Satan raised an eyebrow. "This is your Punishment for causing that explosion mess. You have to take responsibility."
" I can't," Lucifer pleaded. "I just can't."
Lucifer's eyes filled with tears. "Please, Satan. Just this once, let me go."
"Ohk I'll let you go off this one time, but you better not slack off and don't cause any mess in the future."
"I won't I swear." Lucifer said, as he quickly began to fly away. I have to runaway quick before he changes his mind.
Sometimes I think maybe I am not fit to be a devil, but hey I love this place and I won't settle for anything else. Also if you come to hell don't forget to visit me. I'll go eat marshmallows now.