"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I said, grabbing Courtney and hugging her as soon as she walked downstairs.
"Umm, you're welcome," she said, hugging me back. "What'd I do that was so great?"
"You suggested that I say hi to him, and he is so handsome, but I didn't know how handsome until he turned around. He's so dreamy that it nearly took my breath away, but it's not just his looks. He's also kind and funny and down-to-earth, and he has a golden retriever," I gushed, breathless.
I knew the golden retriever part would win her over. "Well, any guy who has a great dog like that has to be somewhat okay, but slow down. Who is this guy, and what do you know about him?"
I took a moment to enjoy how protective she was of me, and then I started about telling her all about Sumptuous Seth. Courtney liked my nickname for him, but decided that SS was much easier to say.
"SS does sound great," Courtney admitted. "Just be safe and only meet him in public places at first. You never know. He could be an ax murderer or some other kind of freak."
"We're coming to Joe's on Friday night, so you can check him out for yourself. Let me know if you think he has dead bodies buried in his basement."
We both snickered, but then Court turned serious. "I mean it. You haven't been out in the dating world for a while, and it's a jungle out there."
"Technically, I've never been in the dating world, other than that fiasco of a blind date that Annie sent me on." I had been so awkward with my pimples and braces in high school that boys had barely glanced at me. Larry and I had met during my first week of college. I remembered the thrilling feeling of realizing that he was actually flirting with me.
Larry wasn't Sumptuous Seth handsome, but he certainly wasn't unattractive. In the initial stages of our relationship he had been attentive and sweet. He had completely swept me off my feet. We dated the entire time I was in college. During that time, we had some serious make-out sessions. I regularly gave him hand-jobs and had even sucked him off a few times, but I was determined to remain a virgin until marriage, even if I was only a technical-virgin.
The summer after I graduated from the University of Michigan, we got married. That was when I learned about my inability to orgasm. I loved that Courtney was so willing to blame it all on Larry, but deep down, 1 knew the truth was that in those initial months of our marriage, Larry had truly tried to pleasure me. When he had his fingers or dick inside me, it felt good (sometimes really good), but it never quite sent me over the edge.
We had experimented with different positions, lubricants, nipple stimulation, watching porn and watching ourselves, but nothing worked. We decided to try different locations to spice things up. We fucked in the car, on the floor, on the counter, outside, on his office desk, in the shower, in a restaurant men's room, at a good friend's party. Whatever we could think of, we tried.
The final straw came when we rented a sleazy motel room and agreed to meet there. Feeling naughty, I had greeted him wearing a trench coat with nothing underneath. He had ripped it off me and we spent the entire night going at it hard. Our sweat-slicked bodies made smacking sounds as he pounded into me from behind. Suddenly, he surprised me by slowing, then stopping. "You could at least fake it, you know," he growled in my ear before shoving out of me and slamming the bathroom door.
I felt like I'd been slapped. I couldn't believe that he would even suggest that I fake it. How would that make anyone feel better? From that night on, our sex life consisted of a weekly missionary-style session of him grunting and ramming into me, while I counted the ceiling tiles and waited for it to be over.
"You still in there?" Courtney was waving her hand in front of my face.
"Sorry, I guess I got caught up thinking about the past for a minute. I do have a question for you."
"Shoot," Courtney encouraged me when I didn't immediately continue.
"Well, as you mentioned, I haven't dated in a while. So, I wasn't sure what the current protocol is. I mean, I was wondering, um."
When I paused again, Courtney gave me a curious look. "Spit it out."
"When should we do it?" I asked her, squeezing my eyes closed in embarrassment. I opened one eye to gauge her reaction. She wasn't laughing, so I continued. "I won't be expected to put out on the first date, will I?"
"Probably not," she reassured me. "If all goes well, a kiss with a little tongue would be appropriate. Maybe even a little outside the shirt booby action. If all goes fantastic, and you want to bang his brains out, I doubt he would complain, though," she laughed.
I could handle kissing. It was good to know he wouldn't learn of my sexual failings on the first date. When Courtney started to leave the kitchen, I called out to her. "Wait. What should I wear?"
Courtney smiled as she put her arm around me and said, "You have asked the right person. Let's go find you a cute outfit that shows off your perfect ta-tas." I shook my head as I followed her.