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Warut stayed in his place as he saw Virutt disappear from his sight, so he sighed and went back into the house. Virutt ran away from the house and cried until he reached the other end to sit there, barely catching his breath before crying again.
He sat in that place on the sand, cold air coming from the sea and clouds coming and indicating a storm like every time. He hugged his legs to his chest and closed his eyes, he doesn't know how much time has passed and he doesn't know why he is here or why he is running away from it, but every time he sees him, he sees San and how he died above.
And the sound of bullets also frightens him, he is afraid of it, he is afraid of killing someone close to him. He opened his eyes and got up looking at the water before taking out his phone and taking off his shoes and putting them near the tree and walking towards the sea, little by little his feet were sinking into the water and then half of his body.
Virutt's mother brought Warut and forced him to watch Virutt while holding his hand tightly. He saw him dive into the water until he disappeared, and his tension increased as he begged her to leave him to save him, but she held his hand tightly and did not allow him to go, speaking.
(Have you ever met a mother in your life who would let her son die in front of her? I know Virutt. Trust me.)
She completed the last two words, so Virutt took his head out and inhaled the largest amount of air. He collapsed and Warut sat on the ground and stared at him, and Virutt's mother was surprised by his behavior and those tears that escaped, and she noticed them even though he quickly wiped them away, and she noticed how he gave reactions and anxiety to her son so that she could speak while she saw her son hitting the water and screaming.
(Virutt is good at swimming, and if I did not know that he was doing it to vent his anger, I would not have given a cold reaction to this. Now the question is for you, Khun, what does my son mean to you?)
Warut looked at her and remained silent.. What does Virutt mean to him? He was a guard but now he wasn't, she patted him on the shoulder and asked him to follow her.
Warut spent the day at the resort and when he returned to a house on his way he noticed Virutt helping the bar owner and there were tourists looking at him while he was talking to his friend and smiling.
He stopped and stared at him calmly and how he seemed comfortable with those around him unlike being with him, he remembered that Virutt was always afraid and anxious with him and lately things had gotten worse. He was staring at the ground and when he raised his head he noticed Virutt looking at him and advancing and his body trembling.
He was staring at him from head to toe and face while he saw him looking at the ground and his hand trembling while he whispered to him and begged him and this opened Warut's memories and made him think a thousand times about Virutt with every step he took.
(Please don't kill anyone, I'll go home but don't hurt anyone here)
Then he left quickly and headed home. Warut returned and noticed that Virutt was in his room, as the light from the window was on. He sat in the garden thinking as Virutt's mother sat next to him giving him a cup of coffee and thinking about her son's talk
"I can't talk to him mom.. I don't know why.. I'm scared.. I've become afraid of people approaching me because of him.. Mom.."
Virutt's mother stared at Warut as he lowered himself to pick up the bracelet on the ground and she spoke while sipping her coffee talking about Virutt's childhood
(Virutt has been spoiled since birth. His father used to cry when he was born and when he was three years old he made this bracelet for him. In our country here, whoever wears a shell bracelet or a shell necklace or an earring that was made by hand is considered the spoiled child of his family because his father made it for him.
The boys here get annoyed with him and call him spoiled all the time, so he didn't have any interaction with the boys of my country except for one and I think you saw him.
Virutt loves this bracelet and will come looking for it everywhere. Keep it until he comes to you looking for it. He also believes in miracles, He once told me that everyone has miracles and that he was waiting for his own. I do not know if he denied miracles after he grew up.
Khun Warut, I am a mother and I know my son well, since the first time I brought him here my son was different.. He was not the Virutt I knew.. He was another person.. I saw something in his eyes.. I don't know what he was afraid of but I am sure that you will help him overcome it)
She got up intending to return to the kitchen when Virutt's voice at the door surprised her asking
(Mom, have you seen my bracelets?)
He was avoiding looking at Warut so his mother said to him as she continued on her way to the kitchen
(No, look for it in the garden)
He took two steps and stood up to approach him and Warut extended his hand towards him saying
(Here you go, I found it here in the garden a little while ago)
Virutt looked at the bracelet for a long time and his hand tightened on his clothes then he quickly approached and grabbed the bracelet and went back but Warut's hand grabbed his To say
(Virutt, please let's talk)
Virutt's reaction, his anger, his tears, and even the redness of his face as he takes a step back after every word he says
(What are we talking about? That you don't believe me even if I talk? Or that you kill everyone who approaches me? I tried to overcome my fear with all my strength and you brought me back to zero.. to the point of the abyss.. leave.. we won't talk.. I have no conversation with you.. I fear you)
Virutt ran out of the house that night, Warut remained staring at him then sat down and leaned back on the chair and covered his eyes with his hand and cried silently, Virutt's mother approached him and sat down, pushing his hand away and wiping his tears, to be surprised by Warut's loud sobbing and his tears that were falling like jewels on his cheek as he spoke
(Virutt wasn't like this, aunty.. I swear.. I'm the one who caused him fear.. I killed everyone who got close to him.. I.. I was the reason for all this fear, aunty)
She wiped his tears and spoke
(No, you're not like that, but you contributed to bringing him back again.. Virutt has been suffering from fear of the sound of gunfire since he was a child.. He was present on the day his father was killed by a stray bullet from some teenagers.. The incident left an impact on him.. Virutt was with his father when his father was killed next to him, maybe he didn't tell you or anyone, but he convinces himself that he got over it)
She got up and left Warut who was distracted, recalling his childhood memories, then stood up He cursed himself saying
(He.. damn it, he is Kaya's son)
As for Virutt, his mother followed him knowing where to find him so she went to him and found him sitting in front of the raging sea which foretells of a storm and the coming clouds foretell of heavy rain, she sat next to him and spoke
(I don't know what Khun Warut did to you, can you explain to me?)
Virutt started talking and told her everything except the hugs and kisses so she smiled and spoke
(I said he didn't hurt you, so why all this fear of him. Those who love don't hurt, maybe his anger is similar to your father's anger but he has a loving heart. I saw that last night and today and I don't deny that I saw your father in him when he was young, the person who cries for us sincerely is the one who deserves our love)
He asked her
(What do you mean by "similar to my father"?)
She smiled and told him
(When I met your father, he used to fight and I discovered from the girls that he admired me and that he fought with the boys because they were talking badly about me, and even after we became lovers, he was shy but very jealous.
When we got married, I noticed his anger and when I asked him, he said that the boys were talking about me, we moved here a year before you were born and your father did not change as if he intended to lock me in a box and when you were born, he cried a lot and said that he was afraid of losing me after that he became more gentle but his jealousy is still the same.
And Warut is exactly like him, but more jealous, I am your mother and I know what is in your heart, Warut, and I know that you love him but you are afraid of him because of his dominance and jealousy.
Of course, he will be jealous and domineering Boy, you've become more handsome, how can he not be jealous?I, your mother, have become jealous of the eyes of the workers who resort to you. How can he not be jealous of them and fear for you?)
He turned his face angrily and said
(I don't want to see him.. Let him leave.. I won't live my whole life in fear because of him)
She answered him while standing up
(Don't worry, Virutt, I know that your words and my words won't change his mind and he won't leave.. I'll go home.. Don't be late and don't stay here too long)
She left him and returned, and he kept thinking about everything from Warut's actions, which were similar to his father's, to his fear of him. He was startled when someone touched his shoulder, so he jumped and moved away from him, because he knew who it was. It was Warut, who he looked at for a long time. Warut wanted to speak but Virutt spoke before him
(I did not and will not overcome my fear of you, you should have focused on me and my actions.. your face when you asked me about being with that scoundrel.. your look that was full of accusations as if I betrayed you and we were nothing even.)
Warut approached him to shout at him as he backed away
(Don't come near..... Don't.... I wanted to swear to you that I didn't go to him.. but what are we? I swear to you something that was not my will.. I wanted to stay alone near a place that reminds me of my home.. I wanted to think about who we are.. and what our relationship is, and what I got? Attempts to sell and exploit and rape attempts.. Answer me, traitor, am I a doll? Or.. or a commodity?)
Warut approached him to move away while shouting
(Don't come near, why did you come? Did someone else suggest that you sell me to him?.. I am in pain, Warut.. I am scared.. I no longer have any energy to face anything)
His last words came out in a strangled voice as he cried with his head bowed. Warut approached and hugged him gently while whispering to him.
(I told you before that you are precious to me and I do not sell my valuables)
Virutt pushed him, screaming and beating his chest with his fist
(Stooooop, stooooop lying warut.. I am not a valuable thing.. I am not even a good thing for you.. I no longer believe those words)
But he suddenly fell silent, tears streaming down his cheeks, listening to Warut's words while looking into his eyes.
(I love you, Virutt.. I love you)
Virutt pushed him away, shaking his head in disbelief, but Warut approached him, grabbed his forearm and gently pulled him to his chest to hug him. Virut did not give a reaction, he just said
(I know it's a trick to get me back by your side. You never loved me.)
His speech was painful and scratched Warut's heart, but he did not back down. He stopped trembling after a few moments and spoke in an almost tired, sleepy voice.
(Stay away.. I want to go home.. I'm starting to feel cold)
But Lawarut had another opinion, he pushed him away and took off his coat and put it on him and sat down and forced him to sit between his legs, Virutt looked at him and said addressing him
(Come on sleep. I want to stay here for a while I promise in a little while I will carry you home)
Virutt pushed him intending to get up but Warut grabbed him tightly and returned him to sit, Virutt stared at him with annoyance so Warut lowered himself intending to kiss him so Virutt moved his face away from him saying
(Never, I will not allow you to do that)
Warut sighed silently and hugged him tightly, it was enough for him that Virutt was now in his arms, his sadness and anger would not last long. He looked at him as he slowly closed his eyes, then kissed his head, they were late in returning and this worried Virutt's mother.
His mother went out looking for him, he didn't come back and neither did Warut since she told him to go to him to talk, he didn't come back, on her way she met one of the residents and asked him, he laughed saying
(Watch your son ma'am, it seems he got a lover)
She frowned and walked to find Warut sitting and in his lap is Virutt sleeping soundly inside his coat and holding on to Warut's shirt tightly and every time Virutt was startled, Warut whispered four words to him
(It's okay.. I'm here)
He raised his head when he noticed her so she approached him and asked him
(Is your dispute over, Khun?)
He answered her with a smile
(Almost, auntie can you call me Warut or Nong Warut.. I feel that the word Khun doesn't suit)
She smiled at him and got up so he got up and carried Virutt and walked behind her, Virutt tilted his head and hugged Warut who smiled. He brought him home and climbed the stairs, while Virutt's mother was surprised at Warut's strength and consistency all this time.
He gently put him down on the bed while looking at Virutt's mother, who told him to sleep here since they had reconciled.
She knew that Warut had feelings for Virutt and her son as well, so she did not want to disturb them. I closed the door and Warut sat on the bed and stared at him at how he could hug his legs and sleep without fear. He smiled and got up, then Virutt grabbed him and asked him.
(Where are you going?)
Warut answered, kneeling on the ground and his hand caressing Virutt's bangs
(I will change my clothes and come back)
Virutt looked into his eyes for a long time, then Warut gently lowered himself, intending to kiss him, but Virutt turned his face away, saying:
(I'm so sorry)
Warut smiled and left him and got up to the other room to change his clothes. He came back and lay down next to him and pulled him into his embrace gently.
Virutt's back was to Warut's chest, which he held on to and pulled the cover over their bodies and kissed his temple. He finally fell asleep with Virutt, who fell into a deep sleep as if he had not slept because of Saan and his nightmares that haunted him.
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