After stepping out of the shower, I felt like a caged animal, pacing back and forth in my room as I tried to steady my nerves. This wasn't me. I wasn't the type to get all worked up over a kiss, but here I was, more wound up than I'd ever been before. What the hell was wrong with me?
I'd kissed countless women, left a trail of broken hearts in my wake, and never once had I felt a shred of guilt. It was fun, a game, and I was damn good at it. But now, the thought of kissing Aeliana had me so jittery that I could barely stand still.
I needed a plan, something to focus on, something to keep my mind from spiraling out of control. As I got dressed, pulling on a simple black shirt that clung to my frame and a pair of dark jeans that I knew looked good on me, I started to piece together how tonight would go. I'd bring Aeliana out to the balcony.
It was close to the dining hall, just secluded enough that no one would interrupt us but still within reach of the others. I could play it cool, tell her it was hot in the dining hall and that we needed some fresh air. That would get her outside, away from prying eyes.
Once we were out there, I'd do what I did best charm her, make her laugh, and then go in for the kill. A simple kiss, nothing too forward, just enough to test the waters, see if there was anything there.
But even as I thought it through, I couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't going to be like any other kiss. Aeliana wasn't just another conquest, wasn't just another girl to add to the list. She was different, and that scared the hell out of me.
With my plan in place, I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down. I wasn't going to let my nerves get the best of me. I was Ciara, for fuck's sake, the one who never hesitated, never faltered. I could do this. I would do this.
As I stepped out of my room and made my way to the dining hall, I tried to keep my head clear, focusing on the sound of my boots against the stone floor, the way the hallways seemed to stretch out endlessly before me.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the feeling of anticipation that coiled tight in my chest, winding me up like a spring ready to snap.
When I finally entered the dining hall, I was met with the usual sight Leora and Zephara, my grandmothers, sitting close to each other, their heads bent together as they whispered and laughed.
Their flirtation was as predictable as the sunrise, a constant reminder that love real love was out there, even if I'd never found it for myself. Aeliana was already seated at the table, her back to me, and for a moment, I just stood there, watching her.
She looked… calm, serene in a way that made my heart skip a beat. Her hair, dark and smooth, cascaded down her back, and I couldn't help but imagine running my fingers through it, pulling her close…
I shook my head, forcing the thought away as I approached the table. But as I sat down across from Aeliana, I realized my hands were trembling, just a little.
I clenched them into fists, hiding the evidence of my nerves beneath the table as I tried to act normal. Zephara caught my eye, and the smirk on her face told me she knew exactly what was going on in my head. The old bat was too damn perceptive for her own good.
Leora, always the picture of elegance, glanced up at me with a smile. "You're late, darling," she said, her tone light, but I could hear the underlying note of curiosity in her voice. "I hope you're not causing too much trouble."
"Never," I replied, forcing a grin that I hoped looked convincing. "Just lost track of time."
Aeliana glanced up at me then, her eyes meeting mine for just a second before she looked away, her cheeks tinged with the faintest hint of pink. My heart did a little flip, and I cursed myself for the reaction. Get it together, Ciara.
We started to eat, the food laid out before us in a spread that would make a king envious. Roasted meats, fresh vegetables, warm bread that smelled like heaven, and a rich, thick stew that I knew was one of Aeliana's favorites.
But as I picked at my food, my appetite was nowhere to be found. The plan, the kiss, it was all I could think about. My eyes kept drifting back to Aeliana, watching the way she delicately cut her meat, the way her lips curved up in the slightest smile when Zephara said something particularly amusing.
I was so distracted that I almost didn't notice when Zephara leaned in close to Leora, whispering something that made her laugh softly. Their love was so easy, so natural, and for a brief moment, I felt a pang of jealousy.
Was that what I wanted? To feel that kind of connection with someone? With Aeliana? The thought was both exhilarating and terrifying, and I quickly shoved it aside, focusing on the task at hand.
"Hey, Aeliana," I said casually, trying to keep my voice steady. "It's a bit warm in here, don't you think? Want to step out to the balcony for a bit? Get some fresh air?"
Aeliana looked up at me, surprise flickering across her face, but she nodded. "Sure, that sounds nice," she said, her voice soft but clear.
I stood up, trying not to show how my hands were shaking as I offered her a hand. She took it, her skin warm against mine, and together we made our way to the balcony. The night air was cool, a gentle breeze ruffling our hair as we stepped outside.
The stars were out, twinkling like diamonds in the sky, and the moon cast a soft, silvery glow over everything, making the moment feel almost… magical.
My heart was pounding in my chest, so loud I was sure Aeliana could hear it. I'd never been this nervous before.