I was drifting in and out of sleep, the exhaustion from the day weighing heavily on my limbs. My mind was still tangled in the events that had unfolded, the argument with Ciara replaying over and over in my head.
I wasn't sure how long I had been lying there, caught in the hazy space between waking and dreaming, when a soft knock at the door pulled me back to full consciousness.
For a moment, I lay still, my heart suddenly pounding in my chest. Could it be Ciara? Had she come to apologize? The thought sent a strange mix of emotions coursing through me anticipation, anger, and something else I didn't want to name.
I hesitated, unsure if I even wanted to face her again so soon, unsure of what I would say if I did.
The knock came again, more insistent this time, and I slowly sat up, pushing my hair out of my face. "Come in," I called, my voice rough with sleep.
The door creaked open, and for a brief second, my breath caught in my throat, half expecting to see Ciara's familiar silhouette. But when the door swung fully open, it wasn't Ciara who stepped into the room, but Nathaniel.
He stood in the doorway, a warm smile on his face, a tray of food balanced carefully in his hands. My heart, which had been racing moments before, slowed, the tension in my shoulders easing just slightly.
"Nathaniel," I said, my voice betraying the surprise I felt. "What are you doing here?"
He raised the tray slightly, his smile widening. "I brought you dinner," he said, stepping further into the room. "Leora mentioned you hadn't eaten, so I thought I'd check on you."
I blinked, the scent of the food reaching me as he came closer. The tray was laden with a variety of dishes a bowl of rich, steaming stew, a plate of fresh bread, a small assortment of cheeses, and a cup of warm tea.
My stomach rumbled involuntarily at the sight, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since earlier in the day.
Nathaniel placed the tray on the small table beside the bed, glancing at me with a hint of concern. "I was worried about you," he admitted, his voice softening. "You seemed pretty upset earlier."
I looked away, my thoughts immediately flashing back to the argument with Ciara. "It's nothing," I mumbled, though the words felt like a lie even as I said them.
Nathaniel didn't press, but his gaze remained on me, thoughtful. "You should eat," he said, gesturing to the tray. "You need your strength, especially with everything that's been going on."
I nodded, reaching for the bowl of stew. The aroma was comforting, a blend of savory spices and tender meat that made my mouth water. I took a tentative spoonful, the warmth of the stew spreading through me, easing some of the tension that had settled in my chest.
As I ate, Nathaniel pulled up the chair and sat beside me, his presence calming, steady. He didn't speak for a while, simply watching as I ate, his expression unreadable. When I finally put down the spoon, the bowl nearly empty, he broke the silence.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.
I hesitated, unsure of how much I wanted to reveal. Nathaniel and I had always had an easy camaraderie, a friendship built on shared experiences and mutual respect, but this what had happened with Ciara felt too raw, too personal.
"I... had a disagreement with Ciara," I said finally, the words coming out more haltingly than I intended. "It's nothing I can't handle."
Nathaniel nodded, his gaze still intent on me. "She cares about you, you know," he said after a moment. "Even if she doesn't always show it in the best way."
I snorted, though there was no real malice in it. "She has a funny way of showing it," I muttered.
Nathaniel smiled, a small, almost knowing smile. "She's complicated," he said, leaning back in the chair. "But then again, so are you."
I shot him a look, but there was no heat behind it. He wasn't wrong, after all. "Maybe," I conceded, picking at the bread on the tray. "It's just... difficult. I'm not sure how to deal with her sometimes."
Nathaniel leaned forward, his expression serious now. "You don't have to figure it all out at once," he said. "Just take it one step at a time. And remember, you're not alone. We're all here for you, Aeliana."
His words, simple as they were, brought a lump to my throat. I looked down at the tray, avoiding his gaze, but the warmth in his voice seeped into me, easing some of the turmoil that had been churning inside.
"Thank you," I said quietly, the words barely more than a whisper.
Nathaniel reached out, his hand covering mine where it rested on the table. The touch was gentle, comforting, and I found myself leaning into it, the warmth of his skin against mine a small anchor in the sea of emotions I was struggling to navigate.
"I mean it," he said, his voice soft. "You're important to all of us. To me."
There was something in his tone, a subtle shift that made my breath hitch. I glanced up at him, and for the first time, I noticed the way he was looking at me—his eyes warm, his expression open, vulnerable in a way that caught me off guard.
"Nathaniel..." I started, but the words caught in my throat, unsure of what I was trying to say.
He smiled, a small, rueful smile that only deepened the warmth in his gaze. "It's alright," he said, his thumb brushing lightly over the back of my hand. "You don't have to say anything."
There was a moment, a brief, suspended moment, where I wasn't sure what was going to happen. The air between us felt charged, filled with something I couldn't quite name. And then, before I could fully process it, Nathaniel leaned in, wrapping his arms around me in a gentle hug.
I stiffened at first, caught off guard by the sudden closeness, but then, slowly, I relaxed into the embrace. His arms were strong, secure, and I found myself resting my head against his shoulder, the tension in my body easing as I allowed myself to just... be.
But there was something strange about it too a sense of dissonance, like a piece of a puzzle that didn't quite fit. Nathaniel's warmth, his kindness, it was all there, but it didn't stir the same feelings in me that Ciara did.
There was no spark, no fire, just a quiet comfort that felt... safe. And maybe that was what I needed right now, after everything that had happened.
He held me for a long moment, neither of us speaking, the silence filled only with the sound of our breathing. When he finally pulled back, his eyes searched mine, as if looking for something an answer, a sign, I wasn't sure.
"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
I nodded, though the motion felt shaky, uncertain. "Yes," I said, though even I could hear the doubt in my voice.
Nathaniel smiled softly, his hand lingering on my arm before he finally let go. "Good," he said, though there was something in his expression, a sadness, perhaps, that made my heart ache.
I watched as he stood, his movements slow, reluctant. "I should let you rest," he said, picking up the tray. "But if you need anything... anything at all, just let me know."
"Thank you, Nathaniel," I said again, the words feeling inadequate, but they were all I had.
He gave me one last smile, a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, and then he turned and left the room, the door closing softly behind him.
I sat there for a long time after he was gone, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions I didn't know how to sort through. Nathaniel's kindness, his warmth, it had touched me, but it had also left me feeling... unsettled, in a way I couldn't quite explain.
Eventually, exhaustion won out, pulling me down into the soft embrace of sleep. But even as I drifted off, I couldn't shake the strange, lingering feeling in my chest, a mix of confusion and something else something I wasn't ready to face just yet.