The morning sun filtered through the tall, ancient trees surrounding the training grounds, casting long shadows across the dirt. The air was crisp, still carrying the coolness of dawn, but there was a tension simmering beneath the surface, threatening to turn that cool air into something more volatile.
I could feel it in the way my muscles coiled, in the sharpness of my breath, and most of all, in the way Aeliana was pushing herself today too hard, too fast.
I watched her from the sidelines as she sparred with one of the younger soldiers, her movements sharp but not as fluid as they once were. She was improving, no doubt about that, but she wasn't ready to be pushing herself this hard.
Every time she stumbled, every time her breath hitched in her chest, it set my teeth on edge. I wanted to tell her to stop, to ease up before she hurt herself, but I knew how well that would go over. Aeliana was nothing if not stubborn.
"Focus!" I barked at the soldier, a young woman with more enthusiasm than skill. She flinched at my tone but didn't lose her rhythm. Good. I didn't have time to coddle rookies, not with Aeliana on the verge of collapse.
Aeliana's movements were growing more erratic, her strikes losing precision. The soldier she was sparring with took a hesitant step back, clearly unsure whether to keep going or call it quits. I could see the uncertainty in her eyes she didn't want to be the one responsible if Aeliana hurt herself, and neither did I.
"Enough," I snapped, stepping forward before Aeliana could launch another sloppy attack. "That's enough for today."
Aeliana turned to me, her chest heaving, eyes blazing with a mix of frustration and defiance. "I'm fine," she bit out, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. "I can keep going."
"No, you can't," I countered, crossing my arms over my chest. "You're pushing yourself too hard. You need to rest."
She glared at me, her jaw clenched tight. "I'm not some fragile little flower, Ciara. I can handle a bit of training."
"This isn't just 'a bit of training,'" I shot back, my voice rising despite my efforts to stay calm. "You're not fully recovered yet, and if you keep going like this, you're going to end up back in the infirmary. Is that what you want?"
Her eyes narrowed, and for a moment, I could see the anger bubbling just beneath the surface. "You think you know everything, don't you?" she said, her voice low and dangerous. "You think you know what's best for me?"
I felt a flash of heat surge through me, a familiar anger that I had been trying to keep in check for weeks now. "I know when someone's being a stubborn idiot," I said, not caring that my words were sharper than they needed to be. "And right now, that's exactly what you're being."
Aeliana's hands clenched into fists at her sides, her knuckles turning white. "You don't get to tell me what to do," she spat, taking a step toward me. "You don't get to decide when I'm ready or when I need to rest. You're not my fucking babysitter, Ciara!"
The other soldiers had stopped what they were doing, their eyes darting nervously between us. I could feel their unease, but I didn't care. Right now, all that mattered was getting through to Aeliana before she did something stupid.
"I'm not trying to be your babysitter," I said, trying to keep my voice steady, even though the hurt was starting to creep in. "But I'm not going to stand here and watch you destroy yourself because you're too damn proud to admit you're not invincible."
Her eyes flashed with something I couldn't quite place pain, maybe, or anger. "You think I don't know that?" she hissed. "You think I don't know how weak I am right now? How fucking useless I feel? But I'm not going to sit around and let you treat me like I'm some kind of invalid!"
"That's not what I'm doing," I said, my voice tight with frustration. "But if you keep pushing yourself like this, you're going to make things worse. You need to listen to me, Aeliana."
"And why the hell should I?" she shot back, her voice trembling with emotion. "Why should I listen to you, Ciara? You don't care about me—you never have. You're just pissed because I'm not doing things your way."
I felt the words like a punch to the gut, but I didn't let it show. Instead, I squared my shoulders and stared her down, refusing to back off. "That's bullshit, and you know it," I said, my voice cold. "I care about you more than you think. But I'm not going to let you ruin everything we've worked for because you're too damn stubborn to accept that you need to take it slow."
For a moment, I thought she might actually hear me, might actually see that I was trying to help her, not control her. But then, her expression hardened, and she took another step toward me, her eyes burning with fury.
"Fuck you, Ciara," she said, her voice trembling with rage. "You don't get to decide what's best for me. You don't get to tell me how to live my life."
The words cut deep, and for a second, I almost lost my composure. But I couldn't let her see how much she was hurting me—not now. Not when she was so damn determined to push me away.
"Fine," I said, my voice like ice. "If you want to keep being a stubborn bitch, go ahead. But don't come crying to me when you end up back in that fucking infirmary."
Her eyes widened in shock, and for a moment, I thought I might have gone too far. But then, she turned on her heel and stormed off, her movements stiff with barely restrained fury.
The other soldiers quickly scattered, pretending to be busy with their training, but I could feel their eyes on me, their silent judgment hanging heavy in the air.
I stood there for a long moment, my heart pounding in my chest, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. The adrenaline from our argument was still coursing through my veins, but underneath it all, there was something else something that felt an awful lot like regret.
Damn it. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. I wasn't supposed to care this much about her. I wasn't supposed to let her get under my skin like this. But no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had just fucked everything up.
I stalked away from the training grounds, my mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. I was pissed at Aeliana for being so damn stubborn, but more than that, I was pissed at myself for letting her get to me.
I had always prided myself on being tough, on not letting anyone in. But somehow, Aeliana had managed to worm her way past my defenses, and now I was stuck feeling things I had no business feeling.
As I made my way back to the castle, I couldn't stop replaying our argument in my head, analyzing every word, every glance, every little gesture. I hated that I had let things get so out of control, hated that I had let her see how much she affected me. But most of all, I hated that, despite everything, I still wanted to protect her.
I found myself wandering aimlessly through the castle's empty corridors, the sound of my boots echoing off the stone walls. I didn't know where I was going, didn't know what I was looking for. All I knew was that I needed to get away from the training grounds, away from the memories of our argument.
Eventually, I found myself in the castle's armory, the place where I usually went to blow off steam. The familiar scent of metal and leather filled my lungs, and for a moment, it helped to ground me, to remind me of who I was what I was.
I picked up a practice sword from one of the racks and started swinging it, letting the weight of the blade guide my movements. The rhythmic sound of metal slicing through the air was soothing, and with each swing, I could feel some of the tension slowly start to ebb away.
But no matter how hard I tried to focus on the sword in my hand, my mind kept drifting back to Aeliana to the way her eyes had flashed with anger, the way her voice had trembled with emotion.
I could still see the hurt in her eyes when I had called her a stubborn bitch, still hear the pain in her voice when she had told me to fuck off.
Damn it. Why did she have to be so difficult? Why did she have to make everything so fucking complicated?
I swung the sword harder, faster, trying to drown out the thoughts in my head, trying to lose myself in the physicality of the exercise. But it was no use. The more I tried to push Aeliana out of my mind, the more she seemed to worm her way back in.
I cursed under my breath, throwing the sword to the ground in frustration. This wasn't like me. I wasn't supposed to let anyone get this close, wasn't supposed to let anyone affect me like this. But Aeliana... she was different. And that scared the hell out of me.
I sank down onto a nearby bench, burying my face in my hands. For the first time in a long time, I didn't know what to do. I had always been so sure of myself, so confident in my ability to handle whatever life threw my way.
But now, I felt like I was losing control, like everything I had built for myself was starting to crumble.
And the worst part was, I didn't know how to stop it.
After what felt like hours, I finally forced myself to get up, to leave the armory and head back to my quarters. I needed to get my shit together, needed to figure out what the hell I was going to do about Aeliana. But as I made my way through the castle's dark, empty hallways, one thing became painfully clear:
I was in way over my head.