The night sky was vast and cloudless, a blanket of stars twinkling above as we made our way back from the square.
The energy from the crowd, the laughter, the warmth of the lanterns—it all felt like a distant echo now. As we walked in silence, I couldn't shake the feeling of discontent that had settled in my chest.
Nathaniel had been polite after I pulled away from his kiss, but the tension between us was palpable, and I found myself regretting agreeing to go out with him in the first place.
The cobblestone streets were quiet now, the festivities behind us, and I was hyper-aware of the sound of my own footsteps.
Nathaniel walked a few paces ahead, his hands shoved into his pockets, head down. He hadn't said much since the moment between us back at the square, and I was grateful for the silence. I needed time to think.
I had tried really tried to enjoy the night. I had even laughed at a few of Nathaniel's jokes and let myself relax. But deep down, something felt wrong.
It wasn't him; it was me. My heart wasn't in it, and the more I forced myself to act like everything was fine, the more hollow it all felt.
We reached the castle gates, the dark stone walls looming over us. The guards nodded as we passed, their crimson eyes glowing faintly in the torchlight. Nathaniel led the way through the courtyard, up the stone steps to the castle entrance.
I followed, feeling a weight settle in my chest with each step. I could feel the chill of the night air clinging to my skin, but it wasn't just the cold.
It was something else, something that had been gnawing at me since the moment I saw Ciara and Cassandra in the garden.
That image of Ciara, her lips pressed against Cassandra's, had been seared into my mind. No matter how hard I tried to push it away, it kept resurfacing, haunting me, taunting me with questions I didn't want to answer.
Why did it hurt so much? Why did I care? I had known who Ciara was a heartbreaker, a flirt, someone who played with emotions like they were toys. I had known that. So why did it feel like my heart was being torn apart?
Nathaniel paused at the grand staircase inside the castle, turning to face me. His expression was soft, almost apologetic.
"Listen, Aeliana," he began, his voice low and tentative. "About tonight... I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just thought—"
"It's fine," I cut him off, offering a small, tired smile. "Really, Nathaniel, it's fine."
He hesitated, as if unsure whether to push the issue or let it go. After a moment, he nodded, though he still looked uncertain.
"I just wanted you to have a good time," he said, running a hand through his tousled hair. "You've seemed so... distant lately."
I forced a smile, even though I could feel the tightness in my throat. "I appreciate it," I said softly. "But I think I just need some time."
He nodded again, his gaze flickering over my face as if searching for something. I didn't know what he expected to find. I wasn't sure what I could give him, either.
"Well," he said, stepping back, "if you need anything, you know where to find me."
"I do," I replied, and with that, I turned and started up the stairs, leaving Nathaniel behind.
The walk to my room felt longer than usual, each step echoing off the stone walls like a drumbeat in my ears. When I finally reached my door, I slipped inside, the familiar quiet of the room greeting me like an old friend.
I kicked off my shoes and let the soft thud of them hitting the floor be the only sound for a moment. The silence was heavy, almost suffocating, but I needed it. The night had been too loud, too full of things I wasn't ready to deal with.
I crossed the room to the window, pushing it open to let the cool night air sweep in. The sky was still clear, the stars twinkling above like they had no care in the world.
I wished, for a moment, that I could feel like that weightless, untethered, free from the mess in my heart.
Sighing, I leaned my forehead against the window frame, closing my eyes. Nathaniel had been kind, attentive even, but none of it had felt right. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was just going through the motions, trying to pretend I didn't care about Ciara, about what I had seen.
But I did care. Too much, apparently.
The image of Ciara's face, her piercing eyes, her confident smirk it was burned into my memory. I could still feel the weight of her gaze on me, still hear the teasing lilt of her voice. She was intoxicating, dangerous, and I hated that I had let her get under my skin.
I had told myself not to get involved, not to let her in, but I had failed. Miserably.
Turning away from the window, I stripped off the dress I had worn that night and tossed it onto a chair.
The fabric felt heavy in my hands, a reminder of a night that hadn't been what I'd hoped. I pulled on a loose tunic and pants, something comfortable, something that didn't feel like it was suffocating me.
I climbed into bed, the sheets cool against my skin. For a moment, I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, my mind racing with thoughts of Ciara, of the way she had looked at me that day in the garden, of the hurt in her eyes when I told her I didn't want to talk to her.
Did she even care about what I had seen? Did she even feel anything?
I closed my eyes, willing the thoughts to stop, but they kept swirling in my mind, refusing to let me rest.
Why had she kissed Cassandra? Was it just another one of her games, or had it meant something more?
The way they had been standing together, so close, so intimate it had felt like a betrayal. But then again, how could it be a betrayal when Ciara had never promised me anything?
Maybe that was the problem. I had let myself believe that there was something more between us, something real. I had let my guard down, and now I was paying the price.
A part of me wanted to confront her, to demand answers, to make her explain what had happened. But another part of me was too scared to hear the truth.
What if it had meant nothing to her? What if I was just another one of her conquests, another name on her list of broken hearts?
I rolled over, pulling the blanket tighter around me, but the ache in my chest wouldn't go away. I kept seeing her face, hearing her voice, feeling the weight of her presence like a shadow that wouldn't leave me.
Nathaniel had been so easy to be around tonight, but he wasn't Ciara. No matter how much I tried to tell myself that it didn't matter, that I could move on, I couldn't shake the feeling that Ciara had a hold on me one I wasn't sure I wanted to break.
I had always prided myself on being strong, on not letting my emotions control me. But tonight, as I lay there in the quiet of my room, I felt anything but strong. I felt raw, exposed, like all the walls I had built around myself had been torn down.
And it was Ciara who had done it.
The thought made my stomach twist. I didn't want to feel this way about her. I didn't want to care. But I did.
I turned over again, staring at the empty space beside me, wishing I could just turn off my mind, wishing I could just let go of the way Ciara had made me feel.
But I couldn't.
The memories of her her smile, her laugh, the way she had looked at me that day in the garden played over and over in my head, refusing to let me rest.
And as I finally drifted off to sleep, it wasn't Nathaniel's face that lingered in my mind. It was Ciara's.
I was barely drifting when I felt something or rather someone land on the bed with a soft thud. My eyes shot open just in time to see my little sister, Lily, grinning mischievously as she bounced on my mattress.
"Aeliana! Wake up!" she chirped, her curls bouncing with every leap. "Come on, you're sleeping too much!"
I groaned, burying my face into the pillow. "Lily, it's too early," I mumbled, though it was probably well into the morning by now.
She giggled and flopped down next to me, poking my side. "It's never too early! Besides, Leora wants to see you!"
With a sigh, I sat up, ruffling Lily's hair. Her energy was contagious, but I still felt the weight of last night pressing down on me. "Alright, alright," I muttered, trying to shake off the lingering thoughts of Ciara. "I'm getting up."