I turned on my heel, my heart pounding as I walked away from Ciara, my steps quick and purposeful. I could feel her eyes burning into the back of my head, and my chest felt tight with a mix of anger and something I didn't want to name.
Why did she have this effect on me? I'd told her I didn't want to talk, that should have been the end of it. But my insides were still churning, my emotions a confusing storm.
I had let myself open up to her, let my guard down… and for what? To see her kissing Cassandra in the middle of the royal garden like none of it mattered? My face felt hot, and I clenched my fists as I made my way back to Leora's office.
What I needed now was a distraction, something to keep my mind busy. I needed to drown myself in work, to think about anything other than the look on Ciara's face when I'd walked away.
Leora's office was a quiet refuge, the scent of old books and parchment filling the air, the dim light filtering through the heavy curtains. I took a deep breath, trying to let the calm of the room settle over me. I moved quickly to my desk, snatching up a pile of documents. "Okay, Aeliana," I muttered to myself, "let's get to work."
Leora glanced up from her desk, a slight frown on her face. "Are you alright, Aeliana?" she asked, her eyes searching mine with concern.
I forced a smile. "I'm fine, just… ready to get some work done. Lots to catch up on," I replied, my voice a little too bright, a little too forced.
She didn't look convinced, but she nodded, turning back to her own papers. "Alright, but don't overwork yourself," she warned.
I nodded absently, already diving into the first document in front of me. I could feel my heart beating too fast, my hands trembling slightly as I read through the reports.
I tried to focus, tried to force my mind to absorb the words in front of me, but all I could think about was Ciara's face, her expression when I'd told her I didn't want to talk to her.
The way she looked so… shocked. Hurt, even. No. I shook my head, my teeth clenched. No, I wasn't going to think about that. I was done with that.
I worked feverishly, going through report after report, my pen flying across the page as I scribbled notes, signed off on documents, anything to keep my mind occupied. Every now and then, I'd catch Leora watching me out of the corner of her eye, but I ignored her, pretending to be engrossed in my work.
Time seemed to blur as I lost myself in the monotonous rhythm of paperwork. But then, the air shifted. I felt a familiar energy prickle at the back of my neck, and my body went tense. Ciara. I didn't have to look up to know she had entered the room.
Her presence was like a storm cloud, dark and heavy, and I could feel it settling over everything.
Leora looked up, her expression shifting into a neutral mask. "Ciara," she said, her tone polite but cautious. "What brings you here?"
"I need a mission, Leora," Ciara replied, her voice clipped, impatient. I could hear the frustration in her tone, and it set my teeth on edge.
I kept my head down, pretending to be absorbed in the papers in front of me, but I could feel the tension building in the room like a taut wire ready to snap.
I could practically hear Ciara's gaze burning holes into the side of my face, and I bit my lip, trying to ignore the flutter of nerves in my stomach.
Leora glanced between us, sensing the awkwardness that hung in the air. She cleared her throat, standing up from her desk. "I, uh… actually, I need to step out for a moment," she said, her voice a little too cheerful. "Why don't you two… catch up?" She was already moving toward the door, leaving us alone in the room.
I felt a surge of panic. "Leora, wait—"
But she was gone, the door clicking shut behind her. And then it was just the two of us. The silence stretched out, thick and heavy, wrapping around us like a shroud. I kept my eyes on the papers in front of me, my heart hammering in my chest.
Ciara took a step closer, her boots clicking softly against the floor. "Aeliana," she began, her voice low, almost pleading.
I stiffened, not trusting myself to speak. I couldn't let her get to me, not again. I pushed back my chair, ready to make my escape, but Ciara was faster. In one swift movement, she lunged forward and tackled me to the ground.
I hit the floor with a thud, the breath knocked out of me for a moment. "What the hell, Ciara?" I spat, but my voice came out shaky, more from shock than anger.
I was pinned beneath her, her hands on either side of my head, her face inches from mine. I could feel the heat radiating off her skin, see the flicker of something wild in her eyes.
The air between us was charged, electric. My heart was racing, and I could feel my cheeks flushing. For a moment, neither of us moved, the world narrowing down to just the space between us, the sound of our breathing, the tension crackling like a live wire.
Ciara's gaze flicked to my lips, and my breath hitched. I saw her lean in, slowly, hesitantly, like she was fighting with herself, and my body went still. I could feel my heart pounding so loudly I was sure she could hear it.
Her lips were so close, I could feel the warmth of her breath, the scent of her mingling with mine.
For a heartbeat, I thought she was going to kiss me, and part of me some stupid, traitorous part wanted her to.
But then reality came crashing back, and I remembered the garden, Cassandra's lips on hers. Anger surged through me, hot and blinding. I reacted without thinking, my hand coming up to slap her hard across the face.
The sound of the slap echoed in the room, and Ciara's head snapped to the side. For a moment, she didn't move, just stayed there, her cheek red where my hand had connected. The air was thick with tension, the charged moment shattered.
"Fuck you," I hissed, my voice trembling with a mix of rage and something else I couldn't name.
Ciara's eyes flashed, but she didn't say anything, just stared at me, her jaw clenched, her breathing ragged. The silence between us was deafening, filled with all the things we weren't saying, all the emotions we were both trying so hard to ignore.
I could feel the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes, and I hated it. Hated that she could make me feel like this, hated that I still wanted her despite everything. I shoved her off me, scrambling to my feet, needing to put as much distance between us as possible.
I stormed out of the room, my heart racing, my head spinning. I didn't look back. I couldn't. I just needed to get away, to put as much space as possible between me and the woman who had somehow managed to shatter every wall I'd ever built.