That day, April 13th, was probably the worst day in my life. I learned that Tsuki had an unbreakable curse, assaulted a god, and then had to explain everything to my wives. Safe to say, they hated everything I said. By the time I finished telling them about what I learned, Gwendolyn was a sobbing mess on the floor while Altris comforted her. Altris asked me if there was really no other solution, and this time, there was no reassurance.
"Tsuki will die."
Those three words cut deep into my soul, but my wives couldn't take it. Altris and Gwendolyn both broke down into loud cries with tears streaming down their faces like waterfalls. Their wails echoed all throughout our home, which caused Tsuki to join them. My heart was in my stomach and my mind was filled with guilt. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do. I need to get away. I want to cry. I want to just...think.
"Please, excuse me." I exclaimed as I walked out of our bedroom. I didn't hear my daughters up in their room, nor did I check. I walked downstairs and left my home through the front door.
I never left my front yard.
I sat on my porch, my arms rested on my knees while my head was down. I stared at the wooden steps beneath me while I thought about my actions.
I can't do a thing about this. My son is destined to have a terrible fate. Everything, every choice I've made in my life has been leading to this moment.
If I never left the East Continent, this wouldn't have happened.
If I never met Gwendolyn, this wouldn't have happened.
No, I can't put this on her. She had nothing to do with this. I just...don't know anymore.
I've lost my parents already. I was tortured and lost my eye because of it. My brother and I are on bad terms. I've hurt people, and I've seen my own friends die in front of me. Now, my baby boy will die in front of me too. I can't take this.
I hate how I've turned out. I want to be strong like my father was. Although he was distant, I still respected him. He made sure everything in our home was stable and running. He never made us worry about anything. But I'm not like him. I'm worse. I can't help my family right now. I make my wives worry about me. I mess everything up. I'm not my father.
I know I can't just wallow in self pity. The world will keep spinning and I will have to move forward, time won't stop for Tsuki. But what else can I do? It's inevitable. The only thing I can do is cope. Gan Karah is right, everyone will die, but that doesn't mean I want Tsuki to die by the hands of another.
Why can't Tsuki just live a normal life? Why couldn't he be born a normal baby? Why can't I do anything about this?
I don't know. I'm sorry, Tsuki. I'm sorry I can't help you.
And then, I wept.
I cried my heart out. Snot ran down from my nose and I dirtied my arm when I wiped it away. Only one stream of tears ran down my face, but that didn't stop me from messing up my clothes. My pants had dark splotches on them, and my tears formed puddles on the wooden steps to my porch.
I sat there for at least twenty minutes, just crying, making a mess of myself. By the time I was done, the sun made itself known to Karangan Kingdom, beaming down on my face. My nose was runny and my face was wet. I didn't feel better, I just stopped crying because I had better things to do.
"Guess I could go for a walk." I mumbled to myself, but as I got up, I heard my front door open. I turned around and was met with an adorable little girl with pointed ears, pale skin, and bright yellow eyes. She wore a white pajamas with vertical blue stripes decorating them.
It was Adeline.
"Papa?"
"What is it, Adeline?"
"Well...um...I heard someone crying out here. I came to check!"
"Well, that's very sweet of you, Addy. But it's just me out here. You can go back inside."
"Are you okay, Papa? You sound sad and you keep sniffling."
"I'm fine. Everything is fine."
"Is this about Tsuki? I heard you and Mama talking about it earlier and she was crying pretty loudly."
"Ah. You don't need to worry about that. We've got everything under control."
Adeline paused and stared at me. Her neutral expression soon turned into a frown while her eyebrows furrowed.
"You said you would cure Tsuki, but I heard you say he was gonna die today! You said you were gonna try your best, but now you're just giving up! Why, Papa?! Don't you care about him!?"
"Adeline! Do you even know what you're saying?!" I yelled at her.
"I do, Papa! I do! You're giving up on my brother! You hate him!"
"That's not true. I just..."
I couldn't come up with an answer. I don't hate Tsuki. I could never. I'm not giving up on him. But I am. I told my wives that I would do my very best to help him. Even if I didn't end up helping him at all, at the very least Tsuki would know that I tried my best for him. So why am I not?
"I'm sorry, Adeline." My voice became shaky as tears started to run down my right cheek, to my neck, to the surface below. Tiny dark puddles formed on the porch under me as I began to weep. "I'm sorry for giving up."
"Papa..." Adeline's voice started to tremble as well. "Please, keep trying, Papa. Give my brother a chance." My daughter ran up to me and gave me a hug, her arms wrapping around my head. In turn, I hugged her tightly, not planning on letting her go.
I'm not like my father, I have to accept that. My daughters are supposed to rely on me, not him. I'm going to be better, not only do I need to be, but I want to be. So I'll be my best.
Things may seem hard, but that shouldn't stop me from trying. Life is full of ups and downs, but I've known that for a long time now. I've made many mistakes, but soon enough, things changed. I was never the best person, I gave up on a lot of things and hurt people, but that doesn't define me. What defined me was my ability to overcome and change, which let me welcome the next day as a better person.
It's not over. I'm only 28. I've got lots of years left, and tons of memories to make. I'll make sure Tsuki gets to experience that too. One day, we'll drink booze together and laugh about our experiences in this twisted world.
"I'm not going to give up. Not anymore. I will do everything I can and never stop trying, I swear."
"...Do you mean it, Papa?"
"Of course. Starting today, I'll do everything in my power to help Tsuki. I'm serious now, don't worry."
Adeline released herself from our hug and wiped her face before wiping mine. She put a smile on her face and kissed my forehead.
"Okay, I'm counting on you Papa!"
"I won't let you down. Promise."
"I know, I know! But I think you should tell Mama and Mama Al too."
"That's right. I'll tell them right away. Go wake up Eudora and I'll make breakfast soon." I said as I got up from the porch, standing upright.
"Papa, what are those little puddles on your pants?"
"Oh. Uh...it was raining a little while ago."
"But I don't see any puddles."
"That's because the Rainman cleaned everything up." I said as I picked Adeline up and walked inside.
"Rainman? Did you make that up?"
"Maybe, maybe not. You'll never know."
Even though April 13th of the year 303 AHR might've been the worst day of my life, it would also mark the day I began my journey to save my son. From now on, no messing around. I'm not just focused on saving Tsuki, after all. Everyone cursed by the Fiend God will be receiving our help. It's about time we make a change.