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Files of Lois Lane

🇺🇸CopperTopHero
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Synopsis
The man-hating feminist Lois Lane learns to hate men less as she is continually saved by the most manliest man of them all: Superman, who is secretly her co-worker Clark Kent of which Lois has maybe, also, sort of, possibility been developing feelings for! A 1940s cartoon modern-day adaptation.
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Chapter 1 - The Mad Scientist

"Metropolis is one of the largest hubs of the nation. It is known for its busy go-go-go atmosphere, hard working people and rich rewards. And when the people say rich, they mean RICH. Metropolis is where millionaires and the like go to become billionaires. It is said, "Start a business in Metropolis and you'll find one on every corner in the nation a year later." When foreigners visit they comment how the poor of Metropolis seem to be living like kings. 

In such a rich city however, it is only inevitable that such good fortune should wrongly be taken advantage of. Needless to say, the police and law enforcement often have their hands full chasing the tails of robbers, crooks, and mad men. That is where Superman enters the scene. Not much is known about him, only small reports so far of a vigilante in blue and red gymnast spandex stopping criminals with inhuman strength. It is said he can run faster than a bullet, jump over tall buildings and fly, often being mistaken for a bird or a plane. No one truly knows who this solitary man is, all they know is that when trouble is afoot, Superman is there to save the day."

Ugh, what a complete waste of her time, Lois thought as put down the article she was reading from this new competitor. She worked for the Daily Planet, the biggest news station in Metropolis and this new magazine from KMCP News was a complete eye-roller. Had they hired reporters from the 40s? Seriously, what kind of hack writers still say "trouble is afoot" let alone "save the day." It was bad enough that people already thought a man saving the day was some kind of great achievement, as if men hadn't been overbearing screw ups for thousands of years of history. Now there's a "super" man to save the day? Heaven help us all. How often was it that women had to step in and clean up the messes made by men. Women's suffrage movement, case and point. Lois would love to meet this Superman character and give the public her take on who this guy really was. Some attention seeking superhero wannabe. 

Lois looked at the author of the article; Marge Fatton and Clark Kent. Clark Kent, that was the new hire the Chief was bringing in. Chief said he was extremely talented and very impressed with his work. Probably his "other" work because this piece was extremely disappointing. Lois smiled to herself. She had to give the KMCP a little credit though, they had started out of nowhere and suddenly risen to some fame. She had especially enjoyed their take on the economics of Metropolis. Many of their articles had been painfully realistic yet hopeful and inspired business owners to do the community better. She'd even quoted some to a few of her friends and now wondered if Clark Kent's name had been associated with any of those articles. Whatever, it didn't matter now. Break's over.

Lois took another look at her research. Before she took her break she had just gotten back from collecting intel from the bigger city buildings. She had pictures of threatening notes from City Hall, the Police and Fire stations, and the Courthouse all telling about a soon doomed destruction if they didn't stop laughing at me (whoever "me" was). Even the Metropolis Library had a note, though Lois had a hunch the note from the library was unconnected even though it was done in the same style. It mentioned a specific name in the note, Susan, and after some more digging, Lois found out that Susan the librarian had recently broken up with her toxic ex who was just the type of guy who would try to scare her by threatening notes. That being said, did the toxic ex have the ability or motive to threaten the other major city buildings? No, he did not. The police seemed to think he did so they were chasing that angle but Lois was considering other possibilities. There was the shifty first deputy mayor who had recently "resigned" as well as some major flat-earther university professor who used to work closely with the city. The deputy mayor had been filing for retirement while the professor had gone off grid for the past few weeks. Retirement? Yah, that man had no plans for doom or destruction, someone in office probably just found out his son was dealing drugs and so he resigned before he could be blamed for any part he played in it. That could make great news but it would have to be saved for later, she was finding the city's mad man first. 

After doing some more digging Lois found coordinates to some old university observatory on a remote island just outside of Metropolis. If the professor was going off grid, that was the place to do it. It sounded like a promising lead. Lois sat back in her chair smug. She was just too good at her job.

Chief then called everyone into the main meeting room for the weekly debriefing where they went over assignments, deadlines and roastings on whose article was the worst. When Lois was first a new hire at this male dominated company she had gotten roasted fiercely, but those days ended and now she'd get a "good job" with a nod from the chief about her front page headliners.

The chief stood at the head of this patriarchy as everyone gathered into the meeting room. Standing next to Chief was some guy with greasy jet black hair. He was obviously a skinny man and it didn't help that he wore an overly big overcoat and pants that looked like they were 3 sizes bigger than what he would need. He had on his face giant round rim glasses that made his eyes shrink as if they were pebbles in his face. He was wearing a medical face-mask like he was sick or something. 

Chief spoke, "Crew, meet Clark Kent, our new hire. I've had the chance to work with Clark when I was chasing a story in Smallville some years back. Clark has good intuition and an excellent talent for writing. I'm excited to have him with us."

Lois had never heard so many compliments come out of Chief's mouth. She wished she could have said that it spoke volumes about this new guy's skills and less about the Chief's lack of spotting talent. 

"Clark, this is Chad, Denis, Jeremy, Cynthia, Robert, and Louis, not to be confused with our very own Lois Lane." Chief said, gesturing to each person.

Chad spoke up in his loud and obnoxious way, "Just try confusing them, Clark. Lois will bite your head off if you do." Classic Chad. 

Lois said, "It's funny how much you spout your head off when you have no idea what you're talking about. Maybe someone should bite it off Chad."

Chad shrugged as if what Lois had said just proved his point.

"Enough flirting you too," Chief said.

Flirting, are you serious? It's always funny banter until someone's pride actually gets hurt. Sometimes work was a bit much for Lois. 

"Clark, introduce yourself. Say something about where you're from and what you like to do and all that."

That was when Clark spoke. Lois was expecting either a really annoying high pitched voice or some throaty trying-too-hard nerd's manner of speech but Clark did not provide either option. When he spoke he spoke straight, with a calming confidence and a clear tone. He had a deep voice, like that of a jazz singer. 

"Hello everyone. I'm Clark, as you might've heard I come from Smallville which is exactly how it sounds, a small town, but I've been living in Metropolis for a little over a year. Sorry about the mask, there's an older couple in the hospital, they're kind of like my grandparents, I go visit them almost every day and I don't want to risk getting them sick or contracting sickness from anyone else which I might pass onto them. You could say I'm a little paranoid about such things." He said shrugging. 

Well, At least he recognizes his weirdness Lois thought. Giving him a second look over Lois realized that she couldn't tell exactly what Clark actually looked like. The mask covered the lower half of his face and those huge glasses covered the upper, shrinking whatever physical features that might be placed upon it. In that big jacket of his you really couldn't tell where the man stopped and the jacket started. Same went for the pants. Exactly who was this Clark guy and was he really just a small town hick or was he hiding something? Judging by that sob story about his grandparents, he probably was just some small town hick. 

From then on the meeting went on as normal and nothing was presented that Lois didn't already know. Except that Robert's dog had puppies but who really cares about that. Except Clark. Clark cared and the rest of the office just moved on and finished the meeting. As everyone was walking away, Chief pulled Lois and Clark aside.

"I want to see you both in my office in 5 minutes." Chief said.

Great, he's going to try assigning Clark to her story. Sorry Chief, this one is hers. Lois went to her desk and collected a few papers. 

"You're Lois Lane, it's great to get to meet you," said a deep jazzy voice from behind. 

Lois turned and met Clark. 

"I've been a real fan of your work. That article you published about the bullet thieves, phenomenal writing. How you found their hideout must have taken a lot of bravery."

Lois brushed her hair back behind her shoulder, "It's true this isn't easy work but I've always seemed to have a knack for it. It'll be nice to have someone in the office who can actually appreciate talent." 

Clark laughed. Ah, so he understood her mightier-than-thou sense of humor. Lois liked to act stuck up as a joke mostly, but way too often people took her seriously.

Lois smiled sincerely, "Welcome to the team."

"He has conquered the black widow!" Chad whispered to Denis, as if Lois was something to be concurred. Could these men stop objectifying her for one second at least.

"We should go meet the Chief." Clark said awkwardly. 

Lois agreed and they entered Chief's office, shutting the door behind them. Chief was standing against the wall when he placed a paper on his desk in front of Lois and Clark.

"Another note from the mad man. Now read this warning," Chief said. 

Clark stepped forward and began to read, "Beware- you fools! My Electrothanasia-Ray strikes tonight at 12. Total destruction will come to those who laughed at me and failed to heed my warnings. Beware– I strike at midnight!"

Chief had his hand resting thoughtfully on his chin, "This nut may prove dangerous. Kent you help Lois follow up her lead, she may have an angle on this thing that the police aren't considering." 

"Chief, I'd like the chance to crack this story on my own," Lois said. She didn't want this new guy getting in her way or worse, trying to take the credit for himself. 

Chief tapped his head, "I… Mm-Well alri-"

"Thanks Chief." Lois was already out the door.

"But Lois–" Clark was heard calling after her. Seeing that she was already gone, Clark turned to Chief.

"Chief, don't you think that's a dangerous mission?"

Lois slowed down the motor boat she was driving as she approached the island outpost of the university's old observatory. It was her neighbor's boat that they let her borrow. They didn't have any qualms about her using it since they had seen her handle it before and knew that she was one of the finest sailors they'd ever seen. It's a shame they never got to see her cuss like a sailor too. 

She reached an old dock where she tied up the rig and began the trek up to the observatory. She hadn't expected this abandoned place to be so completely cut off from civilization. Not a soul in sight and the cell service was spotty. The trees around were growing mold on them and the only animals were vultures and crows. It was kind of creepy. Maybe she should have let Clark come. Well it was too late now and Lois could handle herself in a fight, not to be underestimated. She had taken 3 years of self defense. Nonetheless, the hand that she had planted in her purse gripped her pepper spray a bit tighter as she approached the door to the observatory. She knocked.

Lois heard the noise of shoes on clanking metal as she waited, ready to pepper spray whatever creepy fool decided to show their face. She knocked again. 

"Hello? I'm a reporter for the-"

The door opened as she was shot by a taser. 

As she fell to the ground she reasoned to herself that she should have brought Clark. Hindsight 20/20. Then again, what would that scrawny man be able to do in this situation? He would have been captured right along with her. Maybe he could have acted as a decoy. Then at least she could have gotten away and called for help. By the time Lois regained feeling she was tied up to a chair by this very weird and uncomfortable professor man. 

He was definitely the science professor from the university, Lois could tell by the balding head. Though the man in front of her had a much more crazed look in his eye than the man she had seen in the photos. Not to mention his unwashed lab coat, the man needed a shower badly. He was continually muttering to himself about revenge, respect, and human decency. Lois might have said something about the decency to bath regularly but her mouth was tied up and also she was afraid she was going to be murdered. It helped to pretend to make jokes.

Lois decided to take more of an interest in her surroundings than the man's gibberish. She was tied up in the middle of a large room. In front of her the man was operating a giant machine that reminded her of an organ with giant pipes escalating into the ceiling. Directly in front of the man were monitors, dials and buttons that the man kept twitching and fiddling with. 

Muttering muttering until around midnight the professor turned and directly approached Lois saying, "So you want a story? I'll give you the greatest story of destruction the world has ever known."

Then he turned up a dial and pressed a few buttons. On one of the monitors you could see the tower bridge, a famous landmark to get into Metropolis from the North side. Target locked. The man turned up the largest dial and a laser blast came bursting out of the observatory. Within seconds, the bridge was split in two, melted away by the laser. A few unlucky cars traveling the bridge fell into the ocean below. 

The mad scientist laughed, "How is that for a story, Miss Lane?"

Lois tried not to wonder about the people driving those cars as she began wiggling her knots. They were tight and not budging. She kept wiggling them as if somehow they would magically loosen if she were to just try hard enough. She had to do something and this was all she could do. Someone had to do something and if she couldn't, then who. 

A city wide alert was sent out. 

"True to his threats, the mad scientist whose wanting to hold the city in a grip of terror went on his rampage of destruction at the stroke of midnight. The deadly impact of his mysterious ray smashed the famous tower bridge hurling cars and pedestrians into the water below. The police have warned everyone to remain in their homes."

Clark left the newsroom, "This looks like a job for Superman."

Lois watched as the mad scientist locked in his next target. The Daily Planet building. He aimed for the top.

"I'll start from the top down." He laughed. "And it'll be gone in seconds." 

As he cranked up the power on his laser a bird got in the way. A bird? Not likely, the laser would have just burnt through the bird making fried chicken. Was it a plane? No it couldn't have been that either. The scientist zoomed in his visuals on this impossible thing that was blocking his laserbeam. It… was a man. In red and blue spandex with a ridiculous S on his chest. Was that the famous Superman? He really needed a new fashion designer. 

Superman began flying towards the source of the beam, pushing it back as he did, as if he were using his hand to cover a child's water hose. The mad scientist growled and turned up the laser's power. Shots of electric bolts pulsed through the beam. Superman hadn't been expecting those as they shot him backwards, pelting him again and again. They pinned him to the ground as the mad scientist laughed at watching this man die. Except he got back up. He faced the beam and when a lighting bolt pulsed he punched it. 

… What… did Lois really just see that with her eyes correctly? But then he punched another bolt. The mad scientist increased the ray. Superman just punched another bolt. And another. And another. Who was this guy! How? What! It didn't matter how many times the scientist increased his laser, Superman just kept punching the bolts. Then he flew towards the source of the laser, and then the tower, punching the pulsing bolts of lighting over and over again. 

It took a lot to impress Lois but this? It was honestly incredible and she was leaning forward trying to understand what she was seeing. That's when she fell over in her chair. She strained her neck but because she was tied up she couldn't hardly see the screen. But in her new position on the floor she was able to get a better angle of the cannon that held the laser. Outside Superman had just tied the end of the cannon as if he was tying the end of a balloon full of air. The power from the cannon began to create a huge back surge. This was leading to an explosion. Would this Superman even know she was here? 

She began trying to yell but there was no way anyone would be able to hear her over the sound of the erupting laser cannon. Unless they had super hearing which Superman probably did because immediately Superman was by her side, snapping her ropes like snapping thread. He picked her up and then went after the scientist who was fleeing the scene. As soon as he had both people in tow he flew off and the observatory exploded, rocking the earth for miles away.

With just one leap of his great strength, Superman brought the two back to Metropolis. He delivered the mad scientist to the feet of the police and they promptly put him in jail. Then Superman turned to Lois.

"And where would you like to be dropped off ma'am?" He said in a deep voice which sounded vaguely familiar but had too much of a nerdy throat accent to identify. Definitely not something she'd want to listen to all day. 

"Are you Superman?" Lois asked. He smiled and nodded. He had a very sharp jaw, quite attractive. But not so distracting as to forget her job.

"How did you know I was there?" Lois asked, already guessing the answer was super hearing. She wanted to get him talking. Start with easy questions, then she'd build up to the "where are you from, why are you here?" 

Lois could sense that he just wanted to drop her off somewhere and zip off. She grabbed his arm, which happened to be extremely muscular. "Please," She said. She couldn't let him fly off, the public needed more about him than just your "hero of justice" cliche. They needed to know who this man was and Lois was going to find out. Quickly, but politely, he took her hand off of his arm then let go. From there he just flew away.

"Wait–" Lois said but he was already gone, "I was getting too personal I guess."

From the police station where Superman had left, Lois called for a cab and immediately went to the Daily Planet building where she began writing her article which was published the following morning. 

Lois sat back in her chair, tired from the all nighter she'd just pulled. The screen in front of her was pulled up to her article on the first page of the company website.

"Superman Captures Mad Scientist: Saves the Day then Vanishes, Public Mystified"

Saves the day. Had she really used that phrase? She must be too tired to think straight. But how else could she describe it? She certainly didn't contribute any heroism. There wasn't anything more she could have done. No one in her shoes, tied up as she was, could, unless they themselves had some unordinary abilities. In all truth, he'd saved her. But she wasn't ready to start touting that little nugget around the office.

Chief came strolling through the floor on his way to his office. He stopped by Lois's desk and extended his hand. She took it and Chief gave her the coveted job-well-done handshake.

"Congratulations Lois. That was a great article!" Chief said. How many times had Lois unwillingly hoped of getting this kind of praise from Chief.

"Yes Chief, thanks to Superman." Lois said sarcastically.

"Keep up the good work," Chief said as he left the floor and entered his office.

Chad rolled his way over to Lois's desk on his dumb rolly chair. "So Lois, front page again huh?" 

"Well someone in this office needs to have something worth saying." 

"Aaand you got to meet the superman too. Came in and saved the day didn't he."

He was baiting her and she knew it. "Yes, he did. And I was very grateful for it." 

"I guess all men aren't dirt bags huh."

"Just because one man does the right thing one time doesn't speak much to the rest of his sex."

"Yah, but this wasn't just any man, he's a super man. The most manliest man of all men. Type A alpha male. He's the peak of what men aspire to be." 

"Then they have a long way to go from what I can tell." Lois said scoffing. "I'd like to see you try and stop a laser beam with your bare fists."

"You really demand perfection, you know that." Chad said, pulling his chair away frustrated. 

"Only the best for the best," Lois said, tossing her hair back. 

A laugh entered the room as Clark joined the conversation. 

"Good morning everyone. How are you doing, Lois? That must have been an extremely frightening encounter."

"Frightening for you maybe, I was too busy thinking about the story I needed to write."

Clark laughed again. It was such a cheery sound. Was he making fun of her or…? 

"And Superman, what did you think of him? You got to meet him in person didn't you?" Clark asked. Everyone's ears perked at that question. 

"Yes I met him," Lois said. She tapped thoughtfully. "He was… exactly what I would expect from a superman."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Clark asked. 

"I don't know yet." Lois said. "I think this article says it best," Lois pulled out the printed KMCP news magazine and opened to the article she had been reading the other day. She quoted, "'a vigilante in blue and red gymnast spandex stopping criminals with inhuman strength… Can run faster than a bullet, jump over tall buildings and fly, often being mistaken for a bird or a plane.'"

"What is that you're reading from?" Clark asked.

"Just some cheesy article from a competitor. Oh, is that your name on there?" Lois said.

Clark came over and looked at the article. "Oh," he said, recognizing the piece, "I never got a chance to finish that one before I left so Marge took it over. It was supposed to be a piece on economics, but apparently she took it in an entirely different direction."

"Is that so? Listen to this last part, 'No one truly knows who this solitary man is.'" Lois turned to Clark, "Seems to me that he intends to keep it that way."

Clark shrugged. "Pity."

"Pity? I call that a mystery to be cracked. And I intend to be the one to crack it," Lois said. She wanted competition but Clark wasn't giving in.

Clark nodded, "I hope you do. And all the best of luck to you."

"What, no interest?" Lois asked.

Clark shrugged, "Sounds like just another type A alpha male to me."

Lois shrugged in response, "Who knows maybe he's different." Clark was definitely winning brownie points.

"Maybe, we'll see." Clark said smiling. 

"I suppose we will," Lois said.