Nurse Ma-An finished up her cleaning and sweeping before we could really get into our conversation. But before she started, I just had to ask her name. This was the second time I'd run into her, and I still didn't know it.
"Mary Anne. Just call me Ma-An. Nurse Ma-An, or Ate Ma-An."
"Okay... Nurse Ma-An."
"So, are you good now? Can we continue our chat about my nephew? I won't report this session because I'm not really trained for counseling. I just made that up earlier... My main concern is that you might have a lot on your mind, with no one to talk to; keeping all these secrets which just turn into pressure."
Nurse Ma-An sat down at her desk, her swivel chair facing me. She sat with her legs crossed just like when she was talking to Joe Peter. I decided to meet her stare directly, trying to ignore the distraction.
"Just ask me whatever you want to know, ma'am," I said, still staring at her crossed legs. If she moved wrong, I might catch a glimpse of her panties, or even more.
"Why are you staring at my legs?"
I quickly looked up, searching for her eyes.
I just shook my head and looked away.
"I can't help it, ma'am... it's right there. Why do nurses wear stuff like that, ma'am? Even the female student teachers wear tight outfits."
"Well, back in the day, nurses didn't have a great reputation. Did you know that they were considered pleasure givers? As in, they would pleasure their patients sexually."
"M-ma'am, I didn't mean to. My eyes just go there, sorry. It's the same with any attractive girl in tight clothes. I look but I don't catcall or anything..."
"You don't catcall women?"
"N-no, I don't, ma'am. I'm respectful to women. I've never done anything bad. I'm decent with women. Maybe I think about them, and they become objects of my desire. I guess that makes my thoughts dirty, but you said that's normal..."
"Do you have anyone to talk to about these feelings?"
"My cousin Jennifer, Mags, and you, ma'am. Also Liza, when we got close."
"No male friends? Why only girls?"
"I don't know. Maybe because I'm new here, and I don't like the crazy stuff guys do."
"Are you conscious about your image? It seems like you're not being true to yourself, like you're wearing a mask to impress people. Why not try coming out of your shell? You might be too comfortable like this, which makes it hard for you to get along with other guys, turning them into enemies."
"I'm okay like this, ma'am, even if you say I'm not being true to myself. Do I really need to impress them, ma'am? What are we going to talk about? Girls? Sex? Lust?"
"That's more normal. You said you've had experiences, right? Maybe you've gotten used to it. You know exactly how to charm girls..."
"...let's go back to Liza. How close did you two get? How far did you go?"
"M-ma'am, there's nothing wrong with my relationship with Liza. I loved and respected her. There was just that one time when I accidentally saw her in the bathroom because I was with her when she was changing for P.E. And when we went to the cemetery to visit her grandma's grave, I got weirded out by Liza's behavior. Sometimes she acts like a kid, and other times she's moody. Kind of like you, ma'am. Suddenly, you change your tone... I can't tell if you're siding with me or against me."