Pauline
I sat before the mirror watching my face covered in layers of make-up, I wasn't sure what she kept covering my face in but it was coming out good. I looked at the time on my wristwatch and it was just a few hours before the shoot. I still had to get my hair done and fit myself into the pretty, black, flowing dress that was hanging on one of the racks by the corner. She took a final look at my face, and with a nod of satisfaction, she finally released me from the long torture.
Finally having enough space to see my face since she was done, I took in my beauty. She always did a great job even though it takes hours of puncturing my face, covering it in this and that.
"Do you like it?" She asked, confident look on her face. She knew she was good, and I don't hide it either. I appreciated commending people when they deserve it, and of course setting them straight when they do things wrong.
"You know you are good". I complimented her, she smiled, packing up her tools as the hairstylist strode in.
Usually, they would love to maximize time by working at the same time but I preferred taking it one after the other. I don't appreciate my head being pushed in different directions by different hands. However, the stylist came late, as she should have worked on my hair before I got my make-up done.
I pulled out my phone, looking through the internet. Suddenly, Ashley's picture popped up on my FYP. I rolled my eyes at her shoot for the YK fashion, she was always portrayed as my rival on tabloids and articles but to me, she couldn't meet up. I had more influence than she does in the industry, I get paid higher, and I'm on higher request than she was. To me, she was just some wannabe using rivalry as a means to climb the ladder of success, in short I'd call her — A clout.
My hair got done in no time and I was ready to fit into the dress. The dress was held on both sides by the two designers while I stepped into it. It was a long, black dress, the newest release of Phantom Fashion. One of the designers in charge tried pulling up the zipper of the dress but it seemed to tight.
"Can you take a deep breathe while I zip this up?" She asked. I was still focused on my phone, checking Ashley's shoot. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't stalking her, I just wanted to see how hard she was trying to beat me, and she wasn't even close. I took a deep breathe and the zipper went smoothly, leaving the dress quite tight and uncomfortable.
"Didn't you take my measurements before preparing the dress?" I asked the designers, the dress was supposed to be custom made so it comes out perfectly in the shoot.
"We did ma'am". They both replied.
"Why then is it so tight and uncomfortable?" I yelled at them. It was hard enough waking in this unreasonably high heels, do I have to combine an extremely uncomfortable dress? They both stayed quiet, staring at the ground like I had said something extreme. I shook my head, ignoring them and went out for my shoot.
Everything was going so smoothly, I had my fake smile on my face all the time. I had practiced them so well, they are starting to feel real. The truth was I hated all of these, smiling for the camera even though I knew it was fake, enduring the torturous clothes and heels every time. Above everything, I hated being in the face of the entire world, everything I do comes up as news. It's always Pauline buys a new building, Pauline visits the mall, Pauline seen eating at a restaurant.
Of course there were anti fans always trying to have me seem like the worst person to the world. Those ignorant fools have no idea how hard it was to live this life, they still choose to make it their life objective to torture me. I can't go on about trolls. They complain about everything, me refusing to take a picture, my dress not looking good on me. If I gain weight, I'm neglecting my duties as a model, I think I'm a big shot and keeping in shape was of no need to me. If I lose weight, then I'm depressed, or probably trying to protest to my agency for putting me through stress.
I just want to live a normal life like everyone else does, make friends and spend meaningful time together without having to think about who is watching. This all began four years ago when I tried on a dress at a fancy boutique, I was only trying to wear one of those dress for once in my life but I got lucky, so to speak. Yes, being a model had turned my life around. I get to live a very expensive lifestyle, I get whatever it was I needed that money could buy and my family had no need to suffer for a day ever again.
The dress look so good on me and I luckily caught the eye of a designer. They were having a shoot in the boutique that very day and immediately had me join the shoot, and that was the beginning of my career. One of the reasons I keep enduring this was my family, they'd flip if I ever decide to give up.
As I stood in the present, striking a pose for the camera, a fan blowing my hair, I felt confident. I was the star model, one of the best in the industry. After the first take, I was taking a rest when this young lady came with my juice. Just as I was about taking it from her, she spilled it all over my body.
"I'm so sorry". She apologized immediately. I immediately had a panic attack, the liquid flying all over my body brought memories I thought I had managed to get rid of but apparently, they were still there. I lost all sense of reasoning and without thinking, I hit her hard across the face causing everyone to stare at me in shock. For the first time in my four years career, I lost my cool in public and did the unthinkable.
I stood there in shock of what I had done, I had let my anger get the best of me forgetting how many camera were there watching me. Unsure of what to do, I walked out on everything and returned to my dressing room. I sat there in the wet dress shaking as my mind kept flooding with those terrible memories, I held my head trying to get steady, breathing in and out as I had always practiced over the years.
It's been a long time since I had these attacks, I can't believe it's come back. Once I could think straight, I grabbed my purse and swallowed two of my calming pills. I took out my phone and it was all over the internet.
"Top star models slaps a crew member during a shoot over spilled drink"
That was my life, it was as if they were always waiting for an opportunity and I had given them the very best one today. The public was chewing me out, and my phone began ringing. My manager kept calling me, so did the CEO of my agency, it was a huge mess but I did what I knew how to do the most — Ignore them all.
I made my way out of my dressing room, trying to look as perfect as I could. My makeup needed a little touch up and so did my hair. Since we already shot the dress, we could move on to the next —or that was what I thought. As I got back outside, they were already packing up. I wondered what was going on, we still had a long shoot ahead of us.
In the midst of it all, my assistant, Anika finally showed up, after all of the chaos. I wondered where she was when everything went down. She was busy arguing with the staffs, I moved closer to where they were so I could know what was going on.
"It's a mess, the company would reach out to your agency but for now, the shoot is cancelled". I couldn't believe my ears, were they cancelling my shoot? This has never happened in the history of Pauline .
"Why is my shoot cancelled?" I asked in disbelief. Anika looked up at me sadly, this was no joke.
"Reporters are going crazy, we only managed to get them out. You created such a scene and this wasn't even a private shoot. It's also not helping matters that the lady you slapped in being interviewed right now with tears in her eyes. The company would reevaluate the situation and get back to your manager, for now…."
I walked out on them not wanting to hear any more of it, I was hyperventilating! Today was really the worse. I went back into my dressing room to calm myself yet again, my phone wouldn't stop ringing.
"Pauli…"
"Don't even! Anika where were you? You let a random lady handle my drink even though you know I don't allow that, and this is why!". I didn't let her finish before lashing out at her. She knew my rules yet she went against it, thus this mess. I don't blame her for my losing control but had she done her job right for once in her life, then maybe all of these could've been avoided.