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"Wahhhhhhhh"
When Lucy started, he never stopped crying.
"Wahhhhhhhh"
"Master," Tadi tried to get the attention of his master, who was casually walking around the house.
"Wahhhhhhhh"
"Master!" Since Kabun had selectively plugged his ears at some point, Tadi used telepathic communication to get his master's attention.
"Wahhhhhhhh"
"What?" Kabun finally responded.
"Master, Lucy has been crying for a while now."
"I know. That's why I'm walking around to calm Lucy down, but it looks like it's not working. The house tour is almost done anyway."
Kabun decided to stop walking around and end the house tour. He started walking toward the master bedroom and entered it. Inside was a large wooden crib as tall as Kabun's waist, next to a bedroom drawer of the same height.
A cushion covered the top of the drawer, and Lucy was placed on it. Unlike the villagers outside, Lucy wore Tadi on his head in a tuque form with a pair of bear ears sticking out, a long-sleeved top, a diaper, long pairs of trousers, and socks.
Kabun took off Lucy's pants and opened his diaper.
"He's dry. I wonder if he pooped."
"Master, watch out!"
Kabun was holding both of Lucy's feet and was about to lift his lower body to check if he had pooped when he suddenly heard Tadi's shout.
Kabun released Lucy and froze as he felt something wet on his face. His face was wet with pee—Lucy's pee. Not just pee, Lucy even farted loudly.
"Gasp—"
"F*ck—"
"Dadadadaaa—Wahahahaaa—"
Tadi let out a gasp while Kabun cursed simultaneously. Time seemed to freeze after the incident, and then suddenly, Lucy's attempt to pronounce "Daddy" was heard, followed by his laughter.
"Master?"
Tadi continued to communicate via telepathy since his master seemed too shocked to hear the surrounding noise.
Tadi had never seen Kabun so helpless in his long history of serving this god who only knew how to sleep. Tadi pondered that his master was the only surviving god from the old universe because he only knew how to sleep.
At this time, Lucy started wiggling and trying to turn around, looking like he wanted to crawl away.
Feeling Lucy's movement, Kabun flinched. He made Lucy float before him and quickly taped his diaper in place.
"Grab the baby wipes, a new diaper, and new clothes." He quickly started giving orders.
Kabun materialized a face towel to wipe his wet face and clothes while keeping his eyes on Lucy, who seemed about to cry.
Tadi heard his master's orders and transformed into his plushy form. He floated next to the top drawer while his master backed away, wiping his face and clothes.
Tadi noticed his useless, soft paws and grew three sharp claws on each paw. As he was about to open the top drawers, Kabun stopped him.
"Don't scratch the new furniture."
"Master, my abilities are sealed. I can only levitate my body but cannot move items telepathically."
"...."
Unable to get a reply from his master, Tadi retracted his sharp metal claws and extended three silicon-based appendages instead.
He attempted to open the first drawer with great difficulty, extended his right paw, and grabbed a baby wipe and a new diaper. After successfully obtaining the first two items, Tadi efficiently collected all the remaining items his master had requested.
After dropping the last item at the end of the cushion, he moved to check what his master was doing.
Kabun was currently pointing at a ball of yellow liquid. The towel he used to dry his face and top was on the side, dry but stained, just like his top, which had been wet with Lucy's pee.
Lucy was floating and trying to catch the yellow-colored liquid ball, which then hit his face and splashed all over him. Lucy chuckled, seemingly having the time of his life. Like a living thing, the liquid floated, gathered into another yellow liquid ball, and started taunting him again.
Splash—
"Wahahahaha— Dadadadada—"
Splash—
"Wahahahaha—"
Splash—
"Dadadadada— Wahahahaha—"
With a stoic expression, Kabun kept splashing Lucy with his pee. On the other hand, Tadi had a constipated look on his stuffy, toy-like face. He looked back and forth between his master and Lucy, who was unaware of how audacious his father's actions were.
Tadi was unsure if he should laugh or cry. This event was the second time he had learned something new about his master. He had learned that his master could be as petty as a five-year-old.
"Master, everything is ready."
Unable to watch what his respectable master was doing, he interrupted Kabun.
Kabun stopped what he was doing, and the ball of yellow liquid evaporated as if it had never existed.
"Waaaahhhhhhh"
When Kabun was about to grab some wipes, Lucy did not give him time and started crying.
"F*ck— Tadi, distract him."
"Waaaahhhhhhh"
"Master!"
"Waaaahhhhhhh"
"What?"
"Waaaahhhhhhh"
"Your language...Master," Tadi's voice started confidently, then it shifted low and became a mumble.
Tadi did not move until his master promised not to curse anymore.
"Waaaahhhhhhh— Waaaahhhhhhh—"
There was a standoff between a floating stuffed bear-like toy and an elf while a floating baby cried his heart out.
"Waaaahhhhhhh— Waaaahhhhhhh— Waaaahhhhhhh—"
Lucy's face started to turn blue from prolonged crying, so Kabun agreed— or so it seemed.
Tadi started moving closer to Lucy against his will. His movement resembled that of a puppet, and he began making funny faces with his movable face.
Kabun was moving Tadi's body mechanically, and it seemed to work. However, Lucy got over it immediately and started crying again.
"Start distracting Lucy," Kabun ordered, his face still plastered with a stoic expression.
"....."
Not getting a response from his subordinate, Kabun tried encouraging him but failed.
Sigh—
"Fine." Kabun acquiesced.
"Master, you promise not to say any more bad words in front of Lucy?" Tadi, not letting his master getaway or backing out on his own words based on a technicality, asked.
"What? No! Whenever I curse, it will automatically censored for anyone younger than eighteen within hearing distance."
Underestimating his master's stubbornness left Tadi itching to research how to deal with a master like him online.
"Master, did someone wish for you to be like this? Who made you do this? I will give them a free tour of all levels of hell! Maybe we can reverse it if I wish it, right? This is saddening. Master, you have changed." Tadi went through the grieving process in one breath.
"Do not be melodramatic. You just have not been with me long enough to learn more about me."
"But—but—"
"Besides, I am immune to my ability to grant a wish."
"Are you sure, Master?"
"Start distracting Lucy. I need to remove all his clothes, wipe him from his face to his toes, and put his diaper and clothes on very quickly."
Tadi, whom Kabun was still controlling, gave up and started moving independently. At least his master would not assault anybody's ears until they reached eighteen years of age.
While Lucy was distracted, Kabun gently wiped his face and hair, followed by the back of his ears, then his neck and nape. He then removed his top and wiped his upper body, arms, and fingers clean.
"Master."
"I know. I am going to put Lucy's new top on now." Putting on clothes after wiping or drying Lucy's body will keep him warm even though the house temperature is comfortable.
As far as Tadi was aware, this was the first time his master had taken care of a child. He was being careful, as he was created to help his master grant wishes easily.
Both clothes were thrown into the nearby laundry hamper. Next, Lucy's diaper was removed, rolled into a ball, and then thrown into the garbage bin next to the laundry hamper.
Brettttt— brurrth— plop! blop!
"F*ck!!!"
"Sh*t—"
This time, both cursed simultaneously.
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