"Life as a corporate drone is far from glamorous; it's downright miserable."
Akira's voice was faint, tinged with the effects of excessive sake and despair.
He slurped the last bit of udon from his bowl, the steam fogging his glasses and creating a dramatic haze around his melancholic face. The harsh glare of the fluorescent lights reflected in his bloodshot, tired eyes.
He mumbled,
"Endless meetings, pointless paperwork, and forced laughter at my bald boss's lame jokes—that's my life in a nutshell."
Chopsticks clattering as he put them down.
He staggered out of the ramen shop as the neon sign flickered in the rain, casting eerie shadows on the wet street. He swayed, waving an imaginary business card as he mumbled to himself.
"Hi, I'm Akira Fujiwara, 48, and a certified wage slave,"
Nearly tripping over his own feet.
"My hobbies include dreaming of better days and drowning my sorrows in sake every weekend."
He rubbed his foggy glasses against his soaked sleeve, attempting to clear them, and continued:
"Ah, weekends... the magical 48 hours when I transform from a soulless office worker into, well, a drunk."
The world spun like a merry-go-round, with buildings swaying and streetlights blurring into streaks of yellow and white. He continued his drunken wander, barely able to keep his balance.
"Who needs stability when you've got sake, bad karaoke, and udon?" he chuckled, hiccuping mid-sentence.
Stumbling through the streets, Akira accidentally bumped into someone, spilling their coffee.
The person shouted angrily,
"Watch where you're going, idiot!"
Akira raised his hands in mock surrender, swaying.
The man glared at him, but he just smiled. He was too drunk to care.
"Oh, sorry! I didn't see you there."
Too intoxicated to notice the truck's loud honk, he turned just in time to see its blinding headlights approaching. The large truck loomed over him, a terrifying force that seemed to seal his fate.
In those final moments, Akira's life didn't flash before his eyes in a dramatic reel. Instead, fragmented memories drifted by—fleeting glimpses of carefree childhood days and the freedom he once cherished.
He felt an inexplicable peace for someone hit by a truck. It was as if he was numb, unable to feel any pain.
He whispered, his voice fading:
"Well, this is it. Goodbye, cruel world. Or not so cruel. Just mildly annoying world. Or whatever."
As his consciousness dimmed, a persistent thought popped into his mind:
"Wait. I've seen enough anime to know what happens next."
He took a deep, shuddering breath.
"Is this my shot at reincarnation? Hopefully to a world with less paperwork."
He managed to say it, a small smile forming on his lips.
With that final thought, he drifted into unconsciousness, the world around him fading into darkness.
-----
He slowly opened one eye. Or, at least, he tried. He couldn't see anything but darkness. Panic rose in his throat.
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
He sighed deeply before shouting again:
"Did I go clubbing and forget to leave the cave?"
His voice echoed in the void.
A soft, whispering voice tickled his mind:
[Swimming Ability Acquired.]
"Swimming ability? For whom? Is this some kind of weird VR game gone wrong? And where am I in this dark abyss?"
His curiosity was piqued despite his confusion. He flailed his arms and legs but couldn't feel them. He suddenly felt as if he were stuck in a giant udon bowl.
"Maybe I should have skipped the extra serving of udon last night."
Suddenly, a rush of water carried him away on a chaotic underwater journey. He collided with unseen objects, each bump jolting him awake. Before he could think, a primal urge to move surged through him.
He struggled through a swirling haze of shapes and lights. The environment felt like an underwater frenzy, disorienting but vivid, as he tried to make sense of the chaos around him.
The realization hit him like a ton of bricks: he was one of them. His entire being had transformed.
Suddenly, a giant sperm with a competitive glint bumped into him.
"Move aside, newbie!"
It yelled like a street thug.
"The egg is mine!"
So, this was it—a desperate fight for survival, a race like no other. Before Akira could formulate a response, another announcement interrupted.
The familiar voice interrupted again with a strange announcement:
[Emergency Maneuver: Tail Whip Unlocked]
Unconsciously, his tail flicked, avoiding a collision with a group of glowing sperm holding neon tridents. What strange dream was he trapped in?
The competition was fierce, with each contender surging with primal urgency.
The whispering voice, which Akira had dubbed "Coach Big Mouth" despite its lack of encouragement, continued to grant him bizarre power-ups.
[Heat Wave Attack Unlocked]
Akira concentrated, feeling a burning sensation building inside him. He unleashed a wave of heat, scattering a group of glitter-bombing sperm who screamed and turned into a sparkling mess.
The path ahead was a chaotic mess of swirling currents and hostile bacteria, with the constant threat of other sperm racing alongside. But Akira, fueled by a primal competitive spirit and Coach Big Mouth's bizarre power-ups, found himself leading the charge.
[Super Sperm Speed Activated]
The finish line materialized—a giant, shimmering egg. As Akira prepared for the final push, a hulking sperm with a handlebar mustache blocked his way. It didn't speak; it just gave him a menacing glare.
Thinking quickly, Akira used his latest unlock...
[Tactical Tailspin]
He moved swiftly through the water, skillfully avoiding the mustached menace. With graceful speed, he propelled himself toward the egg. In a final burst of speed, he pierced through the egg's outer layer, and the world around him dissolved into a swirling vortex of light.
[Evolution Initiated]
The voice announced again.
[Germinal Stage]
The vortex carried Akira into a warm, nourishing darkness. The frenetic energy of the race was gone, replaced by a sense of calm and slow transformation.
Weeks passed.
Akira drifted in the warm, soothing darkness, feeling a mix of boredom and curiosity. As the voice continued its cryptic announcements, he tried to stay engaged despite his limited surroundings.
[Blastocyst Unlock]
His mind was busy coming up with sarcastic responses as he listened to the voice's monotone announcements.
"Blastocyst unlocked? More like blast-this-situation unlocked!"
Bored and frustrated, he wondered aloud,
"Is this some kind of cosmic joke, being trapped here without any escape?"
To pass the time, he imagined himself as a hero leading a mission through the labyrinthine Fallopian tube. It was a whimsical distraction from his current confinement.
As time went on, he imagined himself taking on the role of a "Traffic Warden," directing the chaotic flow of sperm with an imaginary whistle and sign.
"Alright, everyone, keep moving! This Fallopian tube's too crowded for all of us!"
He pictured a chaotic sea of sperm jostling each other in a frantic race.
Suddenly, a new announcement startled
The familiar voice announced again:
[Embryo Unlock.]
He mimicked the voice's pronouncements as a morbid form of entertainment.
He complained:
"Embryo unlocked? More like embryo-tionally exhausted!"
More weeks passed..
[Fetus Unlock.]
The announcement triggered a humorous thought in him.
He shouted in his mind,
"Fetus?! I'm a fetus now."
The passing months seemed slow, but he embraced the craziness of it all. To entertain himself, he thought of another silly idea.
He cleared his throat.
Full of enthusiasm, he declared in his mind: "For his next trick, the Amazing Akira will perform the Human Pretzel Twist!"
In a dramatic tone, he narrated his journey as if he were in a TV show.
He went so far as to name his left leg "Lefty" and his right arm "Righty."
He kept coming up with new, silly ideas to entertain himself in the void. As he floated in space, he imagined himself performing underwater yoga poses, a contortionist in a womb-sized circus.
One particularly enthusiastic stretch resulted in a well-placed kick against the womb wall. He heard a muffled shout from the watery barrier.
"Arthur, the baby kicked!" a woman said, her excitement palpable.
"Uh oh,"
Akira felt embarrassed by his actions.
"Hope I didn't accidentally trigger a'mom-hammer' response."
Although it seemed slow for him, the passage of time inside the womb continued to progress, and he kept trying to amuse himself. As his senses began to develop, one night a particularly strong smell wafted in. Wrinkling an imaginary nose, Akira envisioned a giant pizza hanging just outside the womb.
"Hey! Easy on the anchovies, Mom! My taste buds are still developing here!"
In his mind, he placed a small "Do Not Anchovy" sign on the womb wall. All his whimsical ideas kept him entertained, his mind buzzing with witty retorts.
The next day, a beautiful melody filled the air. Instinctively, Akira wiggled his tiny body to the rhythm. A soft laugh echoed through the womb.
From outside the womb, he heard a woman speak, her warmth enveloping him like a comforting blanket.
"Our baby seems to like your music, Arthur!"
A warmth blossomed in Akira's chest.
He even started conducting an imaginary orchestra with his newfound limbs, amused by his new reality.
As Akira continued to grow, he found himself pondering the meaning of his bizarre journey. He thought back to his life as a corporate drone—the endless cycle of mundane tasks and fleeting pleasures. Here, in this new existence, he felt a strange sense of purpose and connection, even in the most absurd circumstances.
"Maybe," he mused, "this reincarnation is a chance to find something more meaningful."
After nine long months in the womb, Akira Fujiwara finally emerged into his new world as a baby boy. The bright lights and sounds overwhelmed his senses, but a sense of excitement and curiosity filled his tiny heart.
He thought quietly:
"Come on, new world, bring on the adventures!"
As he gazed up at the loving faces of his new parents, Akira felt a profound sense of hope. This new beginning, bizarre as it was, offered endless possibilities. He resolved to embrace every moment, find joy in the little things, and seek out the meaning he had longed for in his previous life.
With a tiny, determined smile, he thought:
"Let's make the most of this second chance."
----
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[A/N]
Thank you so much for reading! Your comments are my motivation, so please don't forget to leave one. I'm new to writing, and your feedback means a lot to me. Please consider adding it to your library. Thank you again! I know many of you will get confused and have a lot of questions in the upcoming chapters. I'm giving you a heads-up—just keep reading because I don't want to spoil anything for you. I hope you'll continue to support me.