Dylan
I have never enjoyed the idea of being alone in bed looking up at the same boring ceiling but lying here in this bed I didn't mind looking up at this one. It probably helped that I wasn't alone more than anything.
Sleep was eluding me, and I was actually okay with it. Rae had been trying to calm me down for the past few hours. For the first time she seemed almost exhausted, which was a new and unpleasant.
What really bothered me more than anything was how excited I was to feel all these new sensations both then and now.
Things have been happening or changing slowly both externally and within myself. While I was concerned and feared them, I was also trying to learn how to embrace them and figure out why I also liked them.
I wasn't sure how to define or describe these changes and while some of them felt small and insignificant, some of them have felt so large that I was surprised that the others couldn't immediately see them when they looked at me.
The changes had been so striking to my own eyes that I didn't know how they hadn't noticed it. Then again, all of them were still so new to my life that maybe they couldn't recognize them.
Regardless, the biggest of them all were not on the outside. Even though those were pretty eye catching, it was the internal ones that were the most drastic.
The ones that I could feel in my blood, this power, this fire that felt like it had always been there just dormant. Still, it is a part of me that felt new and as if it was slowly being unleashed.
It was also that power, that fire that had overflowed earlier today with Mr. Winter's uncle. Rae was the one who had kept me in check and kept it from being much worse than it was.
But what I was secretly holding onto was how much I liked that feeling, that power, the fact that I am not only more than what I appear, but that I am stronger than what they all think.
Savoring these changes felt wrong at first, but as time passes, the less guilt I feel, and the more excitement has begun to build.
I hadn't been able to sleep even with Lecia in the bed beside me. She on the other hand had begun to snore the moment her head had hit the pillow.
Earlier when we were eating dinner, I had noticed a change in the string that I felt between us. It was like a soft stinging coming off the connection and I knew that something was bothering her.
That was another one of the new things that had continued to evolve inside me. The connections between the other wolves around me was becoming more solid and definable.
Rae had told me to imagine the feeling as strings that connected myself and the others so that I could create a clear imagine in my head. So far it was working pretty well.
When Tristan and I had talked together earlier I had mentioned this to him, and he had also liked the idea that Rae had come up with. In fact, he was so excited by it, and he had tons of questions about how each string felt.
That had ended up being the last thing we spoke of during conversation alone, but it wasn't all that we had discussed.
Tristan and I had spoken about quite a lot today and that was probably another reason why I couldn't sleep. He told me about my share of Black Sol and what he had already began to set aside for me such as money, property, and assets.
Of course, the main thing we spoke about was my decision to go back to Blood Mist. I let him tell me about his fears of what might happen if I went back there, and I heard every excuse he could come up with patiently.
So, when I was sure that he was completely finished telling me everything he had to say, I gave him just a few of the reasons that I not only wanted but needed to go back.
While I still hadn't been able to open up and tell him every single thing that Alpha Rogan had done to me, I told him a few of the ones that were easier to talk about.
At first Tristan had practically frozen in place, but when I saw the color of one of his eyes change and darken, I knew that it was not just Tristan there with me, but Kesh as well.
When he spoke, I knew it was Kesh who I was talking to by the change in his voice and tone. While I felt a bit of hesitation, I also relished the feeling of having someone angered on my behalf.
"Dylan, has he ever physically hurt you?"
Those were some of the things that I still wasn't ready to share with anyone, but I knew that lying about it now would do none of us any good. So, while I didn't elaborate on any of those memories, I looked them in the eyes as I nodded and said, "yes."
Neither of them spoke for a time, but I saw the tears that rolled down their cheeks and I knew that they were for me. I also knew they were for the regret I could feel building in them and that was the last thing that I wanted either of them to feel.
"Do you understand why I have to go? I have to see if he is still there. I have to see if he is alive. Because if he has taken him from me to," but I couldn't finish and when I looked at Tristan, I knew I didn't need to.
We had still been sitting on the counter, but Tristan or Kesh had jumped down and had practically run over to me and wrapped me in their arms.
"We will do it together. Okay. I will not stop you from going, but I need you to promise to stay by my side. I won't survive if anything happens to you."
Their words were muffled as they spoke them into my hair, but I heard it loud and clear. Tears had already filled my eyes and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get any more words out so as I hugged him back, I whispered through our link.
"Thank you and I promise I'll stay by your side."
I felt Tristan squeeze me even tighter for a moment and right before I felt his voice flood in my mind, the string or tether that I knew belonged to him felt like it changed or locked into place and solidified into something as unbreakable as steel.
"I'll hold you to that promise little sister."
Somehow, we had just finished embracing when they knocked on the door to deliver our food. It had caused us to not only move from sitting on the counter but shifted our conversation to a new topic.
If I was being honest, it wasn't the meeting, or the talk with Tristan that was keeping me from sleep. While those were things I had to really think over and dissect, it was what Lecia had given me at dinner.
Somehow in all the craziness of the past week I had completely forgotten the ring that HE had given me our last night together.
Gods, I still couldn't even take it out of the bag it was currently in. As I clutched the bag earlier and even now, I could feel it's outline pressing into my fingers and palm.
The moment Lecia had pulled the small velvet bag from the pocket of her pants I had almost frozen up completely. Rae had rushed forward and was coaxing me to breath and to try to stay calm.
My heart was racing, and I felt those same urges racing and building deep within. me. The desire to hurt and burn and lash out in anger and pain, but Rae was absolute in her demands to make me focus and stay calm.
I had watched the others fear and worry play across their faces, and it only helped Rae's actions reach me. Even when I finally told everyone what it was, I was unable to take it out of the bag.
Holding it was almost too much because the feelings from that night and the images of he and I were trying to escape from behind the door where I was holding them locked away.
The talk I had with Tristan earlier about the strings and links with other wolves and the way to use visualization to help process these new feelings was easier because I was already doing it with that damn door.
Rae had also helped me with it, but it was really hard to keep those things hidden behind it with that reminder so real and in my grasp.
I'm sure all of the others had noticed that I kept the bag in my hand the entire evening, gods, I still had it clenched in my palm even now.
As I laid here still staring up at the ceiling, I could picture the ring perfectly in my mind. The room was pitch black, so when the door creaked open, the slight amount of light that came in seemed too bright.
"Dylan, are you awake?" Tristan's voice was soft, but as soon as I heard it, I sat up, slid off the bed, and was walking towards him before my eyes had even fully adjusted.
When I got to the door, he opened it a bit wider so that I could walk out, but when I saw Micah standing there beside a fully dressed Nico, I wondered just how lost I had been in my thoughts to not have heard them out here at all.
Nico still had a bit of sleep still in his features, but he stood tall and ready as if he knew something I was yet to be informed about.
Tristan was also fully dressed and when I looked between the three of them, I was hit by a sudden thought that they might actually have been planning on leaving without me.
Turning to Tristan again, I asked a little too loudly, "are you leaving me behind?" An icy sting ran down my arms and I felt the tears fill my eyes, but it wasn't Tristan who moved towards me, it was Micah.
I noticed then as I watched him move closer to me. He was not dressed as if he was about to pose for a photo shoot like he usually was, but he looked like he was about to go into battle.
In all black it made his features stand out even more and I couldn't help but notice that he looked as if he was actually one of the many guards I had seen around this place.
Micah was sweating and his usually composed and effortlessly chic demeanor was long gone. Right now, he looked like the deadly fae that everyone warned us about when we were children.
There was a reason why the fae were so feared and had been hunted. There was a strength in Micah that just screamed impending death and his magic even gave off a stifling oppressive feel, but it was his words that cut me right now.
When Micah looked me over and then down at my hand, I couldn't stop the way that I automatically clenched the bag even tighter.
"I see that you are still holding it, have you put it down at all since she gave it to you," he asked me with true curiosity in his voice.
Unsure if he was making fun of me or if there was a purpose to his question, I shook my head quickly. I was not ashamed of myself and would not feel bad about my connection to his ring, to my ring.
"Rings like that have power Dylan, I can feel it. Not just in the stone but embedded in the binding of the band. Use it, Dylan. If he is dead, it will tell you, and we can leave here and never look back. But if he is alive, I promise I will help you find him."
Tristan spoke up then, "we are not leaving you behind Dylan, but the plans have changed, and we will need to leave now, as soon as you change, but Micah needs you to check this for us before we go."
His words hurt, but I knew that he was right, if there was anything that might help us find him, I had to use it. We didn't have much time left, and we needed to try anything and everything we could to prepare before leaving.
My hand was shaking so much that it took longer to grasp the ring and pull it out of the bag but putting it on was necessary so even though I dreaded it, I closed my eyes and thrust it onto my finger.
The moment it sat in place I practically doubled over as my breath felt like it had been sucked right out of my body. I not only felt a rush of pain and sorrow, but I felt a pull stronger than anything I've ever felt before.
Each wolf felt connected to me by a strand. Some strands felt thin and flimsy while others felt thick like rope. A few felt solid and heavy as if they were made of the strongest metals.
This however was different. This connection wasn't just a tether to another being, it was as if the other half of my heart and soul were coming back to life. This was the bond that had solidified just a bit too late.
A name. A vow. A bond. Mate. My mate. Eren.
Gasping, I felt Tristan grab me to see what happened, but I was able to get out the words I had been hoping and dreading all at once.
"He. He's still alive."