Lecia
Gods! If it wasn't for Brea, there was no way that I would have been able to still be lying here in the bed after everything I heard coming from the other room earlier.
From the moment that Dylan had gotten up off the bed and gone to the living room, I had been awake, but I hadn't wanted to intrude on what they were saying if it didn't directly involve me.
When Tristan had knocked on the door of the bedroom, he had not called me and Dylan, just her. So even though I had been awake the second I saw the light pierce the darkness of the room, I pretended that I wasn't.
Nico was out there and all in the mix, but I knew that if he needed me then he would have come to get me or would have done something to get me up. Of course, that didn't happen either.
Brea had wanted to get up and follow her, but I would not force myself into her space or her conversations. I was done taking liberties with my words and letting my actions rule over my common sense of decency.
And while I had been able to keep myself in this bed that wasn't mine in a room that wasn't either. There were a few instances where Brea almost won over.
The first time was almost immediately after she left the room. Dylan had asked if they were going to be leaving her behind and the fear in her voice made Brea growl as we both waited anxiously for their response.
Tristan had made it abundantly clear that he was against the idea of taking Dylan anywhere near Blood Mist, but with Rogan coming here, it was probably one of the safest places for her.
It helped that we all knew he would just about destroy anything that might harm her, but for a second, just a second, I feared that he would rescind his promise to her and was actually planning on leaving her behind.
The response that had come from Micah had made me freeze and I could only imagine what it was doing to her. Dylan had said that Eren's ring or her ring rather, was inside the black velvet bag I had given her last night, but Micah was asking her to use it somehow.
He spoke of magic and power and it rolled naturally off his tongue, probably because he was so accustomed to such things, but it wasn't those words that had caught my attention.
No, it was when he had spoken about leaving and never coming back. Those were the words that seemed to pierce through the haze of sleep that had still been sitting with me.
Leaving this place wasn't a big deal to me since we had only really just arrived here, but it was the way he said it that felt odd. There was an implication that there was in fact, another place that they would not only go, but may actually prefer to be and that is what held my curiosity.
When Tristan assured her that they had no intention of leaving her behind, I felt Brea ease a bit, but it didn't last long because I knew that she was about to put that damn ring on her finger.
Silence had fallen in the other room and for a moment I thought that it was all over, and that Dylan would end up coming back in here to prepare to leave with them, but when I heard Dylan's breathing and heartbeats change, a burst of fear took hold of me.
"He. He's still alive."
Those few little words broke me, and I wasn't even sure why. Was I worried, jealous, afraid? I was frozen, but still listened intently to what was happening, and things were definitely happening.
Nico was calling out to her, Tristan and Micah were both talking to each other or maybe talking over each other, but it sounded like they were trying to now take the ring from her finger, but she refused.
"It's not my pain, it's his."
Her words felt like a slap or reality and when she let out a scream so full of pain and sorrow, I knew that it was because whatever pain he was enduring was probably rushing through her so suddenly that she couldn't contain herself.
We had talked a bit last night before we had fallen asleep. Dylan had whispered to me as we laid facing each other on the bed in the darkness of the room.
She was still trying to figure things out with herself in the midst of trying to understand everything that was happening around us. While I listened to her, I couldn't stop the guilt I felt at making this harder for her.
So, when she spoke about trying to control her emotions, I encouraged her ideas to not only help calm herself down, but the ideas that Rae had been giving her as well.
It was still a shock knowing that somehow this quiet and fragile girl had such power within her. Well, maybe not shocking, I had felt something in Dylan from our very first encounter, but I hadn't expected this.
Brea had wished for me to say more to her as we laid there talking. She urged me to tell her the things I felt both about this situation here, her, and the silver-haired men who seemed too interested in her, but I didn't want to add more to her plate just yet.
Too bad the regret of not telling her those things was pushing at me just as hard as the urge to rush out there and help her was.
Dylan had been trying to control her emotions so that she wouldn't completely lose it in front of the others, but not because she was afraid of what they would think of her. No, it was because she was afraid of what she might do to those around her.
And it was in those words that I felt the things she was not saying. That she was afraid that she might like the things that she did to them.
I felt my insides twist as I listened to her near confession and heard the confusion in her words, but I couldn't, wouldn't ever blame her for anything.
She had been deprived of everything and had somehow still become the kind and amazing person that she is today, but things for her are nowhere near simple and will probably not be anytime soon.
Not knowing who or what she was didn't help matters and while she was finally given the opportunity to learn, things were still coming at her from all sides.
So, when I felt her scream, it filled both my ears and my chest. Anguish so thick and heavy fell over me and even if I wanted to move, I couldn't have.
There are times I can feel things from others stronger and more intensely than I usually do, and this was one of those instances.
Pressure so heavy and vehement felt as if it was pressing down on me and it was mixed with terror as I heard the commotion from the other room.
I wanted to call out to them, to her, to the gods and ask how anyone could survive this sort of overwhelming burden, but when the scent of her blood cut off her scream, I knew exactly what was going on.
Dylan was trying to control her emotions. She had done this even before she realized that she needed to control herself.
Inflicting pain on herself was how she had been doing this even when we were still in Blood Mist. Drawing her own blood was how she was trying to force herself to calm down.
Weird how I was just recalling the times that I had seen her do the very thing that I knew she was doing now. I wasn't sure if it was her palms or another part of her body that she was cutting through, but I knew why she was doing it and I couldn't stop the tears from falling.
How much will she have to continue to suffer like this? I thought softly to myself or maybe Brea. I wasn't sure, but she didn't respond to me even though I knew she heard my thoughts.
I was so lost in my head that I hadn't been able to focus on the things that they were saying outside the room, but I heard movement coming towards our room and closed my eyes quickly.
Dylan rushed inside the room and closed the door behind her. She didn't even bother to say anything. She just rushed straight to the massive walk in closet and was pulling on clothes as she ran inside the restroom.
I heard the flush of the toilet and water from the sink including more splashing as if she was washing not just her hands but her face as well, but it was still too quick to figure out what I should do.
Stay lying down and pretend to be asleep or get up and comfort her and ask if there is anything that I should do or even could do for her.
Those questions ran through my head and as I silently debated with myself, I suddenly felt the bed shift softly by my back.
"Lecia, I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly, but Eren, he's. Well, we have to go now, but I promise I will come back and tell you everything."
Unsure why I couldn't move, I just stayed where I was as still as a freaking board and tried my damndest to keep my breathing slow and steady.
I thought that she was done talking and I was waiting for her to get up and leave so that I could finally get up, but as the seconds ticked by, I didn't feel her move.
It wasn't until I felt the bed shift a bit that my pulse began to quicken a bit. Maybe because I thought she was finally leaving, but I still waited.
Unexpectedly, she leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek, and I wasn't ready for when she whispered close to my ear. It was then that the tears fell, and I knew there was no way I could stop them.
"When you're ready to get up go ahead, but just know that I will make sure that I bring Nico back to you just the way he was when he left. Thank you, and I love you!"
The bed shifted again, and the door opened and closed once more. I heard voices outside in the living room, and then the door to the suite opened and closed. I heard steps from someone coming in again and I knew I wasn't alone, but it didn't matter.
She knew. She had known the whole time that I was awake and that I had been lying there just listening and being useless, but it didn't matter to her. It didn't bother or upset her, and she had once again given me what I didn't know I needed.
"F*ck," I yelled as I cried there in the bed that wasn't mine for the friend who was, but who I, no who no one will ever f*cking deserve.
I let the tears fall and Brea didn't do anything but try to soothe me as she let me cry. Because for all I was and all I may ever be, I will never be near enough of a person, friend, anything for this amazing girl.
After the gods only knew how long, I finally got up from the bed and went to wash up in the bathroom. I showered and went to the closet wrapped in the ultra-lush towels to get dressed in the clothes I had painstakingly picked out yesterday.
It had probably been a good half hour or so since they had left, and I was finally fully dressed and ready to see who it was who Tristan had left on baby-sitting duty.
Swinging the door as wide as it would go, I took a deep breath, pushed myself to my full height, and took the first step out of the still dark room and into the living area.
Reg was sitting at the bar drinking a large glass of milk and when he looked over at me and winked, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
Whatever persona I was trying to put on completely slipped off the moment that I caught that giant oaf of a wolf sitting at the bar drinking cold, white, milk.
I mean seriously, who the hell does that? I mean kids maybe, but grown men who look like, well like they bench cars for exercise, just don't do that. Maybe it was because I had cried so much earlier, but the laughter felt like it was almost all consuming.
My entire body convulsed and began to ache by the time I had finally composed myself, but I didn't miss the slight smirk that Reg had on his face when he looked back towards his now empty glass.
"Ready," he asked me as he got up and went over to the sink and quickly washed out his glass. He placed it upside down on the large wooden drying rack before drying his hands on the tiny dish towel.
Seeing Reg looking so docile was kind of a turn off if I was being honest, but it was also really cute. I knew I pegged him right. Big a** teddy bear, check and check.
"As ready as I'll ever be," I said quickly looking away from him as I adjusted the lapels of the sleek black blazer I was wearing.
The clothes were definitely meant for Dylan, but they fit me well enough since I was wearing a pair of black heeled boots that Tristan's assistant or one of the many assistants in the damn building had bought for her recently.
Even though I knew that I had no intention of actually encountering Alpha Rogan, looking the part that I was trying to play helped me to put all of my attention in becoming someone else.
The sun was just rising off in the distance and I couldn't help but stare a little too long out the massive window wall at the far side of the living room.
For a moment, my mind wondered to other mornings that I had watched the sun rising and who I had been watching it with. Too soon Reg ripped me back to reality when he had somehow gotten close enough to touch me and I hadn't seemed to notice.
Reg touched me atop my right shoulder and even though I knew it was him, I couldn't help the way I flinched. Warmth spread through my cheeks as I turned my face up to his.
I wasn't sure if I was going to apologize or ask why he felt the need to touch me, but he spoke and cut off whatever nonsense was probably about to pour out of my mouth.
"They will be okay, Tristan will not let anything happen to them, just like I won't let anything happen to you."
He didn't smile this time, but only nodded at me before reaching out his hand and pointing towards the front door.
If ever there was a signal to start walking, this must be the most universal one because I nodded slightly at him and then began to walk towards said door.
Small bits of the memories that had seeped into my consciousness were trying to spring back to life and pop up where they were not wanted, so I forced myself to remember what I was supposed to be doing today.
When I opened the door, I had already gotten my mind to recall the entire plan once again and run through it in my head. I was about to do it a second time when I was greeted by the sly silver-haired foxes.
"Well, it seems you have impeccable timing Lecia, either that or I would think that you were just standing behind the door waiting for my arrival."
Roane was with both of his uncles, and they were all dressed in equally sharp and expensive looking black suits. Glancing from his uncles to him I could imagine that this is what he would look like when he got to their age, but I didn't say anything aloud.
Instead, I walked past him and straight to the elevator. I knew that all four of the men behind me clearly heard what I whispered to him when I walked by.
"In your f*cking dreams d*ckhead!"