Chapter 215 - Nathan's Nightmare
Nathan Evenhart:
I woke up startled, clutching my mouth to keep myself from throwing up.
What was that? I thought, stumbling into the bathroom attached to my room. I shut the door behind me and activated the crystal, illuminating the light on the ceiling.
I… dreamed… I dreamed of that day…
I looked at my reflection in the mirror, noticing tears streaming down my face without realizing it.
"Helen…" I murmured, a name I hadn't spoken in ages. My chest tightened, heart pounding, as a deep sickness gripped me.
Unable to stay on my feet, I sank to the floor, hugging my knees as the memory of that terrible nightmare weighed on me. Her face, desperate and crying, looking at me—that image was carved into my mind.
I collapsed on the cold tiles, feeling like I couldn't breathe.
Why? Why am I dreaming of this now? Why did I have to relive the day that shattered my old life?
"Nathan!" a voice sounded from the other side of the door.
"Are you okay?" Cylla asked.
I tried to answer, but the memories surged again, crushing me. That day had changed everything for me and for Helen.
"NATHAN!" Cylla called again.
"I… I'm fine," I managed, sitting up on the floor. "Just… a bad dream."
I buried my face into my knees, choking back silent sobs.
"I'm sorry, Helen… It was my fault…" I whispered, wiping tears away with my hands.
I stayed there for a long time, my eyes closed, the image of Helen haunting my mind. The pain was so intense that I wished I could just erase it all. In the quiet of that bathroom, the only sound was the breathing from outside the door. Someone who cared for me, waiting, anxious for me to say something, to open the door… but I couldn't.
"Please… talk to me," Cylla's soft voice came from the other side.
Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to bury those memories and stood up. I opened the door and found Cylla standing there, her face wet with tears. She looked at me, unsure how to react seeing me like this.
"I'm fine," I repeated, throwing myself onto the bed. "It was just a bad dream."
Cylla jumped onto the bed and curled up beside me.
"You were shaking in your sleep… I got worried," she said, her voice still trembling.
I closed my eyes, trying to let those memories fade. It was too late for regrets. I had failed in my past life, but I couldn't fail in this one. There were still people here that I cared for more than anything.
"Sorry…" was all I could say to her.
I couldn't even begin to explain what had happened, nor did I want to remember it.
"It's okay… I have some bad dreams from my past life too," she said, lying down beside me.
"Do you?" I asked, surprised.
She nodded.
"In my dreams, I'm always alone in a cabin. There's no one there. I feel this enormous dread, an awful emptiness." She looked at me, her eyes reflecting a soft understanding. "But when I wake up and I'm next to you, it comforts me."
I didn't know what to say.
"Then, when you have bad dreams, remember that I'm here by your side too, my beloved," she whispered, as her soft paws gently brushed over my eyebrows.
I decided to accept her comfort, closing my eyes and surrendering myself to sleep—or at least trying to let it take me. What happened after that day… I didn't want it to happen again in this world. I couldn't bear to lose the people by my side once more.
I sank into the darkness of sleep, hoping it would bring me anything else but those memories with Helen.
***
A few days had passed since that terrible night, and I finally felt like Nathan Everhart again. That midnight ordeal had become a memory rather than a constant nightmare. Having Cylla by my side, knowing my secrets, was a comfort. She was someone who, even aware of the things I'd done in the past, still cared about me. Our friendship was unique; only the two of us knew each other's secrets. She had lived another life, just as I had, and in the end, we had become each other's emotional anchor.
The days were busy as the break drew closer, and soon, I'd return to the familiar comfort of my old room in the castle.
I think I miss having work to do… in the castle, there was always something to keep me occupied.
I took a short stroll through the city, a habit on days with no afternoon classes.
When I return from break, there will be that academy dungeon excursion. I'd heard there were many fascinating things to see down there, even ancient stone carvings and artifacts from ancient civilizations.
I could finally understand a little of Syvis's passion for archaeology.
"What are you doing over break?" asked Edmund, joining me.
When he'd seen me around the dormitory, he'd wanted to tag along. I didn't mind; in fact, his presence helped make me seem like a regular student, should that third assassin still be lying in wait somewhere. The idea was to appear as a common, easy target.
"I'll be staying in my duchy, taking advantage of the time off," I replied.
"Really? I thought you'd have some noble duty or meetings with academy folks. I've actually been closing some deals with noble families," he said as we walked.
I glanced at Edmund as he spoke. "You really do want to be a duke…" I teased.
"I want to impress my old man," he grinned. "And besides, I've already had a few marriage proposals."
Man... these young nobles don't waste time. He's fifteen, and he's already getting arranged marriage proposals? That's insane…
"You're already thinking about marriage?" I asked, genuinely surprised.
Edmund laughed. "It's just business. I'll have to weigh my options. But it's my second wife that I'm really aiming for. That's when I'll get to choose without any political strings attached."
"Second wife? You're crazy… one woman is complicated enough," I said, shaking my head.
We stopped at a little cafe and took a seat.
"My father insists my first wife be from an influential family. But after that, I'll have the freedom to choose anyone I want, even a commoner," he explained.
Now it made sense. He'd marry the first for politics, but the second would be his personal choice.
"Nobility really is complicated," I sighed.
"You're lucky your duchy isn't as fixated on it, being in the countryside. The closer you are to the Royal Capital, the more political it gets. We have an image to uphold since we're near the royalty. Marriage arrangements are a headache. We live surrounded by other nobles, and we're expected to network with the families closer to the capital. Even the jewelry we wear matters—if we don't wear enough, people think we're weak," he elaborated.
Luckily, my duchy is mostly agricultural and far from the capital...
We chatted a while longer as we waited for our orders.
"What about your mother? Doesn't it bother her that your father has other wives?"
"My mother is the second wife," he replied. "My father loved her, but he had to marry my stepmother first."
That surprised me a bit.
"And does he love your stepmother?"
"Of course, my father loves her—and his other three wives—all the same."
What? His father has four wives? For a moment, I felt sorry for him, but now it seems his father might've taken advantage of the situation.
"I wish you luck, my friend. Handling just one woman can be complicated enough—imagine two..." I said, glancing to the side and spotting the goddess Athena seated nearby, while a gray cat on the street kept a steady watch on me.
"I'll let my father choose my first wife from among the marriage proposals, but I've already got my eye on someone for a second."
"And if your father picks someone unattractive? You'd be out of luck."
Edmund chuckled. "My father has four wives, all of them beautiful. The old man has good taste," he said, laughing.
I sipped my tea, listening as he told stories about how his father met each of his wives.
"The girl I have in mind is someone you know, and I'll need your help."
"Someone I know?"
Edmund leaned closer, whispering, "Kinue."
"Oh! I see." I glanced at him, picturing Kinue.
He has good taste; Kinue really is beautiful. If I had to choose someone to marry, she'd be one of my options. Actually, I realized I'm surrounded by beautiful girls… even that lunatic Thyra is attractive.
"Do you mind if I go for her? I know you two grew up together. When I found out, I thought maybe your family owned her, but later I heard she's just a commoner working for you."
"Owned her? I hope you don't mean what I think..." I replied, feeling a bit wary.
Edmund shifted in his seat. "Don't get the wrong idea, but demi-humans are treated as slaves in some places. Not in my duchy, of course, but if your family owned her, I would've bought her just to free her. That's why I checked beforehand."
Hearing that reassured me.
"Just so you know, Kinue is someone I care about deeply. She's a good person, and..." I stopped, realizing what was happening. "You wanted my blessing, didn't you?"
"Of course! You're my friend. I just wanted to know if you'd be okay with me courting her."
At least the guy has some honor…
"If Kinue wants to be with someone, there's nothing I can do to stop her. That's all I can say."
He scratched his head, looking puzzled. "So… was that a blessing?"
"Not at all," I said, laughing. "But you're free to try; I won't stop you."
He looked even more confused.
"Do you like her?"
"I don't really feel that way about anyone. Lately, I've been thinking I don't want to marry at all."
He looked at me, surprised. "Why not?"
Because, in another life, my fiancée was killed…
"Because…"
Before I could come up with an excuse, someone approached us.
"Just a boys' meeting?" Alice and Syvis stepped up.
Saved by the bell...