Chapter 55 - The Secret of the High Elves
Chloe Evenhart:
Kinue was lying asleep on my bed. We had become close friends, and she always came to play with me in the afternoon during our free time. I looked at the fox girl and covered her up because of the cold.
"This girl is so clumsy," I said, tucking the blanket around her and adjusting the pillow.
I sat on the bed and watched my friend for a moment.
I guess she's never had anyone to do this for her.
I closed my eyes and tried to meditate to improve the flow of mana through my body, but certain conversations kept coming to mind.
Nate and she have gotten really close...
They always talked and Nate made a point of showing her some of the areas around the castle. He told me it was because she grew up without ever having anyone to play with, and I felt a bit guilty for being... jealous?
Why am I jealous? It's all that idiot's fault.
He invited us to play, and we even had an element battle. I had the advantage of soaking them with water while Kinue threw light balls at us. Nate tried using wind, but he was too slow and always got hit.
It's actually nice to have more friends.
Kinue told me she doesn't have a family, and I tried to put myself in her shoes. She spent some time alone, and even though she has her teacher now... she still doesn't have a family like I do.
It must be hard to grow up like that. Is that what Nate meant when he talked about not having anyone in the world? He always told me to appreciate what I had. I think I understand better now. Those five years may have been tough being locked away, but at least I had my mother with me.
"Did I... fall asleep?" a sleepy Kinue woke up, blushing with embarrassment.
"Sorry..." she said.
"It's fine, Kinue. You can sleep as long as you want, I understand your situation. I'm doing really well, and there's no need for you to keep helping me meditate."
"Thank you, Chloe. I've really enjoyed spending time with you and Nathan."
"Just stay friends, okay…" I said.
"What do you mean?"
"N-nothing... I didn't mean anything."
Nathan Evenhart:
My teacher was sitting in an armchair, reading. She had a lot of books stored in her wrist storage bracelet. I once asked her to show me, and I discovered she basically carried a library on her wrist. She even had a box with other storage bracelets full of books she liked to read.
"Hehe," I glanced over and saw her stifling a laugh while reading her book.
Must be a funny story.
I was trying to do the pure mana exercise, but with the lightning element. I wanted to somehow hold it in my hand. I couldn't accept the fact that I'd never be able to wield a spear made of lightning.
Elemental weapons usually only have a single use since they break... I don't need a weapon for constant support, but having a spear I can throw in an emergency would be useful.
I paused, thinking.
Who am I kidding? I just want my beloved spear back.
"What are you reading, Adrihna?" I asked. "You're smiling, and that's a bit unusual..."
She seemed to realize and quickly hid her smile.
"I'm reading a romance novel," she replied.
"Really?" I asked, surprised.
The high elf nodded. "I have books of all kinds, and this week, I picked up this one. I'd never given romance novels a chance before, but now I find them quite interesting. I think it's so amusing how the protagonist is such a pathetic mess with his feelings and can't admit what he truly feels."
That hit a bit too close to home... Is this some kind of joke from fate?
"I don't think even if fate conspired against you, you'd figure it out, Icarus. You'd have better luck trying to catch lightning with your bare hands," Athena said, sitting lazily in a chair.
I ignored the goddess's sudden appearance.
"Do you elves really never go through this kind of thing? Not even when you find an ideal partner in that system of yours?" I asked.
The teacher closed her book. "Are you talking about the difficulty of confessing you like someone even when you do? We don't go through that. In fact, I find it a bit bizarre. You humans have the ability to fall in love and yet struggle to express it to the person you care about. It's ironic that we high elves have difficulty falling in love, but we don't hesitate to talk about these things when trying to form a marriage partnership," she explained.
If you were on this side, you'd understand... It's not easy. Wait... why am I even worried about this kind of thing?
"Does your race never fall in love with their partner? Not even after marriage?" I asked.
Adrihna thought for a moment. "Never," she replied.
"And how does marriage work then?"
"Even though we high elves can't fall in love, that doesn't mean we don't care about the feelings of our partner. We always strive to make the marriage perfect, within our understanding. We are loyal, supportive, and friendly. That's how our species forms relationships. While we can't fall in love with the person we marry, it doesn't mean we don't fully dedicate ourselves to the well-being of the family we create."
My mind was trying to process that information, imagining a family where there's no love.
I'd been part of a family like that once... but they abandoned me...
"Can I share a secret with you, Nathan?" she asked, sitting next to me.
"Sure... Is it a tip on how to catch lightning with my hand?"
The high elf shook her head. "I've already told you that's not possible. The secret I'm going to share is about my race. You are the product of something very valuable, and I thought I'd share this with you."
I nodded, listening closely.
"The truth is, even though we can't fall in love, high elves have been trying to understand that emotion for a long time. They want to comprehend what love is. Even I was intrigued when I learned that a high elf awakened to love and fell in love with a human, which led to your existence and your mother's," she said.
"What do you mean by trying to understand? Do you want to fall in love?" I asked, curious.
She adjusted herself in the chair, as if searching for the right words to explain.
"I'm not just talking about falling in love—I'm talking about everything. We try to fit in with other people, but we have our emotional barriers. We have existential conflicts and are constantly trying to understand how things work. A high elf lives a long time, and if they're lucky enough to finally come close to breaking that emotional barrier… the person they were friends with is already gone. I've had many students over my 180 years, and now they're old, and some don't even remember me anymore… but I remember all of them. I remember every child I taught at your age, every smile they had when they discovered their magic, and every effort they made to shape it into its elemental form. Time passes, and they no longer remember me… they grow up, live their lives, get old, and die. There are those I taught and became friends with, but I always chose to distance myself. Even though we have difficulty feeling emotions… that doesn't mean we're immune to them. Every student I lost took a part of me with them… even your father and your uncle. I saw them running through these halls, but now… they're all gone, and in the end, I'm always left alone. This is the dilemma every high elf has to face. Maybe that's why we isolate ourselves within our own kind, because the pain of losing something you love… is too much for us to bear."