Chereads / Eternal Simp: Adventures in awkwardness / Chapter 8 - Chapter 8: Dating in the Zombie Apocalypse

Chapter 8 - Chapter 8: Dating in the Zombie Apocalypse

Jason Blumbley felt the all-too-familiar pull of the vortex as it yanked him away from his superhero sidekick life. With a flash of light and a swirl of sound, he landed face-first in something soft and squishy. He groaned, pushing himself up and wiping mud—or was it something worse?—off his face. As he looked around, Jason realized he was in a grimy, decaying city. The buildings were in ruins, and the streets were littered with debris and overgrown with weeds. It didn't take long for him to notice the shambling figures in the distance: zombies.

"Of course. Zombies," Jason muttered, dusting himself off. He was dressed in tattered clothes, and his pockets were filled with random survival gear. "What next, mutant cockroaches?"

As he wandered through the desolate streets, Jason heard a faint cry for help. His heart skipped a beat as he followed the sound, hoping to find another living person. He rounded a corner and saw a woman struggling against a small horde of zombies. She had short, messy hair and was wielding a baseball bat with surprising skill.

"Hang on!" Jason shouted, grabbing a rusty pipe from the ground and rushing to her aid.

He swung the pipe wildly, managing to hit a zombie square in the head. Unfortunately, the impact jarred the pipe out of his hands, sending it clattering across the pavement. Jason gulped as the remaining zombies turned their attention to him.

"Uh, maybe I didn't think this through," he muttered, backing away slowly.

The woman's eyes widened as she saw Jason's predicament. "Over here, you idiots!" she yelled, swinging her bat with renewed vigor. She quickly dispatched the last of the zombies and ran over to Jason, who was still cowering in fear.

"You okay?" she asked, offering him a hand.

Jason nodded, his heart still racing. "Yeah, thanks. I'm Jason."

"Sarah," she replied, giving him a once-over. "You don't look like you belong here."

Jason laughed nervously. "You have no idea."

Sarah sighed and shook her head. "Come on, let's get out of here before more of them show up."

They made their way through the city, Sarah leading the way with her baseball bat at the ready. Jason tried to keep up, but his natural clumsiness made it difficult. He tripped over debris, bumped into walls, and nearly fell into an open manhole.

"You're not exactly stealthy, are you?" Sarah said, raising an eyebrow.

Jason shrugged. "I've had better days."

As they reached a makeshift safehouse, Sarah explained the situation. "This used to be a bustling city before the outbreak. Now it's just a wasteland filled with zombies and a few survivors trying to get by."

Jason nodded, taking it all in. "Sounds like a nightmare."

"It is," Sarah agreed. "But we make do. Speaking of which, we need to find food and supplies. You up for a little scavenging?"

Jason gulped, but nodded. "Sure, I'll help."

They ventured into a nearby grocery store, the shelves mostly bare and the air filled with a musty smell. As they searched for supplies, Jason tried to make conversation.

"So, Sarah, do you have any, uh, tips for surviving the apocalypse?"

Sarah chuckled. "Yeah, don't be an idiot and watch your back. And maybe try to be a little quieter."

Jason winced. "Right, quieter. Got it."

As they rummaged through the store, Jason spotted a pack of Twinkies and couldn't resist grabbing it. "Hey, look! Twinkies!"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Seriously? We're in the middle of an apocalypse and you're excited about Twinkies?"

Jason grinned sheepishly. "They're a comfort food."

Before Sarah could respond, the sound of shuffling feet and low moans echoed through the store. "Great, more zombies," she muttered, gripping her bat tightly. "Stay close, Jason."

Jason's heart raced as they tried to sneak past the zombies. He could feel his palms sweating and his knees trembling. Just as they were about to reach the exit, he stepped on a squeaky toy, the loud noise drawing the zombies' attention.

"Really, Jason?" Sarah hissed, swinging her bat as the zombies closed in.

"Sorry!" Jason yelped, grabbing a nearby can of beans and hurling it at a zombie's head. It hit with a satisfying thud, but only seemed to make the creature angrier.

"Let's just get out of here!" Sarah shouted, pushing Jason towards the exit.

They burst through the doors and ran down the street, the zombies hot on their heels. Jason's lungs burned as he struggled to keep up with Sarah. They ducked into an alley and scrambled up a fire escape, finally reaching the roof of a building where they could catch their breath.

Sarah leaned against the railing, panting. "That was too close."

Jason nodded, his hands on his knees as he tried to regain his composure. "Yeah, sorry about that."

Sarah sighed, but a small smile tugged at her lips. "You're lucky you're not dead."

Jason chuckled weakly. "I seem to have a knack for surviving."

They made their way back to the safehouse, where Sarah introduced Jason to the other survivors—a motley crew of people from all walks of life who had banded together to make it through the apocalypse. Jason quickly became the group's mascot, his clumsiness and awkwardness providing much-needed comic relief.

As the days passed, Jason found himself growing closer to Sarah. Despite the constant danger, he couldn't help but feel a spark of hope whenever she was around. One evening, as they sat around a campfire, Jason decided to make his move.

"Sarah, I just wanted to say, you're really amazing," he began, his heart pounding.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Oh? How so?"

"You're brave, strong, and you always know what to do," Jason said, his voice trembling slightly. "I—I really admire you."

Sarah chuckled, her eyes twinkling in the firelight. "Thanks, Jason. I appreciate that."

Jason took a deep breath, trying to muster the courage to say more. "I, uh, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to, you know, go on a date sometime? After the apocalypse, I mean."

Sarah laughed, the sound warm and genuine. "A date? Really?"

Jason nodded, feeling his face flush. "Yeah, I mean, if we survive this, I'd like to get to know you better."

Sarah's smile softened. "You're sweet, Jason. Let's focus on surviving for now, and we'll see what happens."

Jason grinned, feeling a surge of hope. "Deal."

The next morning, they set out on another scavenging mission, this time to an old shopping mall. As they searched for supplies, Jason couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu. He had seen countless zombie movies where survivors got trapped in malls, and he hoped this wouldn't end the same way.

They were in the food court when the inevitable happened—a horde of zombies burst through the doors, their moans filling the air. Jason's heart raced as he and Sarah tried to find a way out.

"Up there!" Sarah shouted, pointing to an escalator. They sprinted towards it, but Jason's clumsiness struck again—he tripped over a discarded tray and went sprawling.

"Jason, get up!" Sarah yelled, swinging her bat at the approaching zombies.

"I'm trying!" Jason gasped, scrambling to his feet.

They reached the escalator and ran up the steps, but the zombies were relentless. As they reached the second floor, Jason spotted a sporting goods store and had a sudden idea.

"Follow me!" he shouted, grabbing Sarah's hand and pulling her into the store. They barricaded the door with golf clubs and tennis rackets, buying themselves a few precious moments.

"What now?" Sarah panted, looking around.

Jason grabbed a crossbow from the display and handed it to her. "Ever used one of these?"

Sarah's eyes lit up. "I think I can manage."

As the zombies broke through the barricade, Sarah fired the crossbow with deadly accuracy, taking down one zombie after another. Jason grabbed a baseball bat and joined the fight, his swings wild but effective.

Just when it seemed like they might be overwhelmed, the sound of engines filled the air. Jason looked out the window and saw a convoy of trucks approaching, filled with heavily armed survivors.

"Reinforcements!" he shouted, feeling a surge of hope.

The trucks pulled up to the mall, and the survivors poured out, taking down the zombies with military precision. Jason and Sarah rushed outside to join them, relief washing over them as the last of the zombies were defeated.

As the dust settled, the leader of the convoy approached them—a grizzled man with a stern expression. "You two alright?"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah, thanks to you."

The man grunted. "We're headed to a safer location. You're welcome to join us."

Jason and Sarah exchanged a look. "What do you think?" Jason asked.

Sarah smiled. "I think it's worth a shot."