Moros looked at the crowd and was met without a resounding disinterest, they all acted like he did not even exist. They all just kept muttering about weird situations that did not make any sense to outsiders.
"Onee-Chan please do not squeeze that goblin-chan with your thick thighs…Nooo, I wish that was me…" uttered a young drug addict, a bit too in love with the concept of death.
Could someone explain to Moros what the streamer was doing in her stream to have her audience react like that?
Or what about this specimen?
"Oh my reincarnated Loli demon Lord is such a tsundere. Yes, my lord I shall grovel at your feet and lick your little toes clean…this lowly servant shall give his life and HIS WALLET FOR HIS QUEEN."
Moros wondered if he had taken a wrong turn and landed in Cazy Town, filled with all sorts of weirdos.
"What even was a tsundere and why was everyone so obsessed with feet?"
Moros' thoughts were confused beyond words at the things he heard these people speak in all earnesty. He saw it in the glimmer of their eyes, this what was not a joke.
Every single word spoken, no matter how absurd it may sound to a normal person, such as Moros, was delivered in absolute seriousness. These people meant it!!
"Help Step-Mom, I am stuck in this tentacle monster…and I can not move. I need some big, strong Mommy hands to free me. Help me Muscle Mommy, help me!"
That man was hugging the air tightly, as if could replace the missing Mom in his life. Maybe she had been right in abandoning him when he was 3 years old. There seemed to be a lot of issues with this particular man.
Judging by the sounds that escaped his lips during the tight, fictional embrace Moros was quite concerned what exactly he was envisioning in his mind.
It was like all these men were living in their own little worlds, in love with whatever was before them. Just that this love was weird to any outsider that was not involved in the scene.
"I am a good boy. I am a good boy. I am a good boy."
"If I spend enough she will be my GF? Wait Darling, I shall gift you all I own. She is worth it."
"I have been a baaad boy, please mistress do not use your big whip to punish me. That would be so, so, so bad. Please, I will do anything…not the whip…that would be so painful...please, spare me Master!"
Moros learned many things the more he listened to the army of bachelors, though he started to wonder if he wanted to learn more about this.
Most of the things he heard was not things that would work if he did it. Therefore, it was useless to know more about them other that they exist.
With school drawing nearer, he lacked the proper time to learn about all the different strategies employed by the women.
"Oh, no this helpless maiden got lost half-naked in a blizzard. Brothers, we must come together to donate 10000 monster cores, so that she will get a warm coat!"
"Can we get an F in the chat for these poor clothes holding on for dear life?"
"Listen, babe, when you said, 'Thanks, chat,' I know you meant, 'Thanks, my future husband.' It's okay, I can keep this a secret until you're ready to tell the world."
Yeah, Moros shook his head again…he had lost any idea of what was going on in their brain. These people had officially left Crazy Town and migrated to Super Crazy town.
These people had left their mortal souls wandering to spheres he could not see, their bodies were left as empty shells.
Everything was just so weird and out of place, what had these woman done to their psyche?
"I know that you are taken, but is your Mom single?"
"Of course, you say HIS name…what does he have that I lack? Don't worry I understand, you do it just for the money. I can feel the difference when you say mine, It must be Love!"
"Is that a boy in the background? I swear I saw someone. Is that your boyfriend? Are you cheating on me? Oh, he is your brother! Haha, that was just a joke, I clearly knew that."
At this point, Moros just listened in silence, his brain refusing to acknowledge the madness that entered his ears with every sentence.
Everything entered his ears and left him questioning what had become our the drug addicts he had known for so many years. He had just given up on trying to understand their views, these people were a lost cause.
But, in Moros there rose a certain feeling, he knew he was closer to the truth than ever, soon he would find the thing that tied it all together, he would find a strategy that he, a man, could make money with.
"Did you know that your laughing can heal any injuries? I just so happen to be terminally wounded…"
"I have seen you for a few minutes, but I know we are meant together. We shall have a family of 2 kids, one son and one daughter. Our kids will be absolute beauties…." said the man clearly having been hit by the ugly stick more than a few times.
"We will live in a house, far in the woods with only the four of us living our days free of worry"...he continued his very realistic dreams about a possible future between his streamer and himself.
An endeavour as likely to succeed as the odds of a middle-aged man in his fifties with a big belly ever seeing his penis again when looking down.
Moros did not want to burst his bubble, he was more interested in the level of mental gymnastics that turned an otherwise logical being into a love-drunk fool, high on copious amounts of female attention.
"I swore loyalty to another God before you, but after seeing you I have finally seen the light. There is only one true Goddess worth praying to, that is you! I shall pray daily to you, may you bless me with your good will."
"Did you know that I am some sort of a clairvoyant? I can judge how long someone is going to live by seeing their feet. I can read your fate too, if you want me to."
"Have you heard about the new dam they are building? Cuz I want dam titties in my face."
The last one was a man to Moros liking, unlike his brethren he stormed right ahead into battle and made his desires clear!
"Tis I SirSimpsALot…I have come to tell thine lady that this lowly self is in need of 2 big cheeks of the buttocks to smother him.. Please, dearest Lady…do place thine gigantic rear end on this humble bards' face."
Moros pretended that he had never heard the last line. The world was a much better place without anyone thinking the words had ever been spoken.
He knew that he had to go to school soon, but hearing these people talk was like a catastrophe he could not avert his eyes from. It was as creative as it was proof of humans being just plain weird.
Had the guy been trying to flirt or was the dude trying to poke fun at the other people? He just could not tell what was real and what was fake anymore.
The lines had become too blurry as honest words met the honest emotions displayed in the pants of the single bachelors.
"Oh, I love how the new Velcrom high-heels made from fine thunder-sheep leather, with a touch of the Ouroboros snake scales as a touch, absolutely crushes these slimes. You too can be a successful streamer with babies like these…"
"M'lady I have returned from my work in the mines…I have sold my wife and my kids…the mine has claimed their souls. May you live a long and prosperous life…for the mines, they call my name."
One of them was crazier than the last, leaving the man in debt wondering if he had poisoned and ruined their future by introducing them to Kinder.
On a second thought, there had not been much to lose to begin with. It was hard to claim there being a future for these kinds of people, especially one people would actually deem something worthwhile.
Moros had just reduced their odds of such an unlikely event occurring from 0.0000001 % to never in a million years. Which he was not very sorry about.
He was doing the world a favour, by not letting these people approach any women.
"I wish I would be there…" it was this one simply message that hit Moros like the random guy wanted to be hit by his favourite streamer's large, supersized melons.
This was the market niche he had been looking for…the man should want to be wherever he is…
That was it!!!!
Moros looked at the clock, now he was slightly less happy. He was late for picking up Malissa again. He felt a pain tucking at his balls, he needed to hurry.
So, it was that Moros ran again as fast as his legs allowed him to. A certain body part thanked him, since its survival was on the line. But, in the faintest corner of his brain, the dream of being a streamer had become a reality.
It was only a matter of when and how…until Kinder would shower him with money.
Soon, it would not be a dream, any longer!