Poppycock looked at Moros with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. He liked to see the boy, who usually did not care about a single thing in life with a look of annoyance on his face.
Moments like these needed to be savoured, they did not come often in life.
"Well, me and my boys crashed here for a while, after our last hideout was raided by the people screaming all about laws and shit, while illegally using criminals to farm goblins."
Moros looked at him with great annoyance, he wanted to learn what is wrong with the dungeon, not the backstory as to why the dwarf had created a new hideout here.
The dwarf smoked his cigarette without any worry and began to speak up once more after taking 2 deep breaths.
"Got most of my stash, lots of my guys too. Whole situation was not pretty. Papers called it the biggest bust on Elysium in the last decade. All in all, we were pretty screwed."
Moros could certainly understand the pain behind the commercial loss behind all these wares and he did show consideration for the tough situation he was put in, but that did not change the fact that he did not ask about his sob story.
If he wanted to know about how his favourite illegal dealer was doing, he simply could have asked his wife, who was now hidden somewhere nowhere.
Of course, chit-chat and small talk were all fine…if one did not have the family breathing down your neck about their lack of income or the debt that brought him closer to death with each breath taken.
To say that Moros had a bit of stress was a pretty understatement.
Of course, the talkative Poppycock did not know about Moros' pressing concerns. Though he clearly should see his twitching lips and his fingers forming into a fist yet again.
Signs the dwarf clearly missed as he was thinking about the past week and how hard his life had been.
"Ya know, I had to hide me wife, me kids, me hoecake. All of them hide in a location, not even I know. Once everythings in the clear, they will come to me…until then, I am all alone with da homies!"
Moros anger reached a critical point, causing him to think of many not so nice things he was about to do, but stopped himself because he still was a nice person…for now.
"Your choice in friends…is really something Poppy! From addicts, to fatsos, to mental lunatics. You really gathered them all, the uglies, the stupids, the freaks. It really takes a lot to be one of your buddies."
The compliment laced in the most biting of irony and sarcasm hit the dwarf with full force. Alas, it went over Poppycock's head for he was currently as smart as he was tall, since he hadn't slept in a few days.
"What a supreme taste you have there."
Moros, once again tried to hit the dwarf where its hurt. Once again the dwarf dodged by design of his brain structure, not understanding Moros intent behind his message.
"Thanks, my friend. But yeah…me and my buddies came here, broke the seal and explored the dungeon a bit. Three romes as ye told me, some useless Balla monsters here and there…nothing outta the ordinary."
He took a short pause.
"… that was until the third day, when suddenly the door popped out. An inspector also came in to clear the dungeon for usage…Boi, was that day confusing as he came in to find it already open."
A wicked grin followed…
"But nothing we can't solve with a little bit convincing attitude and make-up."
A faint, muffled call for help escaped the ends of Poppycocks new home. It did not take a smart brain to realise just where the inspector ended up. Poppy gave Moros a wink.
Loose lips sink loose ships, as they do say in the underground of Elysium.
The poor lad just had the bad luck of doing the right thing and the very wrong time. Too bad, now he likely had been replaced by an addict and would never be seen again.
"Don't ye worry; we keep our little plant here well watered and fed."
The little flower was screaming in the back, but promptly silenced at the press of a button. The buzzing of an electric current echoed from the back, turning the noisy captive into a silent one.
"We want our little sunflower here to tell of all the little beautiful secret it has. We can't exactly have it spout some bullshit seeds outside, that would not be cool…"
The voice from the back of the room yelled some stuff again.
If one could understand him, he would likely yap about never doing something like that and how he would promise such a thing on his wife's life and whatnot.
Only to sing like a little bird the moment he thinks himself safe.
Moros and Poppycock had learned this the hard way. You could only trust people as far as ye can throw them…and if you can throw them that far, ye might as well not be throwing them.
The man had not learned his lesson just yet and another zap of electricity forced him into silence.
"As I have been saying, things were wild. But get this, we send them big guys to explore the new door. Turns out them little useless things now joined together, like some sort of real life action figure in green."
Moros looked at his best dealer with questioning eyes, what the hell was he trying to say there. Why did he compare Ballas to action figures? Had bro sniffed too much glue recently?
"So, let me get this straight. The Ballas worked together and turned into a goblin…?"
It sounded even more stupid to Moros the moment he asked that question.
"No cap man. The monsters did not turn into a goblin. The ballas turned into a pile of Ballas that looked like a goblin."
Of course that made so much more sense to Moros. The Ballas that looked like a goblin were just Ballas in a goblin costume. Like that was totally normal…the hell was happening in this place.
"Anyhow, some random Joe and his mother came in saw us, saw the goblin and all hell broke loose. One message on the forums about it and literally everybody wanted to see it."
Poppycock threw away his cigarette and leaned back at the desk of his small hideout.
The light of the room was sparse, as parts of everything lay around in a messy fashion. There was a bed visible in the distance, some spare parts, some weapons and some other tools, whose purpose was unknown to Moros.
"We simply let 'em come in and wanted to cash in, while the whole thing was still hot, ya know."
"I can see that," replied Moros, thinking back at the lady that could not keep quiet or the rest of the crowd waiting in line to see some Ballas doing performance art or whatever one would want to call it.
"But, tell me more about the door, is there something else inside there…or just one goblin-Balla or whatever its name is?"
Moros needed all the info he could get, any change in the dungeon would have to be reported to his parents. He needed to strike the iron while it was hot…time was money, after all.
"Them things are called Gobbla. No idea why everything in this god-damn dungeon has such an awful naming sense, but whatever. There are several rooms that follow, the monsters be getting really creative…"
Moros interest had been caught, finally something that he could turn into money.
"We have gobblas that have a dagger, others have a bow, some ropes and other tools. There is a gobbla riding atop a ballof, a wolf made out of Ballas."
Balla, Balla, Balla, Balla here and Ballas there─somehow this was the only term that bounced around in the guardian of the Terra dungeon. All these new names were already testing Moros patience and it was the first time he had heard them.
Ballof, gobbla and whatever stupid names would follow. The Gods, old or new, seriously needed to work on giving these things better names.
"In the last room, the boss room, there is that special Ballof…this thing, it always comes back together, it can't be killed people dubbed it THE BALLOF BOSS BASTARD."
The BBB sounded oddly familiar to the whole concept of goblin champion that Moros had come to experience a while back.
He knew firsthand just how frustrating that thing was and just how much it had taken to die. The news that the Terra dungeon delivered the same kind of monstrosity based on Ballas were not exactly making him the happiest man on Earth.
"So tell me about it, are they strong?"
Poppycock heard that question and could not help, and crack a slight smile at the stupid question itself.
"Ya know Ballas better than I do, have them things ever been useful? It takes one poke and ya got guts all over ye face─they be looking like me wife after I exploded over her…"
Moros did not want that information, nor did he want that image to live rent-free in his mind for the next month.
He was talking about how this water bottle broke and covered her in water…right, right?
"I see, but why was it so popular then? These fighting magicians would not waste their time on things that neither give xp nor monster cores?"
"That's where you are wrong, kiddo. The xp is the same, the core size is the same…its practically free money and free kills for them."
…Moros looked dumbfounded…what the hell has happened to this dungeon while he was gone?
And another thought crossed his mind: How would he make the most money out of it…
He needed time to think!