Chapter 17: Tangled Thoughts
Ji Li, her mind adrift, resolutely pushed her thoughts aside and engaged in a process of mental fortification.
"Perhaps this new arrangement isn't so bad after all," she reasoned, seeking a positive perspective.
"At most, I'll simply extend my kindness towards him, even further than before."
With a ruler in hand, she casually measured something, only to realize with a start that Xi Che had somehow grown taller than her.
Just over twenty days ago, they had been the same height.
A smile tugged at her lips. "Ah, the wonders of adolescence," she thought. "You eat a lot, and you grow like a weed."
Their visit to her father concluded, the two personal maids returned, their presence a welcome sight.
One Event Follows Another
Ji Li cleared her throat and listened intently as things unfolded one after another.
Yun Yi approached her, holding out a small, crumpled piece of black paper. "Miss, this is from our palace informant."
It was hardly a note, more like a scrap of paper with nothing but blank space.
Ji Li carefully poured a small cup of clear sake onto the paper. After a moment, the faded ink began to slowly reappear.
She studied the message for a while. "It seems the Crown Prince was also involved in the assassination attempt at the imperial palace."
Last night, she had wondered how the Concubine could have orchestrated such a seamless operation without even Grand Tutor Lin's knowledge. After all, the Concubine's influence alone was not enough.
And now, days had passed with no news whatsoever.
This new information made sense.
With the combined power of the Eastern Palace and the Concubine's schemes, it was indeed feasible.
"But..." she couldn't shake off a feeling that something was amiss.
Not with the outcome, but with... the beneficiaries.
Her eyelashes fluttered, casting fleeting shadows on her cheeks. She picked up a pen and carefully copied the information from the note onto another sheet of paper.
The original note was then tossed into the brazier, the flames quickly devouring it.
She turned her attention back to the object Yun Er had brought, her fingers absentmindedly tracing its contours.
Perhaps there was a different way she could approach this situation.
"Another letter from him?" Ji Li's voice was devoid of emotion as she tore open the envelope.
Xie Yun Cheng had written a lengthy letter, filled with flowery words that subtly revealed a great deal of information.
Ji Li lowered her gaze and read the letter once more, carefully scanning each line.
She cross-referenced the information with the details she had gathered, hoping to decipher more.
Despicable as he was, he could still be used to her advantage.
The hatred from her previous life was so intense that she had no qualms about shifting her mindset in an instant.
There was no need to feel guilty or remorseful about exploiting her enemy.
While she couldn't understand why Xie Yun Cheng's actions were so different from her previous life, his ultimate goal remained the same:
To seek the assistance of the General's Mansion, or perhaps, to lure her to the capital.
Ji Li once again tossed the letter into the fire and closed her eyes.
The faint crackling sound was amplified in the quiet room.
Alas, she would never impulsively plead with her father to help Xie Yun Cheng, not in this lifetime.
Nor would she ever travel to the capital for such a reason.
The borderlands were her home.
The people she loves and wants to protect are all here.
*
A bustling courtyard filled with the cheerful chirping of birds.
Song Ying, a woman of grace and poise, had returned home after a lengthy absence, her heart brimming with anticipation and affection. Her beloved husband, Ji Yunshan, greeted her with open arms, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of joy and relief.
Ji Yunshan's heart swelled with pride as he gazed upon his wife, her beauty seemingly enhanced by the passage of time.
"You've lost weight," he remarked, his voice laced with concern, his eyes tracing every contour of her face as if to memorize every detail. "You must have endured much in your travels."
Song Ying's heart melted at her husband's words. "It was nothing," she replied, her voice laced with tenderness. She reached out and gently caressed his hand, reassuring him of her well-being. "Besides, being home amidst our loved ones erases any trace of weariness."
Noticing the hint of reproach in her husband's eyes, she playfully raised an eyebrow. "What's this? Have you missed me so much in just two months that it feels like two years?"
Ji Yunshan chuckled, his shoulders slumping in mock defeat. "As the saying goes, 'A day without seeing you is like three autumns,'" he quipped, his voice laced with affection. "And two months is certainly no short time."
Their conversation flowed effortlessly, their words intertwined with years of shared memories and unspoken understanding. Ji Yunshan recounted the events that had transpired in his wife's absence, his voice animated with a hint of playful grumbling.
"You wouldn't believe it," he began, his eyes twinkling with mischief, "Lili brought home a young man last month. He was half her age, I tell you!"
Song Ying, already privy to this information, chuckled softly. "Oh, is that so?" she inquired, feigning surprise. "And who might this young man be?"
Ji Yunshan, eager to share his tale of woe, launched into a detailed description of the young man, emphasizing his polite demeanor and respectful nature. "He's an orphan raised by the monks of Ronghua Temple," he explained, his voice laced with a hint of paternal approval. "Seems like a decent boy, I suppose."
But his satisfaction was quickly replaced by a renewed sense of grievance. "But you have no idea, my dear!" he exclaimed, his voice tinged with mock exasperation. "Our daughter seems to favor him more than her own father!"
The door creaked open, and a woman's voice echoed from outside, "You're accusing me again!"
Ji Li stepped in, gracefully bowing to the two figures in the room, "Greetings, Father, Mother."
In an instant, she naturally leaned towards Song Ying, pouting, "Mother has returned but didn't come to see me, leaving me waiting for so long." Then, her gaze shifted, speculating, "Could it be that Father stopped you?"
"How petty." She rarely displayed such a girlish demeanor these days, which made her father glare at her, even more displeased.
Fortunately, Xu Zexu entered next to greet them, easing the tension.
Ji Yunshan then reverted to his usual demeanor before outsiders, waving his hand, "Come here, both of you, and see which one you like?" He explained, "These are all treasures that Ah Ying has acquired during her travels."
Having heard his wife's words earlier, he immediately became a spokesperson, "This ink is produced in Lingshan, worth a thousand gold coins. It's perfect for practicing calligraphy and painting."
Ji Li originally wanted to speak up and ask for it on behalf of Xi Che, but she glanced over and noticed her cousin's serious expression, clearly indicating his interest.
She remained silent, waiting for a gift to be assigned.
Ji Li watched her mother's retreating figure disappear into the bustling courtyard, a familiar scene that had played out countless times before. The air was thick with the sounds of everyday life, but Ji Li was lost in her own thoughts, her mind replaying the events of the past.
As her mother's voice faded, Ji Li mechanically retrieved two objects from a nearby table and tucked them away. Her movements were practiced, a shield against the storm of emotions that threatened to engulf her.
She forced a smile as she engaged in a lengthy conversation with her mother, her words carefully chosen to mask the turmoil within. Each sentence was a desperate attempt to prolong the precious moments, to delay the inevitable parting.
Finally, the time came for her to step out of the warmth of the courtyard into the biting winter air. The frigid wind hit her like a shockwave, sending shivers down her spine.
Yun Yi, her loyal servant, watched with concern as Ji Li's composure crumbled. He rushed to her side, his voice laced with worry, "Miss, are you okay?"
Ji Li clung to his arm, seeking solace in his presence. She took a few deep breaths, trying to steady herself, her gaze darting around the courtyard. Thankfully, the thick cloak she wore concealed her trembling form, and the servants around them were too engrossed in their tasks to notice her distress.
The memory of her mother's passing in her previous life still haunted her. The image of her once vibrant, loving mother, now frail and broken, was a constant reminder of the tragedy that had befallen her family.
Despite exchanging letters filled with reassuring words, the reality of their separation gnawed at her. The written words lacked the warmth of her mother's embrace, the comforting touch of her hand.
The icy wind whipped around her, a stark contrast to the warmth of the courtyard she had just left. It was in this very season, under the unforgiving grip of winter, that her entire family, over a hundred souls, had been mercilessly slaughtered.
Her pleas for mercy had fallen on deaf ears, her desperate attempts to save her loved ones proving futile. The memory of her mother's gentle spirit, once radiant with life, now dimmed by the harsh realities of prison, fueled a burning fire of resentment within her.
How could she not harbor such intense hatred, when her world had been shattered, her family torn apart, and her mother's life extinguished?
A torrent of resentment surged through Ji Li's veins, directed at Xie Yuncheng, the cold-hearted royal family, and every indifferent onlooker in the grand hall that fateful day.
Initially, she had sought to remain hidden, her own power too insignificant to make a difference.
Yet, by a cruel twist of fate, she had ended up saving Xi Che.
She had no desire to delve into the intricacies of their past relationship. Nor could she uncover those details.
As long as their powers remained evenly matched, their inevitable conflict would serve her purpose.
Her thoughts drifted, the strain of her earlier suppression evident in the faint bloodstains marking her palms.
As she continued her journey, a growing chill enveloped her.
Concerned, Yun Yi studied Ji Li's expression, "Miss?" she inquired, tightening the cloak around her.
Over a month ago, upon her awakening, Ji Li had exhibited similar behavior, prompting Yun Yi's heightened alertness. Her grip on Ji Li's arm intensified.
Ji Li composed her demeanor, her voice softening, "It's nothing, just a fleeting thought."
Yun Yi remained unconvinced, yet she nodded with a smile, her presence becoming even more steadfast by Ji Li's side.
Ji Li's mind was buzzing with a nagging sense of unease, like a mosquito buzzing around her head that she couldn't quite swat away. She tried to pinpoint the source of her anxiety, but it was like trying to catch a wisp of smoke.
The walk back to Nanyuan with her maid was a silent one, mirroring the turmoil within her.
Stepping back into the familiar comfort of her home, Ji Li felt a wave of relief wash over her, a welcome respite from the unsettling feeling that had been plaguing her.
But rest wasn't on her agenda. Instead, she headed straight to her study, determined to make sense of the jumble of information she had gathered.
Her emotions had settled down a bit, replaced by a steely determination to achieve her goal. She might not have been born with a silver spoon in her mouth, but fate had given her a second chance, and she wasn't about to waste it.
Pen in hand, she filled page after page with her thoughts and plans, her resolve growing stronger with each word she wrote.
She knew that overthinking wasn't going to get her anywhere. The only way to change things was to take action, no matter how small.
With a sense of finality, she tucked her written musings into a little wooden box.
...
As the sun still hung high in the sky, well before the hour of the rooster, Xi Che returned from his work. Changing into fresh attire, he promptly made his way towards Xu Ze Xu's residence.
A fleeting frown creased his brow, a shadow of the previous day's praise from Ji Li lingering in his mind.
An unfamiliar emotion stirred within him, casting a cloud of discontent over his usually composed dark eyes.
He was vaguely aware of the source of this turmoil, but he chose to ignore it.
Arriving at the doorstep, he gently knocked, his voice echoing with a hint of formality, "Cousin, are you home?"
The door swung open, revealing a man startled by the unfamiliar address.
The man's face, pale as freshly fallen snow, bore a hint of sickly pallor.
In contrast, Xi Che, after a month of recuperation, had regained a healthy glow to his complexion.
As they stood facing each other, despite the man's taller stature, an inexplicable aura of defeat emanated from him.
With a warm smile, he ushered the young man inside.
A tranquil silence enveloped the room, bathed in the soft glow of the afternoon sun. Mottled light and shadow danced upon the table and chairs.
Clad in a robe of vibrant vermilion, the man, dressed in casual attire, poured a cup of tea for Xi Che and placed it before him, "Snow Top Silver Needle, to ward off the chill." Under the shimmering sunlight, even his fingertips seemed to radiate an ethereal glow.
It was a radiance that mirrored the sickly pallor of his face.
Xi Che accepted the tea, his movements unhurried and deliberate, gently swirling the tea leaves in the cup.
The aroma of tea wafted through the air, mingling with the steam, casting a veil of mystery over his refined features.
Adorned in a deep-colored straight gown, he exuded an air of aloofness that seemed out of place in this warm and inviting setting.
Xu Ze Xu also took a sip of his tea, the warmth soothing his insides, bringing a hint of color back to his cheeks. He spoke, his voice laced with a hint of formality, "We've met before, so I'll spare the introductions." He handed Xi Che a book and a pen, "I'm unsure of your current level of education, so take a look at these materials and let me know if they're familiar to you."
Xi Che's gaze was instantly captivated. It wasn't a book, but a writing brush.
The brush's soft hairs slid across his palm, and the subtle markings on its handle were enough to send a jolt of recognition through him. He could almost be certain of it—this was an imperial vermilion brush, a coveted artifact from the Bei Di palace.
The brush's presence was an enigma, an unexpected puzzle piece that seemed to defy explanation.
Xi Che's mind raced, trying to decipher the brush's origin and its connection to the current situation. How had it found its way here, into this remote village, so far from the opulence of the Bei Di court?