"Congratulations Ms. Celo for being a top game designer as well as an exceptional animator." Trevor congratulates me and I really feel great about it. It was just a dream and I didn't see this one coming. I did my best and I received my reward.
I know that I deserve this.
I'm very lucky to have this opportunity despite my breakdown a year ago, I honestly didn't see this coming, so I'm beyond grateful. For the people who didn't give up on me and inspired me to do my best every day, I owe them my well-being. They're part of my healing and my journey towards success.
"Has he come back already? Maybe he had already found a woman to be the half of his heart in Spain." Damn! That thought kills me.
"Thank you so much boss Trevor!" I wink and give him my rare killer smile, he often says.
It's not that I'm trying to look special, but Trevor and I have been close to each other since I worked here 8 months ago. He was my wall from storms, my safe place. Yes, it sounds unprofessional and a little weird, but that's what is going on with my life.
He did pursue me, but I told him frankly that I had no feelings for him and that the special treatment I showed towards him was just for a friend and he, Trevor, being a professional man, accepted that though he still loved me. I can't afford to break that man's heart or the friendship we had.
Well, like he is far from love and he is a mature man. I find hearing that word very childish, but in a way, someone thought that they're kind of the same or maybe both are just so confusing, but what really is the difference between like and love?
Everything went busy after a simple celebration for my promotion and here I am now, dating Pixie, my computer.
"Harris? Can you please check the stats and stability for Rexos? Tell Annie too to check first the feedback of users about the new launch, warcraft 3, thanks bro." I sweetly commanded.
"Sure pretty, anyway don't forget about your promise." He reminded me once again.
It's about the portrait. I drew Trevor for his birthday present and he saw it. I can't even say no to that sweet guy. Maybe I'll start doing it at the condo later.
Message from Trevor:
Sweetheart, I want you to go with me! I had a meeting at Cydel_XW. They thought about partnership.
To Trevor:
Bro! I'm not your PA, remember?
I joked and laughed alone.
If anyone sees me here, surely they will think that I'm insane.
Trevor: Please, I need you there.
" I'm doing my job here, boss. Don't disturb me!" I replied while rolling my eyes.
"I'm the boss! You should follow me or else…"
"… else what?" I like teasing him, I could picture out his reaction right now.
"I'll marry you!"
"Laugh out loud!"
"Just kidding."
"I know!"
"Game?"
"Can I say no to you? Insert crying Lorence boss."
"But you rejected me. Anyway, you did make my day."
"You're so gay! You, pursuing me isn't a job and I can't create sun! Your day ends here.
Laugh or else I'll throw you to Mars. Be the handsome alien there."
"Just kidding! Still, I'll stay here on earth since you're here."
"Stop bluffing. Okay, just visit our department later. Byeeeee!"
After that, I turned off my phone and faced the digital pad to start making the new character of Sword Commander.
After that cool morning work hours, Trevor was there to eat lunch with me. That's not new to me though. That's also the reason why some of my co-workers envy me.
They said so.
We ate at a cool restaurant, our usual place for lunch, since it's the nearest but also luxurious restaurant in the company.
While eating we talked about new things we did today and discussed more about the company as well as about the proposal for Texno tomorrow.
Gosh! I agree, since Raze isn't in the Philippines right now. That's called good luck.
I heard that Frazier Margenson manages the company while the real boss isn't there and that's a relief.
Later that day I woke up earlier than an ordinary day without knowing the reason. I'm disturbed and partially lost.
I can wear anything today, so I choose to wear the simplest but elegant dress in my closet.
Trevor dropped by at the house around 7:00 am since the meeting at the Texno with the owner would be around 8:00 am.
I suddenly wanted to eat rice since I only ate pancakes and had some hot chocolate for breakfast.
"Good morning sir," the lady guard greeted him like I wasn't around, unfair!
"Mr. Dench!" A beautiful girl welcomed us and after a gesture of greetings she led the way to the CEO's office.
It's still on the 23rd floor.
"Señorito, here's Mr. Dench from Xgames with her…" she stated, talking to the man who was sitting in his swiveling chair facing backward.
He's watching at the view from the edge of the glass wall, but that view is beautifully terrifying.
"¡Buenos días, señorito" Heck! Is that Spanish?
"Good morning, Mr. Margen-- ah?" I swallowed nervously after the man turned his swiveling chair in front.
My heart's thumping really hard like it's stopping me from breathing. What in the world is happening? Even my eyes couldn't believe it, like the world betrayed me by making me come here.
"Raze?" I was shocked and almost panicked.
"Shit!" I released an incantation to free the pounding matter inside me.
"Como estas? Lorence?" Raze stated while his right eyebrow arched. That irritates me.
How are you?
"M-me?" I heard my name. What did he just say?
"Se conocen entre sí?" Trevor responded, while I'm there. I was confused because I couldn't understand them.
"Si ella era mi amante," Raze answered while his look was pierced at me. What?
I saw how Trevor made a smile and looked at me too.
Heck! I hate it. It's like I'm being sautéed.
"Please take a seat, both of you!" The boss commanded while I'm here, dying inside.
I still love him! Why? It's been a freaking year, right?
(se conocen entre sí? Mean, you know each other?
Si Ella era mi amante means Yes! She was my lover.)
"Have a seat, Mr. Dench, and Ms. Celo," Raze said, his gaze shifting from Trivor to me. There was a hint of questioning in his eyes, similar to Trivor's.
"She's Ms. Celo," Trivor introduced me, sensing my unease.
Raze's demeanor was intimidating, and I couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness wash over me. He was right in front of me, yet he seemed distant, as if he didn't recognize me at all. It hurt to see him like this. In the past, I could have changed his serious expression to a joyful one with ease, but now... his eyes were empty, devoid of recognition. It stung, knowing that I had hoped for him to react with anger, but instead, he seemed indifferent.
"Celo," I replied, mustering up a bit of confidence to mask my underlying sadness.
Despite all the time that had passed, it seemed like my heart hadn't moved on at all. Seeing him now, standing there with his commanding presence, my heartbeat quickened, as if it were still singing his name.
Why did I feel like crying? Why did I suddenly have the urge to embrace him, to apologize, to tell him that I still loved him and missed him so much? It was frustrating.
"Mr. Dench, are you sure she's the best from your company?" Raze's question dripped with sarcasm, hitting me harder than I expected.
"Yeah! One of today's most famous games was her project!" Trivor exclaimed proudly. I never expected to hear that. Now, I'm terrified. What if Raze checks the game and isn't satisfied? What if he criticizes me and labels me a bad game developer?
Damn it! Where's my confidence now? I feel like my life is a game, and seeing him means game over. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to win against him. I gave it my all years ago, but I still end up losing.
Do men always win? I guess.
"I see," he said, reacting with a look that seemed to anticipate my thoughts.
We're here to propose a collaboration with Texno. Partnering with the number one developer in the world is a great opportunity. We need their ideas, upgraded equipment, strategic insights, and the chance to observe their methods.
Meanwhile, my heart is pounding as if I've had 20 cups of coffee in one go. I didn't expect him to still affect me this severely. I feel like I'm dying, and I'm about to faint.
"What's wrong, Ms. Celo? You look pale!" I glanced away, trying to escape Raze's piercing gaze. If I didn't, I knew I'd run out of breath.
"N-nothing, Sir. May I excuse myself?"
"Sure! Comfort yourself!" Raze responded. Is he joking? Raze is crazy!
"Go ahead, sweetheart, don't hold it in!" Trivor added, laughing. I just twitched my lips before spinning around and hurrying out.
"Crazy!" I retorted before squinting at Raze. Is he gritting his teeth? His expression certainly suggests it.
"Venise, please accompany our guest to the nearest restroom," Raze instructed. Venise stood and bowed slightly, as if saying, "Yes, señorito!" I walked out of the room with Venise following closely behind. I couldn't help but wonder where Tyron was at a time like this.
"Where's the restroom?" I asked, not wanting to stew in silence with something clearly bothering me.
"It's on the 22nd floor. Are you his... uh..." Venise hesitated, clearly alluding to Raze and me.
"I was," I answered, surprised at how saying the word 'was' could further break an already broken heart. Double kill.
"I see, I saw you on the news!" Venise replied, but I chose not to respond. I didn't want to hear the details because I knew it would only make my feelings worse.
Venise led the way, and we arrived at the restroom on the next lower floor. Afterward, I told her I could find my own way back. She nodded politely and returned to where we came from, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I'm not here to pee or anything; I'm standing in front of the wide mirror in the restroom. I thought I came here to calm myself, but instead, I'm having a quick breakdown. I never expected to see him here. Why today of all days? I thought he wasn't around because there haven't been any new updates about him. Why now? And why am I crying again?
Didn't I already move on? Then why does it still hurt so much, like every memory can stab me at my weakest point... seeing him earlier was like a painful nightmare. I hate how I don't have control over this.
I wiped my tears and took deep breaths repeatedly. I had to leave or they'd think something was wrong with me. I applied some powder and lip tint before stepping out, composing myself once more, trying to suppress the pain that was tearing me apart inside.
The building had changed a bit, likely due to a new interior design. I couldn't help but wonder why Raze had returned to Cazila. Ugh! I'm torturing myself, why can't I get him out of my mind? Absent-mindedly, I stepped into the elevator with four others.
"Cath?" I heard someone say. I turned to look and saw Ranz standing beside me. I hadn't even noticed he was there.
"Ranz? Oh my gosh! How are you?" I asked, feeling a sudden lift in my mood.
"Still a huge fan of anime. I didn't recognize you right away, you look great!" He said with a smile, and I gave him a quick hug.
"I missed you. How are the girls?" I inquired.
"They're doing well. Liza got married a few months ago, and we've had a new team member join us since you left, keeping us on our toes," Ranz replied.
"I'm sorry, it's just that something didn't feel right," I replied, my thoughts momentarily distracted. Though I wasn't particularly close to Liza, I felt genuinely happy for her. Fate hadn't been unkind to her, at least.
Ranz headed towards the superior's office, and we parted ways. I arrived at Raze's office where they were already deep in discussion.
"We can start working on it soon, but I want it done here at Texno. Send your most competent employees here, including you! Let's see what you've got!" Raze's tone was intimidating as they both signed the contract. Meanwhile, I found myself checking the time repeatedly, eager to leave his office.
"Sign here!" Raze commanded sharply.
"Huh?"
"I don't want to repeat myself!" His tone was stern, and I felt a pang of distress. I just wanted to understand what this was about. Why did he have to be so harsh?
I signed the document, my mind racing with unanswered questions.
"Thanks, Mr. Coleman. It's our pleasure working with you!" Trivor said gratefully as they shook hands.
"Let's go!" Raze urged abruptly, prompting me to quickly stand and move away with Trivor.
"Ms. Celo!"
"S-sir?"
"You left your phone!" Raze pointed out, indicating the phone was left on the single seater. I hurried back to retrieve it, feeling flustered at my forgetfulness.
Being too eager to leave was definitely not a good move.
I returned to retrieve my phone while Trivor waited. As I picked it up, Raze's cold remark stung. "How could you leave something important?" His words hit me hard, and I could feel his disapproval.
He stood with his hands in his pockets, and without a word, I turned and walked ahead. My heart was pounding with a mix of emotions.
"I didn't know you could cherish a gift," he almost whispered. I didn't quite catch his words until I saw my reflection in the glass wall. I realized I was wearing one of my favorite dresses, a gift from him. I hadn't thrown away my memories of him, I hadn't even tried.
Not knowing what to say, I glanced at him for a moment, then looked away and continued heading out. The weight of his words lingered in my mind as I walked away.
"Cath? Are you listening?" Trivor repeated, bringing me back from my thoughts.
"Huh?"
"I said tomorrow you'll go directly to Texno with two others."
"O-okay," I replied, unsure of what else to say. I wasn't ready to face him again.
"I think I'll choose Andrie and Drex to work with you," Trivor added.
"And I think that's better!" I replied with a sense of relief. Knowing I'd be working with Andrie and Drex, my friends, made me feel more comfortable. After finishing my tasks at Xgames, I left early and went straight home. That evening, I cried myself to sleep; my tears seemed to understand my exhaustion and let me rest.
I woke to the sound of my alarm clock, as usual, at 6:00 am. Texno was a bit of a commute from my new home, which I had bought 10 months ago. Living on my own had been a decision I made, though my family often visited since it was also their vacation house.
I planned the design of my house with the help of my best friend, Ronier. Fortunately, the subdivision offered a great deal: there were ready-built houses in rows on one side, and on the other, spacious lots for those who wanted to design their own homes. It was a bit pricey, but very satisfying.
I moved in just three months ago, right after the construction was completed and I finished designing the interior, and settling in the appliances and furniture.
I wore a pink ruffled spaghetti strap top tucked into my skirt, paired with a coat and black stilettos for a formal look. Remembering I needed to drive, I switched to flip flops and packed my heels into a paper bag.
Skipping breakfast, I decided to stop at a restaurant. It was my favorite place where I often had breakfast, especially on lazy mornings. I headed to my usual spot, but it was already occupied, and the person sitting there shocked me.
It was Raze, and he was dining with someone. Who was she? His girlfriend? Fiancée? Wife? A rush of unexpected jealousy surged within me. Darn it! I didn't realize I still knew how to feel like this.
Initially planning to turn away unnoticed, our eyes met just as I was about to find a new seat. It awakened butterflies in my stomach. Damn it! It had been so long since I last felt this way. It felt strange now.
I took a table far away from them and quickly placed my order.
"Here's your order, ma'am!"
"Thanks! Huh? I didn't order Omo rice and Gordon bleu!" I complained, though secretly I liked both dishes.
"That's already paid for, ma'am!" the waiter explained with a smile.
I glanced in Raze's direction. Could it be possible that he ordered these dishes knowing they were among my favorites? Hmm, maybe I'm just overthinking it.
"Um, thanks," I said to the waiter as he left. I poured myself a coffee, my usual first step before enjoying a meal.
I played some music and plugged in my earphones, trying to focus solely on eating and feeling comfortable despite Raze being nearby. After finishing, I asked for the bill and paid quickly. I wanted to leave before our paths crossed again so soon.
I hurried outside, but suddenly—
"Ouch! Watch where you're going!" a girl shouted, causing a small commotion.
"Sorry, ma'am!" I apologized again, looking at the girl who was still with Raze.
"Sorry!" I repeated, flustered, and quickly opened my car door. I panicked a bit as I started the engine, taking a moment to calm myself before driving away.
Switching my earphones to earbuds, I called Drex and placed my phone on the holder.
"Hey! Good morning, pretty!"
"Hi handsome, where are you now?" I asked, my eyes on the road ahead.
"I'm on my way to Texno. Andrie's already there, waiting for us," Drex replied.
"I see. I'm on my way too. See you soon. Bye for now, handsome!" I said with a smile, feeling a bit lighter.
"Bye, take care!" Drex responded warmly.
"Thanks!" I replied before ending the call.
I focused on driving until I arrived at Texno.
I messaged Andrie, "Which floor are you on? Good morning!"
To Drex, I wrote, "I have arrived."
Feeling nervous, I sense a loss of direction.
Andrie messaged back, "I'm on floor 18. There are many beautiful ladies here."
I chuckled as I read his message.
To Andrie, "I'll head there now. See you in a bit."
Entering the elevator, I wasn't prepared to bump into Raze and his companion. What an unexpectedly crazy and inexplicable day. Darn it!
Just as I was about to step back, he insisted that I join them. I had no choice but to comply, though being with both of them inside felt suffocating. Whew~
I plugged in my earbuds again. I couldn't bear to hear their sweetness. Despite knowing I had no right, I couldn't stop feeling the pain and jealousy. Damn it!
Complicated heart is now playing♪♪♪♪♪
Don't know what to say now
Don't know where to start
I don't know how to handle
A complicated heart
Damn it! What's wrong with my music? I thought it would help me escape from hearing their sweet conversation, but it's only hurting me. Ugh! I've been so sensitive since yesterday.
The elevator doors opened on floor 18, and I quickly stepped out, finally able to breathe normally again.
"Excuse me, where's the powder room?" I asked the lady in the nearest cubicle, feeling the need to compose myself.
"Just go straight, ma'am, and turn right when you reach near the hanging plant in the corner," the lady explained with a smile. I hurried inside and ended up crying because of my irrational thoughts and seeing Raze. Why did I agree to work here? I should have convinced Trivor not to.
Damn it! I tried to compose myself and asked Andrie where our room was. As soon as I received his response, I headed straight there. Unfortunately, the boss was already inside, discussing things.
"For the latecomers, I want to set a target date for the project's completion and collaboration," Raze announced, appearing seemingly out of nowhere like a ghost.
"He always shows up unexpectedly!" I thought to myself.
"Good morning, everyone, sir," I greeted nervously, quickly finding a seat beside Andrie to ease my discomfort. Drex was already present, seemingly arriving in record time, maybe he had teleportation abilities. Lol!
Where's that girl? I've been bothered by her presence until now. I'm still not ready to face Raze, I had just hoped I could handle it.
I was assigned to plan the characters with Earl, focusing on their strengths and powers. I think that's better than working on something that would bring me into direct contact with the boss.
I grabbed a sketch pad provided by the company and began drawing, focusing on the details of the characters. Today, my goal was to finish sketching three or more characters and then leave if I could. I felt suffocated staying here any longer, his presence made it hard to breathe.
After completing a sketch, I needed it checked so I could proceed to create digital art and animations of their movements.
"Who is assigned to check the sketches?" I asked quietly.
"Are you really done sketching?" Earl whispered, and I simply nodded in response.
"It's me!" Raze's voice startled me from behind. How could I muster the confidence to face him? How could I regain my composure?
"O-okay! Here, sir," I managed to say, handing over the sketch pad without meeting his gaze, my heart pounding uncontrollably.
"Follow me," he commanded sternly. I followed him to his swiveling chair where he sat down and crossed his legs.
"Hmm, I want you to change the costume of this character, their name, and their armor. Bring it back here later for the final judgment," he instructed. I nodded silently and quickly turned to leave.
"Are you mute?" Raze's question caught me off guard. I turned to look at him, curious and a bit taken aback.
"No," I replied firmly.
"Then why aren't you responding?" he pressed.
"I don't think it's necessary, sir. I already responded, just not verbally," I said calmly, trying to maintain composure. How dare he criticize one of my best characters? Tsk!
"Excuse me," I added, feeling the tension in the silence that followed his critique.
As per his request, I made the changes he wanted and then presented the revised sketch to him.
"Okay, great!" Raze approved.
"Thanks, sir!" I replied gratefully, returning to my table to start working on the digital art. I played music again to help me focus on my work and divert my attention from thoughts of Raze's handsome image.
Suddenly, I heard a finger snap in front of me, prompting me to lower the volume of the music.
"What is it, sir?" I asked nervously, feeling intimidated by Raze's imposing presence.
"Are you listening?" Raze's question startled me.
"Y-yes, sir!" I replied, though I wasn't entirely focused on his words.
"What did I say then?" he quizzed further.
"Are you listening?" I repeated his question back to him, unintentionally causing everyone in the room to burst into laughter, as if it were the funniest joke they had ever heard.
"Tsk! Never mind! Everyone, you can take a break now and have snacks at LitDinner," Raze announced, prompting cheers from everyone in the room.
Despite the invitation, I didn't have time to take a break. I needed to leave early.
"Cath, let's go?" Andrie approached me with Drex.
"I'm fine, I have cheesecake here," I replied.
"Are you sure? What would you like? I'll bring you something," Andrie insisted.
"I don't have anything particular in mind. Hmm, fries!" I said with a smile.
"Sure, then wait here, beautiful!" Drex replied.
"Thanks, handsome!" I chuckled as Drex patted my head, and Andrie smiled warmly as they left together. I felt grateful to have friends like them.
I finished my first character and continued working. Ten minutes later, Raze and his girlfriend returned. She was laughing behind him, and despite myself, I squinted and sneered. They looked good together.
I lowered the volume of my music, curious about their conversation.
"Raze, do you remember that fan who unexpectedly bumped into you when we were in Spain?"
"Yeah," Raze replied.
"Hahaha! I still remember her expression, saying 'Omu-Omu-Omu! You're ICEcore! Kyaahhh! I'm Keana! I am 17 years old. Your number 1 fan,'' she laughed. It sounded ridiculous to me, not funny at all.
I turned up the volume of my music to drown out their conversation, but when I looked up, I caught Raze's eyes. Quickly, I looked away as if nothing had happened and focused intently on my digital pad, pretending to be very busy.
I finished my second character before the boys returned.
"Here!" Drex handed me a cup of iced coffee, fries, and chicken sticks.
"Uwoo~ thanks, handsome. It's my favorite!" I exclaimed happily, accepting the food.
"That's not from me! I just waited for that!" Drex clarified with a chuckle.
"Huh? Then where did this come from?" I asked, already enjoying a bite of fries.
"From the boss," Drex whispered.
"Eh? I can't accept this!" I whispered back, glancing secretly at Raze, who was busy typing on his laptop.
"There's a note, just read it!" Drex insisted, and we exchanged whispered words like we were both being secretive. It felt odd, right?
"O-okay," I agreed hesitantly.
"Back to work!" Andrie chuckled and settled back into his seat like Drex. They both wore knowing smiles, as if they shared a secret they weren't letting me in on. Hayss!
'Have snacks if you don't want me to cancel the collaboration.' It was written in Raze's beautiful penmanship on the note.
Raze, why are you doing this? You're starting to break down the walls around my heart again. Those walls have kept me strong, preventing me from doing reckless things like crying in front of you while apologizing, seeking your attention, or trying to win you back. But I can't... I broke us, and I don't have the right to beg. You're happy with her now. She doesn't even want to stay away from you, Raze.
I finished my work for the day, and thankfully, Raze approved my artwork.
"Andrie, Drex! I'm heading out now," I announced.
"Huh? Sir Trivor will be here later for you!" Andrie replied.
"Who said that?" I asked.
"He did!" Drex chimed in.
"Ah, it's okay. I'm not feeling well today, so I'm going home already. Bye!" I said as I walked away.
Unfortunately, I have to pass beside Raze's table.
"I'm going home now, sir," I said, swallowing my pride.
"'kay," his voice sounded cold.
I continued walking, but then I heard him say, "Eat a lot at lunch, drink your medicine, and rest." Was that directed at me? He wasn't looking at me when I glanced back. Could he have overheard our conversation?
Hurrying home, I found the roads clear of traffic. My heart tightened with a pain I hadn't felt in a year. Why did our paths cross again? I couldn't see any good reason, except maybe to remind me of the stupidity of my actions a year ago.
I threw myself onto the bed and hugged the teddy bear he had given me before.
"Baby Raze, I saw your dad today. I couldn't help stealing a glance, and now I regret it. He's happy with her, with someone new," I murmured to the stuffed toy I had named Baby Raze. My tears wouldn't stop flowing silently as I held tight to the memories of Raze. Why couldn't I move on? Others might say it's just been a few months, but why couldn't I move on easily? They didn't understand that the memories we had built felt like a lifetime. This feeling is unbearable.
"Huh? Then where did this come from?"
"From the boss."
'Have snacks if you don't want me to cancel the collaboration.'
"Eat a lot at lunch, drink your medicine, and rest."
Those words echoed in my mind, stirring up the reason behind my tears.
Why is Raze giving me false hope? It hurts so much. What if I talk to Trivor about replacing me with someone new? Ugh! As if I could convince him.
Krrrnggggg~
Without you, I feel broke
Like I'm half of a whole
Without you, I've got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I'm just a sad song.
Since I left him, sad song music has become my favorite. They still touch my heart and, as always, remind me of him.
Calvin was calling me.
"Hi Ron, what's up?" I answered.
"Yow! Cathy, where are you?"
"I'm at home, why?"
"Can we meet? I'm here at Cazila because I have a new project. Would you mind having lunch together?"
"Wow, sure! I'm excited. Where?"
"I know you are. You get to choose where!" He chuckled.
"Really? Hmm, let's meet at Raquen Restaurant then. It's my favorite."
"Okay, I know that one. See you, bye!" He hung up the call.
I quickly changed and moments later, I spotted him parking his car near the restaurant, which was conveniently close to our subdivision, so I arrived before him.
"Mr. Suarez, hi!" I greeted him with a big smile that matched his.
"Let's go, Mrs. Suarez!" He laughed, and I joined in, linking my arm with his as if we were in an escort position.
We enjoyed steak and grapes wine, a familiar pairing that reminded me of home.
"When did you arrive here?" I asked as I cut into my steak.
"Yesterday!"
"Hmm, where did you stay? You know you're always welcome at my house!"
"I know, but I'm staying with my friend, remember Josh? We're partners on this project, and I might be here for a while."
"I see, so that means we'll be seeing more of each other?"
"I guess we will!"
"Sir, this way please!" I heard the waiter. Damn! Why did I look back? Our eyes met, and he seemed puzzled. Maybe he overheard earlier that I wasn't feeling well, yet here I am. Why do I care about his opinion? He's with his girlfriend again. Ugh! Why do we always end up at the same famous restaurants?
"Cathy? What's wrong?" Ron asked.
"Uh, nothing," I forced a smile.
Damn! The waiter seated them at a table across from ours. This sucks.
Luckily, Ron didn't notice Raze because if he had, he might tease me about it.
"I'm done!" I announced, setting down my napkin.
Ron squared away the bill, paying with his card. Clearly, he's doing well for himself now. Throughout the meal, I avoided looking in Raze's direction. It felt awkward, though maybe it was just me feeling that way. Sigh!
"Here's your card, sir. Thank you!" the waiter said before we left, discussing his project site.
The next day, I opted to cook at home, unwilling to risk bumping into Raze early in the morning again. I sighed, still not feeling ready to face the new day. Seeing Raze with someone else still hurts too much.
"Good morning sweetheart, Andrie told me you're doing well and great as always since you finished early. See you later." Trevor's text greeted me as I sighed. They had no idea I was trying to avoid someone.
Ugh! It looked like it might rain today. The weather forecast mentioned low pressure, and the clouds were already thickening with mist.
I dressed in a gray hoodie and matching jogger pants, paired with my Nike Air shoes. Simple yet classy.
Driving was comfortable this morning, with no rush hour traffic to contend with. I arrived a little early today.
I arrived 30 minutes early and unexpectedly found Raze alone in our working space. I hesitated for a moment before greeting him. "G-good morning, sir!" I managed to say, feeling a mix of awkwardness and nostalgia.
"Please drop your formality," he said in his usual monotone voice. Hearing him made me realize how much I missed him.
"I-I can't, sir," I answered sadly, unsure if he could hear the tremor in my voice. I stiffened as he approached, hands in his pockets, and I felt myself melting under his gaze. I couldn't bring myself to look directly at him, fearing I might break down in tears.
"Raze, please stop," I whispered, hoping he would understand the turmoil he was causing me.
"I'm your boss, can't you just follow my lead?" His voice held a hint of pleading that caught me off guard.
"You're my boss, and you shouldn't be this close to me," I replied, my voice barely steady as I kept my gaze averted.
"I mi-" he was cut off.
"Raze!" The door suddenly swung open, revealing the girl who had been clinging to him yesterday. She was here again, quite obviously.
"Hi!" Raze responded, spinning around to give her a quick hug. I took that as my cue to step toward my cubicle, acting as though I hadn't noticed their interaction. So, he allowed her to call him by name? I had thought that privilege was reserved for me alone, except for his dad, of course.
"Sir, excuse me," I called out, trying to regain his attention. Why were they so close to each other? This was a workplace, not a place for cuddling. If they wanted to be that intimate, they should find somewhere else. Tsk! I wasn't jealous, I swore!
"Yes? Any concerns?" he replied calmly.
"Can I bring my work home?" I asked honestly. I couldn't focus here anymore.
"Why? Is something bothering you?" he inquired further.
"No," I quickly denied.
"Then you can't," he replied firmly.
"Okay," I muttered, feeling frustrated. Aish!
I remained calm once my coworkers arrived, focusing on my work with my earbuds in to block out any unnecessary distractions. All the while, I could hear Raze and his lady chatting happily, almost embracing each other.
I stayed silent throughout, opting to skip the snack break at 9 am and continue with my tasks. But when the boys returned, they brought something for me again.
"A cup of coffee and potato chips, my favorites," I thanked Drex.
"That's from the boss." Andrie chimed in.
"He must have brought it for his woman."
"That's for you, there's a note," Drex said before returning to his cubicle.
I unfolded the note and read, "Chump, smile!" It was a nickname only he used for me.
I glanced over at him secretly. How could I smile when he was happy with someone else now? Tsk! Smiling would only taste bitter.
Rolling my eyes, I reluctantly accepted the snacks. Despite my discomfort, I appreciated that he still remembered me as his hardworking employee.
Trevor arrived around lunchtime, and we all ate together, the two boys and our boss. Afterward, we got back to work, and Trevor left for a meeting. Whew! Looks like he was trying to make a quick getaway.
I managed to finish my character design around 3 PM, which gave me a good reason to leave. I felt like enjoying myself tonight, perhaps going wild and crazy with a strong drink.
When I arrived home, I decided to bike around the subdivision, finding it quite relaxing. After 40 minutes, I got sweaty, so I rested a bit, cooled down, and took a warm bath.
I changed into a crop top, high-waist shorts, and sneakers, ready for a night of bar hopping.
"I've been dancing with the crowd, drinking, and moving on to another bar.
By the fifth bar, I was feeling tipsy, that familiar sensation urging me to have more shots. Everything seemed to slow down, and the crowd became wilder.
My phone rang! I didn't know who was calling, but I answered it.
"Yo!" I greeted.
"Where are you?" came the voice on the other end.
"Huh?"
"Where are you?"
"I can't hear you!"
"WHERE. THE. HELL. ARE YOU?" Raze? Ah? I'm drunk and hallucinating? I'm not high, right? I'm not on drugs!
"Cheers!" I blurt out and take another shot.
"Whooo!" I dance again, ignoring the call. I can't even manage to swipe my screen to end the call. Gush!
"Miss, care to dance?"
"I c-cann danceeee alloonee. Jiji!" What am I saying? I'm not crazy or anything, right?
I feel like vomiting now.
I stumble, my steps zigzagging even though I try to walk straight. My eyes are half-open, but somehow, I manage to reach the restroom in time to vomit without making a mess. At least I still have some control.
"Whooo~ let's dance!" I yell, dancing while weaving in a zigzag pattern.
"Miss, what's your name?"
"Haaii, I'm Lowrhencee. I'm ghaayyy! Can I call you Phapha?" He walks away. Why? Hahaha.
"Mr. Bartender, give me another mix. The strongest and tastiest shot!"
"Miss, you're already drunk!"
"Just give me *hiccups* more!"
"O-okay!"
"Yes! *Hiccups* ghood boyyy!" I slurred, pointing at him with a wobbly finger and giving a wink.
"Here, this is called 'the taste of heaven'," he said, sliding the shot glass in front of me.
"Hmm, looks satisfying and sounds grea..at!" I hiccuped again. Why? Aish!
I grab it and...
"Bottoms up for meeeee, yeey!" I cheered to the air, letting the shot glass touch my trembling lips.
"Hmm, this is a kind of *hiccups* mystery, the ingredients stay unknown. Wow! Amazing! Another one, please! Pretty! Pretty please! Another shot for my broken heart. Whoo! Party party!"
"Who broke your heart?" Someone sat beside me.
"Hahahaha, it's the most hand *hiccups* some man on the planet. Raze! Whooo~ I'm sorry! I'm happy for you!"
"You're happy for him? Why are you crying? What for?"
"You! YOU LOOK LIKE HIM. He doesn't have a twin *hiccups* you're an impostor! Go away!" He laughed and patted my head.
"I'm not a *hiccups* dog! Bastard!"
"But you look like one!"
"One more *hiccups* Mr. Bartender, please, for this man who called me a dog to go away!"
"I didn't say it, you just gave me the idea."
"Why are you laughing? Ha? Ha? *Hiccups*"
"I just didn't know you learned to drink, Chump!" He responded and licked his lips. Chump? Calling me Chump? He's not Raze! He's an impostor.
"Are you tricking me? You called me Chump. *Hiccups* Waaaaahhhhh! Go away!"
"What if I'm Raze? What are you going to do?"
"Raze? Hahahaha! You're an impostor, aren't you? If you're Raze, then you're not supposed to be here." I started sobbing.
"Why?"
"B-because he is with his woman! That beautiful clingy woman!"
"Why are you crying?" He asked again.
"I'm not crying! That's my sweat! My eyes were tired, so they're sweaty." I wiped my tears, looked around, and every man I saw looked like Raze. When will I get over him?
"Let's go home," he said, holding my hand, but my feelings flashed back to the happy moments with Raze.
"I can go home aloneeee *hiccups*," I slurred.
"You can't. You can't even stand straight."
"You don't careeeee!" I spat, but I couldn't resist him.
He paid my bill and helped me walk. My arm was around his waist, and he did the same.
"Who are you?" I slurred, unable to see him clearly.
"I'm your protector starting today!"
"Like an angel sent from above *hiccups*," I mumbled.
"I am!"
"You know what *hiccups* I'm in love with someone I can't have anymore!"
"Then why are you laughing?"
"Haha, because he's happy and I have to? I'm a coward, I didn't fight for him!"
"You're crazy!"
"Angels don't say *hiccups* bad words! That's a demerit on your record!"
"I'm not scared, you're really crazy! How can you cry and laugh at the same time?"
"Because it hurts! I love Raze so much! Waaaahhhhhhh~ I'm really losing it."
"He still loves you!"
"H-he doesn't. I saw him... with someone else. Ohh~ that's my car. My baby thunder! Yehhey!" I ran and hugged Thunder.
"Baby! Did you miss me?"
"Your car has a name?"
"Thunder, say hi to my angel. Angel, this is my boy! Haha! Thunder. Yey! Baby Thunder!"
"You look like a kid!"
"Yes! I'm still young, so you can call me baby! Yewhoooo~"
"Baby!"
"Whahaha! You're tricked! That's a jowkeee!"
"Where's your key? Baby?"
"I can drive, whewhewhehhh!"
"The key? You sound like an ambulance!"
"You're a *hiccups* bad angel!"
"The key?"
"H-here, inside my bag!" He retrieved it and helped me into the shotgun seat, even buckling my seatbelt. His scent reminded me of Raze.
"I'm sleeeppyyy! Angel? Please watch over me! *Sobs*" Memories of Raze flooded back, bringing tears before darkness enveloped me.
"Ouch!" My head throbbed, and my body ached all over.
"Aww!" I massaged my temples.
"Finally, you woke up!"
"Waaah!" I was startled. "R-raze? Why are you here?"
"What do you think?"
"Tsk!" Crap, it's already 10am? I'm so late for work. And my boss is here, dressed in his suit. Is he here to scold me? Did he really need to do that? My head hurts so bad.
"Stand up now!" His voice had a sharp edge to it.
"I'm not going to work! I'm going back to sleep! And please tell Trivor to send a new employee to Texno because I'm quitting!" I said, pulling the comforter over my head.
"I won't do that. Get up now and eat. You can work tomorrow. And stop avoiding me."
"I'm not avoiding you!"
"Then get up! I made chicken soup and porridge."
"I don't want to eat!"
"Don't force me to pull you out of bed. You're not a kid anymore!" His tone softened, but there was still a hint of frustration. Tears welled up in my eyes, a mix of guilt and confusion bubbling to the surface.
"I'll eat if you leave!" I demanded.
"Okay then," he responded, his footsteps echoing through the room as he walked to the door. Once I heard the door close, the tears began to flow uncontrollably, and I cried loudly, like a child who had lost their favorite toy.
"Damn it! I told you to eat, not to cry!" His voice startled me as he burst back into the room, slamming the door behind him. He was breathless, looking at me with a mix of worry and frustration. I couldn't say a word, only cry silently, overwhelmed by the emotions I'd been trying so hard to suppress.
"Don't cry! Don't blame yourself. Okay?" he whispered, his tone gentle yet firm. How did he know? His words broke through the walls I had built, and I couldn't hold back any longer. I missed him so much, and admitting it to myself made the tears flow even harder.
"I miss you... so much!" I sobbed, feeling his arms wrap around me. I burst into tears, the pain in my head mingling with the overwhelming emotions in my heart. His embrace was tight, comforting, and it made me feel both vulnerable and safe.
"Stop saying sorry because it's not your fault, okay? I still love you! I still love you, love!" he whispered, his voice breaking. I felt something warm and wet against my shoulder, realizing he was crying too.
"I was mad at you! You never explained, you never said goodbye! You just left me with our memories, memories that kill me every time. And a letter... a letter that I ripped into pieces because I couldn't accept it. I read it too late, just four months ago. I was really mad. No, I was really hurt, enough to hate the world. After you left, Dad sent me to Spain to handle business with Sabrina, but I didn't know they were setting up a wedding for us. I was the runaway groom, willing to fight for the only bride I wanted to say yes!
I gave up the investment company to pay Sab's parents for everything and the name I ruined. I don't understand myself. I was the victim, right? Don't you know that after that, I was so happy? Dad explained everything, apologized, and for the first time in my life, I felt what it meant to be loved by a father. I had a happy family, a booming business. I thought I had everything, yet you were missing. Only you can complete the missing piece in my puzzle, so I came after you."
His words washed over me, each one hitting harder than the last. I could see the pain in his eyes, the weight of his emotions. My heart ached for him, for us, for everything we had lost and everything we still had to gain.
"I found you easily, but I was heartbroken to see you happy with someone else. So, I left, disappointed and in tears, trying to accept that we weren't meant to be. Not until I found out that the man I saw with you was your childhood best friend, just recently. I never expected you to be here too. Do you know how sad the days were without you? Do you know how hard I fought? Do you know that I'm still suffering?"
I couldn't find the words. All I could do was cry, hugging him tightly. I never expected a guy like him to cry like this. I didn't realize the depth of his pain until now.
"I'm sorry," I whispered through my tears, "I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I see now how much pain I caused. I miss you every single day."
"We both suffered," he replied, his voice cracking. "But we don't have to anymore. Let's not waste any more time. I still love you, and I want us to try again."
His words felt like a lifeline, pulling me out of the darkness I'd been living in. Could we really have a second chance?
"I hurt him. All his efforts seemed unappreciated because of my decisions. But that doesn't matter anymore.
"I'm really sorry. I love you so much, Raze." As I said it, the thorns inside my heart suddenly vanished.
"I love you too, love. I missed you! I love you so much!" He wiped my tears before wiping his own. I never expected that this would happen today.
"Are you ready to start all over again?" he asked sincerely.
"Yes! At all costs now, Raze!" I replied. He didn't say a word but tenderly kissed me, causing tears of joy to silently flow again. I promised myself not to give up on love again, and I'm truly sorry for everything.
After that moment of reconciliation, we began to heal. We asked each other many questions and shared everything. Now, he was laughing heartily as he reminded me of what happened last night at the bar.
"You were hugging your car, saying 'baby, did you miss me?' and you even introduced me to your Thunder as your angel!" He was laughing hard, as if the tears from earlier were a distant memory. Thank God for this second chance.
I just smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek to quiet him down. After that day, we went to meet his parents. I was happy to see them again.
"Ma'am Rousey!" It had been a year, but she was as beautiful as ever, as if she hadn't aged a day, just like my mom.
Everything was settled. I could call her "Mom" again, and "Dad" for Sir Rance. I told Trivor about Raze and me, but he said he already knew.
I missed the mansion, especially the family there, Mother Sharn, the chefs, Sebastian, and even the past meanie, Erika and our friends, especially the pets.
Later on, we went back to Lahzon. Yes, "we" because I was with Raze and his parents, riding in a chopper. Raze formally apologized to my parents and asked for my hand.
A parent won't hinder their child's happiness, and yes, it's a new adventure and a new chapter of our lives.
Mom left the business to my aunt. We're going to Cazila now, just to enjoy the moment.
"Lorence Catherine Celo, will you marry me?" He was on one bent knee again, for the second time and in front of the crowd.
"I will, Raze. I will," I said as he hugged me and gave me a gentle peck afterward.
I have two rings now because I still wear the first memorable one on my finger.
"I love you, my always." he whispered.
The wedding is set for next week, and he seems excited and so am I.
Choosing gown designs, themes, motifs, invitations, music, and all the other details was challenging, but thankfully, they're all sorted out now. We've hired the best wedding planner, so all we need to do is ensure everything meets our taste.
"Love, I'm just heading out to buy a new set of pencils today. You don't have to accompany me, okay?" I said as he read something in his magazine.
"Sure, just call me if you need anything. Take care!" he replied.
"Okay, bye love!" I waved before heading out.
I headed to the nearest bookstore, about to enter when someone covered my nose and pulled me away. I felt drowsy.
"Hmm! Mmm!" My mouth was covered, and I couldn't speak.
"Ah! You're awake, my dear."
"S-Sabrina?" She's the one behind all this? Oh no!
"Yes, it's me, Sabrina Rex Davis!" She laughs with a sinister edge, and fear grips me. I'm tied up here, and she looks like she could do anything.
Her gaze is piercing. I'm in trouble.
Raze, please help!