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Depressive Thoughts..check spelling I don't care

DaddyCarvz
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Chapter 1 - I remember.

I was born in 1994. During that time the pope of the Catholic cult from Rome visited Philippines. Hence I have my name.

You know with all the generic things I have in life, I have an almost fantasy level memory..Almost. Nothing like the photosomething memory or anything similar. It's just that I can remember things at least from when I was 2 years old. Very clearly. When I try to tell that to my birth giver's family, they never believe me. I told it to my wife now as well but she just laughed in my face for that.

I guess it might be something impossible. But I am telling the truth. I remember the times when I just look out the window of the room I am staying. Watching as raindrops fell from the window.

I remember when my birth giver came back home from the midwife center carrying my so called little sister.

She was born March 1997. I was born August 1994. I am 2 years and 7 months old during that time. Obviously I didn't know the date nor how old I was then. I remember I was very happy during that time I tried carrying her. She was really light. My sperm donors grandma help me with it.

I remember before my sister was born, My sperm donor brought home dunkins. It was my first time as far as I remember to have such delicious food. It's also the first time I remember them not killing each other.

Probably he skip drugs that day.

It was so delicious for me that I did not bother to wash my hands after eating 1. I instead licked my fingers clean.

And so as we go to bed, I saw the rats approached me. They bit my fingers, my toes and ears. I was shaking so much because of the pain and fear.

But I held my tears and screams because the pain they gave me is nothing compared to how my sperm donor's hits if ever I was noisy especially night time because for him, that time is rest time so he does not want hearing noises and such.

I remember my first sister crying noisily and she was hit on the face. After that I never heard my sister crying. Nor she reacted whenever I try to speak to her.

Nah she's alive bruh.....

Just deaf and mute....

That junkie either hit us or fuck my birth giver everytime he goes home from a day working in a junkie center... I don't even know how you call it. Maybe headquarters? Honestly I do not know.

I remember one time I was so scared because he got home so banged in the head that just because my birthgiver don't have a meal ready yet he started hitting all of us. First of all he haven't given her any money for food yet, so why is he angry. I honestly didn't feel anything when I saw him beating her. It is a normal thing for me. But when I heard him say we will all die tonight, I escaped. I want to bring my sisters with me but I can't carry them to run.

So I ran as fast as I can to his grandma. She is the only one who can stop him. And also the closest.

I told her about it and she went there with some people. After maybe an hour my birthgiver called me. She's with my sisters. With a bag. I know where safe now. We went to her mother's place to live there together with her grandma and grandpa and other aunts. The house was big compared with the other houses in the area.

I was thinking maybe we can have a good life now. I guess I jinx myself. My birthgiver started working. I was left to take care of my 2 sisters. Well supposedly the adults are to take care of us. But no one really did. My birthgiver's brothers bully us. I learned to fight back for the first time. And I was hit for the first time by people other that the junkie.

When I fight back my birthgiver's mom will make sure we are miserable. We eat the bare minimum..I take a bath myself and also wash my sisters. I love the both of them. They are so innocent.

As time goes on 3 years past quickly with same routine everyday. I was turning six in a couple of months. That is when I learned that I was supposed to go to school at least the previous year or when I was 4 years old. But no one wants to take care of school things for me.

That is until one of my birthgiver....you know what let's use her name. Tina. That is until one of Tina's auntie suggested that I should go to school. Kindergarten to be exact. When she realize I can already write my name and do basic math just by hearing and watching her daughters do it.

So I was happy and sad during that time because I have to leave my sisters. Happy because I can go out. I walked everyday to school by myself. No snacks or money in my pocket. But I enjoyed learning. Tina was very happy when I got many medals for my grades. I was rank 1 that time.

Tina's auntie Cho brought me to a fast food restaurant. It was my first time on such a place and I was really happy. My first fries were divine. It was such an amazing day. That was until I got home and saw him.

The Junkie..Tina and the Junkie are together again. And it turns out she is pregnant again. It was a nightmare. For some reason after everything he did. They are together again. And no one said anything about it.

So for the year 2000 and 2001, Tina gave birth consecutively to 2 sons. The way the junkie and Tina are so happy with them. Made me think, why I never experience such happy occassions from them.

By 2002 we move to a new house. The junkie stops being a junkie and turned into a horse racing-chicken fighting-gun loving bastard. His name is Dave by the way.

By 2003 he had his own welding shop. So at the age of 9 I started to learn metal works. From measuring to cutting, from carrying load to fitting them in place. Getting electrocuted on a daily basis because of the electric current from the old welding machine. Don't get me wrong. I still go to school but during my time school is halfday only, in my area. School starts at 6 am ends at 12noon.

So after school I go directly to his shop to "help". I never get a salary for that. They said it's payment for my food and school. I think Tina is broken to agree with him as well. She's different now. She doesn't stop him from beating me. She doesn't even look affected. For some reason she stops caring about me and always telling me together with Dave that because I am the eldest I should make money.

My school performance started going downhill. I can still get very high grades during exams but I never completed a week of attendance at school. They also don't give me money for projects and materials for activity so my grades are always incomplete. Thanks to my skills I still get good grades in general since I can make do with what I can submit to school.

At least I can finish elementary with a good score.. But then things got much more nasty...